To dislike seeing young children with pierced ears.

[Singsongsungagain]

Inspired by a picture on FB today of a friend's young child (6 years old) sobbing her eyes out whilst getting her ears pierced.
Why the hell would any decent parent hold their child steady to allow their ears to be pierced? What is it all about??

DD (6) wants to have hers done.

We have been told by her cardiologist that she is not supposed to have any piercings or tattoos. Job done. She's not having her ears pierced until she's able to mae an informed decision herself about the medical risks.

Etak i dont like it on boys or men looks girly but i wouldny be debating about it after observingit either i just dont care their choice

I wouldn't force a child- I'm not a fan of babies or toddlers getting their ears pierced, but my then 4yo DD really wanted her pierced, and she has never been overly bothered by pain (didn't flinch at needles etc) so we allowed her as a treat. She was absolutely fine and was made up with her pierced ears. Even the lady who pierced them was amazed as it didn't bother her! My older daughter who is 8 now is adamant she doesn't want them and that's fine too. I think it should be their choice.

I think pierced ears look tacky and cheap on babies and very young children.

I met somebody at a playgroup who had a 12 month old with newly pierced ears. She was ever so proud of herself for having them done, raved about how gorgeous they were blah blah blah. A few weeks passed and she started moaning about her suddenly not sleeping well anymore at night, crying a lot and generally very irritable all of a sudden. It turned out after a trip to the doctor the poor kid had an infected piercing angry very sore, probably too sore to lie on her side to sleep. And for what? To make her already beautiful daughter "look gorgeous"

Ah, but it's 'cultural'. That apparently excuses everything.

"Find- I am astounded at your view given that your child ended up in hospital as a result of something so unnecessary,"

Oh good grief! A lovely nurse popped out her earring in about five seconds. It was a shame for my daughter but it wasn't anyone's fault - she was just unlucky.

I don't really like it on children under the age of about 14, but I respect other people's right to do it... as long as the child is happy. If you have to hold them down and they are crying, that to me is cruel. Wait a bit longer until the child feels ready.

Feel free to sign the petition

you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/ban-ear-piercing-for-babies-toddlers

this would be a good start!

I look at pictures of myself as a child and surprised anyone could think I look cheap or my nieces

It's weird when you think about it- the desire to put holes into skin. I don't get it. As I said, I had mine done at 19 as everyone around me encouraged me. They got infected and I removed them and never replaced them. My life without earrings has been tolerable!!!

Allowing young children to make the decision seems a bit strange too really. Letting 4 year olds have them pierced because "they want them doing" is a strange sort of parenting choice. We are the adults- here to make good and safe decisions for our children. I assume that most parents would be ok about saying no to a 4 year old about countless other less permanant/painful things??

I'm not a fan, and in honesty kind of wish mine hadn't been done as a child as I remember the infection I got, the pain of the subsequent re-piercing of the ears, and now I have dints in my lobes because there are fucking pointless holes in them.

Much better to wait until a child is old enough to be able to ask and articulate why they want it doing. To me, that's would be 6 at the very minimum, but more like eight.

Dd has been begging since she was about 4 to get hers done. I finally said she can for her 11th birthday if she still wants to.
Mine were done at the jewelers at 11 I went by on my own with my pocket money.

She'll be 11 in a few weeks and is still desperate, so I spoke to a local tattoo and piercing place today to see what is entailed and the cost. They have great reviews all licensed etc and we'll be heading over there after new year.
Even my Mum has bought her some lovely gold earrings for her birthday she can put them in after 6 weeks.
I think they look nice on babies who are pierced at birth like in Spain. My cousins live there.
I wouldn't do it to a toddler no way they could be still enough for it to be fast.

"It's weird when you think about it- the desire to put holes into skin."

Lots of things are weird when you think about it. That's hardly an argument.

And you're right, there are plenty of things I don't let my 8 year old do. We have a stand-off probably every other day about things she wants to do that I don't think are safe or good for her.

As parents we do mental risk/benefit calculations all the time. To give another example, horse-riding is a pretty dangerous hobby, but I don't see many threads on mumsnet wringing their hands about why anyone would let their little Hermione anywhere near a pony. I wonder why that might be. Let me think.

Because horse riding is exercise in fresh air. What are the benefits to ear piercing?

