DD, now 10, has ADHD and aspergers so bedtimes have always been a nightmare but the run up to exciting events, and the end of terms when exhaustion hits, have always been that bit worse.
I know it's hard work, but try to address the bedtime issues calmly rather than giving in to anger (believe me, I know how hard that is!!).
For the time after tea before bed, start to slow down the pace. So no loud noisy toys, no wild board games or running around. But a quiet programme on tv, curl up together and read a story aloud, that sort of thing. We make sure that there is an hour of calm before bed, and that often includes rubbing her back or feet for a while (sensory and calming, she loves that).
Does he enjoy a bath? I have found that can be very calming, and DD still has long baths now on particularly hyper nights, every Sunday night and Christmas Eve. We use lavender bubble bath, Lush ickle bot bath bombs (full of lavender) or sometimes plain. And she has a good basket of bath toys that she can mess with, squirt water in the bath but not outside it, full and overflow, and watch swimming. We used to pour water down her back sometimes too, just trickling from a cup - like the back rubs, she loves the feeling.
Before heading upstairs, we still usually give her a drink of milk. Often warm, or hot chocolate. But fills her belly and helps sleepiness.
There's a routine to getting to bed - the same every night - and that helps her brain get into sleep mode. Bathroom, then up to her room to change into pjs, back downstairs to fill hot water bottle, and then one of us tucks her in. We used to read to her every night, but have eased back on that over the past few years to only nights she really needs it. But she does listen to audio books on her ipod going to sleep, and that helps too. (DH is the same and needs a voice talking to go to sleep, I used to have music but am happy with the voice instead, we have radio 4 extra on in our room).
She is also allowed to read, or colour (with pencils) in bed, and sometimes she sorts her Match Attax cards. But in bed, under the covers, and preferably turning off her light when she's done. And she has a few stuffed animals in her bed still, who are often ignored but still get lots of cuddles sometimes and on occasion I hear her telling them about her day (when she might not tell us) so worth keeping them there to let out any worries.