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Original poster

To have a music video channel on during the daytime when babysitting a 3 & 1yo

90 replies

DyslexicScientist · 19/12/2015 08:54

Just that really, I know music videos aren't perfect but my sister was pretty pissed off when she came back and the three year old was dancing to Ariana grande. It wasn't a slutty video, but did have short skirts, suggestive looks I guess, pretty mild compared with what is out there. Wasn't a r and b type video or rianna, would of turned it off if it was.

Obviously I won't do it again as she didn't like it. But was I u to do it in the first place?

OP posts:
Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 19/12/2015 15:55

Are people too fucking stupid to let their children see things and explain to them that it is wrong?

What about those that let their kids watch whatever and say nothing because it's all just a bit of a laugh and we don't want to overthink these things do we?

AuntieStella · 19/12/2015 16:02

If you want music on, put on the radio.

If there's something to watch in a screen, chances are the DC will watch it, and your actions might be driving coach and horses through the usual screen time policy.

Or if that isn't the case, and it's what they're watching not the mere fact of screen on, then it is generally better to choose more child-centric channels or DVDs.

SweetAdeline · 19/12/2015 16:04

I have no problem with age appropriate TV or music, and I have watched music videos myself so I know what they're like and I think a lot are unsuitable for primary age and below.

Ohbehave1 · 19/12/2015 16:07

Theydontknow. That isn't the question here. The point I was making was that it is better for children to know what is right and what is wrong than just shield them from what you perceive to be wrong.

I have no problem with my children seeing music channels. If they do something I think is not correct I will tell them what they should do and why what they were doing is wrong.

And tbh, if the parents are letting them watch anything they want and treat it as a big joke there are probably bigger issues than the kids seeing a music video.

And it is not about sticking them in front of the Tv for hours on end. It is occasionally having it on.

Original poster
DyslexicScientist · 19/12/2015 16:07

If you want music on, put on the radio.

That's like saying don't watch movies orntv, just listen to audio books.

We were just having some fun watching music videos and following the choreography.

OP posts:
Original poster
DyslexicScientist · 19/12/2015 16:08

And we didn't have it on in the background. They were getting restless and wanting cartoons on and I don't like how that turns them into zombies so I wanted to do something more active.

OP posts:
Ohbehave1 · 19/12/2015 16:12

Dyslexic. You know that there are people on here that are just like Rev Lovejoys wife on The Simpsons. "But who'll think of the Children."

The fact that most people can see the difference between what is right and wrong, and will make sure their children know will fail to see anything other than their own view and will want to ban all that they consider "wrong"

BondJayneBond · 19/12/2015 16:26

*If you want music on, put on the radio.

That's like saying don't watch movies orntv, just listen to audio books.*

Not really. Music is primarily an auditory experience. You don't need to watch a video to appreciate music. You could even argue that the video distracts from the actual music itself.

Whereas movies and audio books are two different ways of telling a story, and can offer different perspectives on the same story.

Quodlibet · 19/12/2015 20:47

Personally, I don't want my toddler watching lots of TV.

I don't want her being exposed to persistent (and in my view damaging) gender stereotypes in adverts and music videos. That doesn't make me a pearl clutcher; it makes me someone who has thought a lot about this imagery, read a lot about it, and who is really concerned by its effects. In a way I think the imagery is more pernicious if it's absorbed at an age where they are far too young to understand or question it - it becomes just the way things are. And I think that's worrying.

I don't want her used to lots of screen time. I'd rather she was actively playing.

We don't have a TV at home; I choose gender neutral toys and books that don't perpetuate gender stereotypes. We don't have women's magazines around the house. I'm sure as she grows she'll be more and more exposed to all these things and I'm sure request some of them, I'm not under any illusions.

Of course I cannot shield her from these things forever. But I can limit her exposure. And I can ask the same from other people who I choose to be her care-givers. You wouldn't say 'oh but there's no point putting sunscreen on your kids cos they'll still be exposed to the sun at many points in their life'. You do what you can to limit their exposure to things you believe are damaging. And I think you can provide a role model and home where these things (mainstream commercial/consumer culture) is given little importance.