I got mine done at 16, with money I earned from my Saturday job. Had them pierced again a few years later (can't remember why) , but stopped wearing them all together twenty odd years ago, when my babies kept pulling on them (I only liked hoops). I haven't missed them at all. I don't see the point of earrings at all now.
I wonder if fewer adults will wear ear rings in the future ,now that it's becoming less common for young children to have them done. I suppose if you have your ears pierced as a baby or very young child it's just something you never think about as you've never known differently.

Some people find horses large, smelly, and frightening (not me, incidentally). Some other people really like the look of pierced ears. I know you think they're weird. Lots of things are weird. I think high-heeled shoes are weird and I wouldn't be letting my child go to school in a pair of those. I also wouldn't let her dye her hair if she wanted to. So we've all got different thresholds.

It's almost like... now wait a minute, this might be a bit of a mind bender so I want you to bear with me... could it be that, possibly, most of us are trying to do our best and making judgements as we go, and some of those might be different to the judgements that you personally would make, but that's OK, right? I mean, surely.

Unless what you're actually saying is that everyone should think the same as you about everything, in which case I'm pretty sure there's a DSM-5 category for that.

Do you think a parent holding her child steady while she sobs over earrings that she doesn't need and that in no way will improve her life whilst another person takes a photo that will later be posted on FB is doing their best??

I think your OP is pretty hard to argue with though. I'd hate the idea of holding a child down to have their ears pierced, it feels abusive. But it's not always like that, is my point. My 8 year old barely noticed her ears being pierced and enjoyed telling the story over the hot chocolates SUGAR KLAXON sorry, carrot sticks we enjoyed afterwards.

I had my ears pierced very young but it was more normal in the early 90's than it is now.

Oddly off all the piercings I've had since as an adult, those first piercings are the only ones which have caused no issues. All others have migrated and had to be removed. Other ear piercings, belly button, nipples, none lasted more than a year.

I got my ears pierced 3 times between the age of 13-15 they kept getting horrifically infected and closing up. 15 years later certain metals will give me an awful reaction and make my ears red and swell up. I couldn't potentially put my dd through that

I had it done at 8 because I wanted it done. I also had my seconds done at 14 and my nose at 15 or 16. My mum was fine with all of them.

Why assume a parent is a bad parent because they let their child have pierced ears? I hardly think they're forcing the child to. And suggesting banning piercing until 18 is ridiculous

I had my ears pierced at about 6. I'd been asking for a long time for them to be done, and my parents only agreed as a compromise becase I needed to have my hair cut short and was as broken hearted about it as only a six year old can be. I loved them at the time (and had a peerless collection of cat-themed studs), but gave up wearing them as I became less girly at about age 10-11. Had them pierced again at about 23.

Did me no harm - and indeed, made me very happy.

Pierced ears are not compulsory!!

No it's not compulsory. But honestly how many adult women do you see walking around without pierced ears? If the majority of girls/women will want it done eventually then how is it not good sense to have them done at an age where they will not remember the experience and you as the parent can be responsible for proper care, cleaning and ensuring they do not become infected?

I had my ears done at 8 years old after BEGGING (and I mean properly banging on relentlessy) my mum for about 3 years. Loads of other girls in my class had them done. My mum warned me it would hurt, but that didn't help when I actually got there! It hurt, I cried, wouldn't let them do the second one and took ages to get it done. Then because I was at an age where I was responsible for my own personal care, inevitably they became infected . . .cue more pain. It was my own experience that made me decide to have my daughters ears pierced early . . . to SAVE them from a painful experience . . . not to inflict unnecessary pain, not because it looks cute and CERTAINLY not because I am a chav.

Both my DD had theirs done at around age 2. They cried (a bit) for maybe 20 seconds, till I gave them their comforters and by the time we'd got round the corner to the cake shop it was all forgotten. I took care of them and never had any problems. That to me is FAR better than what I went through. I don't know how people can think it looks awful, you don't even notice tiny studs and that's all they've ever had!

As a sideline . . . how many people have posted here about their DD's begging and pleading and going on and on . . . if you're going to give in eventually then why not save yourself years worth of earache?!

YANBU to be disturbed by a fb pic of a child being held down and screaming, I too think that's odd and wonder why they would post that? But you ARE B U if you judge every time you see a small child walk past with earrings. They are not your children and you have no idea of the reasons behind why their parents chose to get them/let them have them done or of the experience the child had, good or bad.

Honestly when I decided to get my girls done I had NO idea there would be such a wrath of judgement. I've had to have this conversation SO many times

I don't understand etak why the double standards between boys and girls?!