Do you have punishment for swearing?

[usernamesandgingerbreads]

DD (13) has just screamed that someone on tv stealing a goose on a Christmas film is a massive cunt
My Dad will go beserk if he hears her swear.

We don't have punishments for anything tbh... but mine are all under 8 and so far if they are doing something I don't want them to di I ask them to stop for X reason... and they do... dreading teens when I know this wont work anymore!

babydubs- why shouldn't it work?

My DC are 15 and nearly 12.

We don't punish for swearing, simply because we've had discussions about appropriate language, so in general they don't.

But sometimes, between the 4 of us (DP, me and DCs) we've been having a laugh and sometimes the swearwords get included as a joke. It's always been on the understanding it's between the 4 of us, and the DCs have really good behaviour outside the house, and never used the words inside the house in a nasty way, it's always been a joke (usually the F-word, Cunt is not used and never has been).

DP and I don't swear outside the house either, it's all about being appropriate.

Although, one evening, when I was taking DD somewhere (she's 15) I got a massive 4-letter rant about people at school. She has a bit of a reputation among her friends about being neutral, "never takes sides" and is respected for it, but sometimes wants a safe place to let off steam about the stupid stuff they do and I'm it. I don't mind the swearing as it's not being aimed at me. I get the feeling that when they all move on at the end of the school year, there'll only be a couple she'll keep in touch with. I know she really appreciates that she can let her hair down so much with me, and I can often turn something into a joke which can help her gain perspective, so the swearing is incidental.

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. But DCs are context sensitive. No inhibitions about swearing at home / with friends but would not do do in front of friends parents, grandparents etc.

freezingmog we don't really do punishments either. Apart from occasional grumpiness and a bit of squabbling, the dcs aren't naughty. They're ten year old twins. My oldest dc (19 and no longer lives at home) got 'punishments' which basically didn't work. I decided to approach things differently with the twins. Firm and high expectation of behaviour, and then if things go wrong, when it's calmed down we have discussions. Proper ones though. It makes for a pleasant life.

Use of words is purely contextual, not swearing in some scenarios is as offensive to some people as swearing is to others in different scenarios.

And non "swear-words" can be just as offensive to other groups. If you were not offended, then she's using the word fine and it's not appropriate to punish, if she used it in front of your dad then it might be different. I don't think it's really something to punish about though, just educate on the reasons not to offend anyone, and language can do it.

I don't tolerate it..I don't have a punishment just a look and a telling off... I think it's about being respectful to others and you can learn to express yourself without them. I rarely swear myself and never in front of my parents or to DH...

The other day my DD1 who seems to be a bit of a swearer called her sister a Greedy Bastard!...they started fighting..I wanted to laugh (my children's arguments are almost always hilarious) but I gave a good telling off over the phone (they were not with me)...I do think cunt and dick-head are really abhorrent for a young person to use although where I live the teens tend to say those words liberally.

and yet on Mumsnet I find cunt variations quite hilarious hypocrite much

Would bother me if it was a 7 year old. But a teenager? Not so much. I'd only be bothered if they called me a cunt in anger. Then there would have to be consequences!

I'd have a word about how the older generation are much more offended by swearing, and that grandpa will wash your mouth out with soap if you say that in front of him, etc.

I remember telling my DM to "get stuffed" at 13, and reaping the consequences for a long time after!

My parents have relaxed on the blaspheming since all their children are now adults, and my DM has been known to say "bloody" - but I've never heard DF swear, ever: and my DSibs and I only swear in front of each other. DSIL has no such inhibitions, and has, as DF says, quite "fruity" language. He thinks it's because she's not a native speaker

Oh god that is awful. Anything stronger than 'bloody' is punishable in this house and my DD is 15. That word for me is a horrible word and I would never ever say it myself. I would explain very carefully that it is not acceptable. Maybe she doesn't realise what she has said. If it's used agin then BIG punishment.

I never swore growing up. Parents never said worse than bloody so it would have been alien to swear. I still hardly ever swear and I find it offensive when I hear teens swearing coarsely in the street. I'm not offended when it's used in comedy or in a stand-up gig and find that funny but not directed at anyone or to try to appear grown up.

I'm 30 and have never sworn in front of my mother. She would go ballistic, I do swear like a trooper tho but understand respect of certain situations and people. I would expect my children to know the same. I want them to be relaxed around me so they can use the odd swear word in context but I would not tolerate them swearing at me.

Really don't understand why the word "cunt" is reacted to so strongly, to be honest, never have.

But if it bothers you, then ask her exactly what she thinks that means. Will make her uncomfortable enough not to say it again after a few minutes of squirming, I'm sure.

DS, a few weeks after starting school, turned around in an argument about getting pajamas on, looked at me seethingly and said, "you fucking person". He was four, he'd learnt it on the playground, and I bollocked him... Then had to shut myself in the bathroom because I was crying with laughter. But a teenager swearing? Meh. Normal.

I hate gratuitous swearing.Swearing when you have,say, stubbed your toe is understandable.