Quodlibet · 19/12/2015 20:48

I should add: these are my/our decisions and choices; I don't expect them to be widely shared and nor do I judge others who've made different choices.

BackforGood · 19/12/2015 23:27

Hmm, but the point is, if you are looking after someone else's dc, then you only show them stuff that is universally acceptable.
We all make our own judgements and decisions about at what ages we let our own dc watch stuff that some might not approve of, but if you are responsible for other people's dc, you err on the side of caution.
Be that not letting 16 yr olds play an 18 rated game, or not letting 13 yr olds watch a 15 rated film that you might be happy for your own dc to watch - it's not your call for other people's dc.
They are only 3 and 1 - the age for something off cbbies, surely.

Original poster
DyslexicScientist · 20/12/2015 10:18

*Not really. Music is primarily an auditory experience. You don't need to watch a video to appreciate music. You could even argue that the video distracts from the actual music itself.

Whereas movies and audio books are two different ways of telling a story, and can offer different perspectives on the same story.*

Hmm we were watching music videos. The video is just as important as the music. I think your point are totally invalid.
Have my first Biscuit

Do you refuse to get any books with pictures as books are for words and pictures may distract?

OP posts:
Original poster
DyslexicScientist · 20/12/2015 10:19

Totally agree oh behave, I wander what damage I would of done dancing to pop music with children. It must fuck their life up eh Grin

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 20/12/2015 10:25

It's very important that little girls learn that their purpose in life is to be sexually objectified.
Well done op for setting them on that path.

Helmetbymidnight · 20/12/2015 10:42

Oh behave- where are people saying they want music videos banned?
Op, where have people said dancing is damaging?
Do you genuinely not understand what people have said?

Original poster
DyslexicScientist · 20/12/2015 10:49

It's very important that little girls learn that their purpose in life is to be sexually objectified.
Well done op for setting them on that path.

Confused you do know we just watched Bruno mars, Elton john, crj, Jonas and Adrianne grand. You make it sound like we were watching hard core porn where women were objectified.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=qV5lzRHrGeg

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 20/12/2015 10:52

Oh it wasn't "a slutty video" was it.

Original poster
DyslexicScientist · 20/12/2015 10:55

I've already said we didn't watch any slutty videos.

For the people having a go at me for using that word. What would you describe this video as?

OP posts:
BondJayneBond · 20/12/2015 11:05

we were watching music videos. The video is just as important as the music.

Well, that's not something I'm ever going to agree with. I think the music is infinitely more important than the video.

Original poster
DyslexicScientist · 20/12/2015 11:10

Depends what your doing, if your trying to copy choreographe it is very important. Probably copying this helped with development quite frankly.

OP posts:
SweetAdeline · 20/12/2015 11:28

Very few modern music videos have choreography I'd want my 3yr old copying.

SweetAdeline · 20/12/2015 11:33

I don't want my preschooler watching/dancing like this for example:

Ariana Grande

Even the advert before it started was a perfume ad with a woman writhing about on the floor ffs.
Think we'll stick to CBeebies and the kids section on Netflix.

ghnocci · 20/12/2015 11:40

The problem is the video not the music and I'd have been pissed off too.

DD is 4 and she has never seen this kind of video and I'll keep it that way as long as I can. She doesn't need to be sent messages about the sexualisation of women's bodies at her age. She'll be bombarded with it soon enough, why deliberately add to it?

Not precious about tv btw, she's grown up with plenty of CBeebies and netflix.

MiaowTheCat · 20/12/2015 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TracyBarlow · 20/12/2015 12:52

I'd describe myself as a pretty slack parent. I'm not really a big one for meals made from scratch, crafting with my kids, taking them to endless extra-curricular activities etc. So not a pearl clutcher. But I really draw the line at MTV. The videos have overtly sexual or adult themes. I don't want my kids writhing around, humping each others' legs aged three. They can dance (innocently) to the radio.