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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it is weird to stop talking to people when annoyed (light-hearted)

13 replies

shinynewusername · 21/12/2015 22:14

NB: I'm not talking about going NC due to EA or stonewalling as part of domestic abuse...

...I mean not talking to someone because you are in a strop. Who does this over the age of three 18? It happens all the time on MN but I have never known anyone do it IRL (chance would be a fine thing, in my mother's case ).

Is this one of those things that only seems to exist on MN, or have I led a sheltered life?

OP posts:

BrandNewAndImproved · 21/12/2015 22:16

I do it

I get pissed off and need to not talked at or be irritated for an hour or so to get over it.

I realise it's quite childish that I still can't suppress my emotions (terrible Road rage) but I can't seem to help it either.

LindyHemming · 21/12/2015 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thegiddylimit · 21/12/2015 22:20

Well, it depends what you mean by not talking. If you mean having a big stop and flouncing off when the person you're annoyed at comes into the room, yes that is childish. If you mean biting your tongue so things don't escalate then no, that's quite sensible adult behaviour.

Original poster

shinynewusername · 21/12/2015 22:21

Oh, brandnew, I think that's totally normal! I meant officially not talking to people, as in, "I'm not talking to you because....". And then carrying on for days or longer.

OP posts:

BrandNewAndImproved · 21/12/2015 22:26

Oh I've done that as well.

I didn't speak to my sister for over a year. I didn't make a big deal about it or flounce off if she was at my dms but I didn't acknowledge her. In fairness to me she was being a complete bitch, there's a huge back story and father final straw was promising to do things with my kids and then not turning up when she said she was so I just cut her off dead in my head. It probably was childish but it was that or blow up and have a never coming back from that sort of falling out.

If I don't like you then you don't exist. However in work I'm extremely professional without being walked over so I obviously can control my teenage drama lama and talk to people I don't like. I just find it pointless in real life.

BrandNewAndImproved · 21/12/2015 22:27

The not father. Not sure how that got there!

TimeToMuskUp · 21/12/2015 22:28

I do it occasionally, it's more a self-preservation thing because I think I'll either go utterly, unforgivably batshit at them or I'll cut off and calm myself down via the medium of ignorance. Works for me.

marmaladegranny · 21/12/2015 22:29

My MIL used to do this! She sometimes would say on the phone that she hadn't spoken to so & so for 4 or 5 days but they hadn't taken any notice!
Her son (my DH) did it too - go off down the garden in a right huff but not speaking to me when he came back. He could keep it up for days - I found the best way to deal with it was to ask him if he wanted dinner, cup of tea etc or just natter away at him, that really wound him up but he always gave up eventually.

pigsDOfly · 21/12/2015 22:40

One of my DDs had a friend who's mother would do this. She didn't speak to her DD - they were about 14/15 at the time - for about 3 weeks after one row.

It'd never work for me, I wouldn't be able to shut up long enough.

TyneTeas · 21/12/2015 23:16

is there maybe a difference for whether you need a bit of time to calm down and find a grip decide whether and how to respond or if you are doing it pointedly so they notice the silent punishment you have decreed so they can recognise the error of their ways and beg your forgiveness : )

Cel982 · 21/12/2015 23:20

YANBU, OP, I haven't done this since I was a kid and find it a bit silly when it's over something relatively trivial. A husband not speaking to his wife for days is pretty , marmalade...

TyneTeas · 21/12/2015 23:22

Reminds me of the saying, "I don't hold grudges, I just remember facts"

: )

mumofthemonsters808 · 21/12/2015 23:27

I'm guilty of this, not in relation to trivial things, but when I'm mega pissed off I tend to retreat into my shell and just avoid any contact. One of the biggest flaws in my personality is that I do not forgive very easily. I have a friend who shouts and screams and gets things off her chest and then everything is back to normal. Sometimes, I wish I could be like this.

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