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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think my sil of fucking rude

27 replies

Tamponlady · 21/12/2015 20:01

So today I receive a Christmas card from my sister in law we have been married since 2008 she has been to our home twice

And let me say she's not very nice things she quite a bit better than me because she has been to Oxford and we lived until recently in a council house.

I also have had numerous runs in with her including her telling eveyone our house was dirty and I can I just say for the recorded its not I run a tight ship we have just been approved to adopt for a 2nd time and wouldn't have been or allowed to foster for the 8 years we did if our home was dirty

So the card said exactly this

To tamponman and tampon lady and Bob and sue

(The printed greeting)
merry Christmas

Btw were coming on the 27th for dinner

Julie ,max and the kids

Um WTF I think this is very cheeks of her I really don't want her here I think the way she's invited herself over is Cheeky to say the least she could of at least phoned and asked

I just told do I off out shopping on the 27th as I don't want to see her fucking face

OP posts:
blueturtle6 · 21/12/2015 20:05

Tell her you are ealy spring cleaning that day but she's welcome to help Xmas Wink

RabbitSaysWoof · 21/12/2015 20:06

I think SIL's are the new MIL this week. I would just be busy that day.

HSMMaCM · 21/12/2015 20:06

Send one back with

BTW we'll be out.

Oldraver · 21/12/2015 20:06

Thats seriously cheeky..I would be out if you cant face telling her to bugger off

MotherofFlagons · 21/12/2015 20:07

She went to Oxford and she can't punctuate? Jolly poor show. ;)

LagunaBubbles · 21/12/2015 20:08

I think I get the gist. Who invites themselves to someone else's for dinner?Xmas Confused

Notrevealingmyidentity · 21/12/2015 20:08

I'd send her one back with

PS "no you aren't"

BondJayneBond · 21/12/2015 20:08

No chance she's misinterpreted something you or your DH have said as an invite?

TimeToMuskUp · 21/12/2015 20:09

Text her and say if she comes to dinner you'll likely pop some cyanide in her tea so probably best piss off elsewhere.

Seriously, what is it with Christmas that means you have to spend time with people you intensely dislike? I refuse to spend my favourite time of year with fuckwits. Except the DCs, I can't get away from them.

Creampastry · 21/12/2015 20:10

Tell her you're busy!!

Original poster
Tamponlady · 21/12/2015 20:11

The issues apart form her telling eveyone in our family what a shit pit we live in

We were all at my mil (she lives abroad ) home it wasn't late about 6:30 and my son was 11 so entertaining himself in the big room I needed to go to the supermarket to get some bits for his breakfast milk ect mil only drinks balck coffee didn't have much for kids and we were there for 3 weeks asked sil if she could watch did for 20 minutes while we went to the shop as he was busy playing she said NO he's not my child

Other issues include her not turning up for her dress fitting with all the other maids it then taking 6 days to arrange for me to travel to her so she could try on the dress only for her to be out and I had to wait 2 hours for her to get home

also when I had my hen night I sent out a email saying that I would soon be sending eveyone the time date and venue for my hen do as made of Houner still hadn't narrowed it down so keep a eye out

She replied thank you for the invite however I will be busy on that evening as I have a prior engement
Confused I hadn't even sent the time date wtf

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 21/12/2015 20:14

So what is your DH going to do about it, after all it's his sister?

Conundrumparpapumpum · 21/12/2015 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Tamponlady · 21/12/2015 20:16

LagunaBubbles Mon 21-Dec-15 20:08:24

Exactly

poster BondJayneBond
No she been to ours only a few times since we have been married I don't speak to her and dh last spoke to her 8 months ago he speaks to her maybe once a year

I had a predicable text saying she wasn't attending dds birthday party

There were rumblings from the older brother that they were planning to come to ours last month however when he saw my face he backed down saying he wasn't sure what was going on a nd I told dh then your sister is fucking cheeky

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 21/12/2015 20:17

Say nothing, just go out for the day.

Original poster
Tamponlady · 21/12/2015 20:18

My plan is to just go out I got a list of things we need 65% off the sale price so I shall just let him get on with things

OP posts:
MistressoftheYoniverse · 21/12/2015 20:23

I just had a WDG (wine dribble giggle) who the hell does she think she is ?....sorry but I'm OUT on that day and any other day you choose to invite your dry, annoying, irritating arse around my house ...what a cheek!

NanaNina · 21/12/2015 20:37

This is most probably a wind-up - it's a MN thing that they do at Christmas. I'm not entirely sure how it works but you give the name and address of the person you want to send a card to, including something like "see you on the 26th - we'll be staying a couple of nights" and the recipients don't know what's going on. I think the sender then has to explain it's a joke. There's 2 names (M and F) but I can't remember what they are - oh hang on - I think it's Janet and Roy. I don't know what the origin is but presumable someone called Janet and Roy sent such a card. Oh yes just remembered you have to link up with someone who can post the card with the relevant postmark.

It's a bit of a hassle I reckon. Maybe MNHQ can tell us if this "scheme" is happening this year.

LaLyra · 21/12/2015 20:40

Do you have other family coming on the 27th? Has she just invited herself randomly or is she inviting herself to a family gathering?

Original poster
Tamponlady · 21/12/2015 20:54

There is no family gathering bar the family that live here my husbands parents are over however I have not said in any shape or form not by owl or smoke signal that she is welcome to come over for dinner dh has said she is possibly bringing the in laws and I told him that's still fucking rude

Nana Nina this is my sil all over sadly she equates being educated with manners so as she is highly educated she things she is polite

OP posts:
ghostspirit · 21/12/2015 20:57

tell her your not home on that day..

or tell her fuck off

or no you aint coming

NanaNina · 21/12/2015 20:59

Maybe, but I think it's worth checking with MNHQ

LittleBeautyBelle · 21/12/2015 21:01

I'm sorry, OP, that is terrible behavior from your sil. Letting her run you out of your own home so she can barge in for the day while your dh capitulates to her is only going to empower her further to do whatever she pleases.

First of all, her card announcing she's coming on the 27th to your house for dinner, uninvited, does not deserve a response or any defensive effort whatsoever on your part.

Secondly, if there is something fun you and your husband and children can do as a family that day until very late in the evening, do that. If not, stay in as a family and relax, watch a special film, keep the hatches battened down and the doors locked, the phones off and the doorbell disengaged.

Explain this to your husband in very simple terms.

In a perfect world, your dh would deal with his sister but in the real world this very rarely happens. The dhs of the world cower and do not deal at all, leaving their wives holding the bag and holding the door wide open for awful sils to sail through.

Good luck, OP. Do not put up with her garbage anymore. You don't deserve to be treated like that.

AdjustableWench · 21/12/2015 21:42

I wonder if she went to Oxford Brooks but says she went to Oxford and lets you assume it was the more prestigious university. I used to know someone with no manners who did this.

AdjustableWench · 21/12/2015 21:42

I wonder if she went to Oxford Brooks but says she went to Oxford and lets you assume it was the more prestigious university. I used to know someone with no manners who did this.

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