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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have a music video channel on during the daytime when babysitting a 3 & 1yo

90 replies

DyslexicScientist · 19/12/2015 08:54

Just that really, I know music videos aren't perfect but my sister was pretty pissed off when she came back and the three year old was dancing to Ariana grande. It wasn't a slutty video, but did have short skirts, suggestive looks I guess, pretty mild compared with what is out there. Wasn't a r and b type video or rianna, would of turned it off if it was.

Obviously I won't do it again as she didn't like it. But was I u to do it in the first place?

OP posts:

Original poster

DyslexicScientist · 19/12/2015 11:12

Thanks all, good to hear some different views so I can at least see my systems POV.

Love the story goat, I will have tobre tell that one!

My other nice who is 8, was bought up on classical music and did the whole turn it off to radio 1 type music. She was very very upset the first time she went to a school disco and didn't know the songs unlike all her friends. So her mum let her start listening to pop music, the first song she took to and keept singing was "all about the bass"...

OP posts:

Original poster

DyslexicScientist · 19/12/2015 11:13

Ha x post! I think they do exist.

OP posts:

NeedsAMousekatool · 19/12/2015 11:17

It's hardly pearl clutching and smug to not want kids to watch Ariana Grande down on all fours in a plastic micro mini running her tongue over her highly glossed lips. The music is one thing - and there's the radio so kids can learn the words and be like their friends - the imagery is something else entirely.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 19/12/2015 11:24

Seeing as my first three years I was raised in a flat w/out tv and pre music vid era (70s) I could be all pearl clutchy about this music vids in the background thing, but my mum fondly remembers me dancing around in my nappy to the constant folk music soundtrack she had in the background. In fact my favourite song was 'cuckoo's nest' which is basically about a man wanting to clap his hands on a woman's fanny...

Personally I prefer inflicting introducing my kids to all the music I love on radio or mp3 rather than the shite on music channels, but music is very important to me and certainly hasn't delayed the kids speech as they never stop talking

BondJayneBond · 19/12/2015 11:29

I wouldn't be happy at all if someone looking after my kids (4 & 2) put a music channel on the TV for them. Too many music videos have very sexual imagery that I think is very unsuitable for children to watch.

I haven't seen the video mentioned in the OP so can't comment on that, but even if I came in and the video currently on was okay, I'd be concerned that there'd been a bunch of unsuitable videos on before that.

Radio, on the other hand, that would generally be okay IMO, because it's the over sexualized videos rather than the music I object to.

LovelyFriend · 19/12/2015 11:35

So you think potentially young children might be traumatised because they think think that their friends are watching music videos but they aren't?

But you don't think any possible harm could be done to young developing minds watching over sexualised images, projecting very strong one sides images about women (and men) over and over?

Ok then.

I'm no pearl clutcher I can assure you . I don't think you have really thought about this at all.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 19/12/2015 12:08

I'd never let the children watch a music channel that has Ariana Whatsherface on because I'd rather stick needles in my ears. They get the odd blast of Kerrang or Scuzz though, usually when theyrebhaving one of their nineties/naughties angst-offs:o

These days we tend to batter the Spotify subscription instead, as I prefer not to have the telly on - my lot turn into zombies when there's a screen on. It could be showing the test card and they'd still stare at it just in case.

Pollyputhtekettleon · 19/12/2015 12:14

Argh. I hate seeing 3yr olds thrusting their asses like By once and rubbing their hands all over their bodies suggestively to music. Other people find it cute. It's your children, your call. But I will do my best to raise both my boy and my girls to be confident, easygoing but to also have some understanding of how women are objectified and ultimately treated.

TaliZorah · 19/12/2015 12:16

YANBU, I don't have a problem with that kind of thing. I think people overthink it.

5madthings · 19/12/2015 12:22

On the contrary I think people don't think enough about the kinds of messages these music videos and other advertising and media give to children.

Obviously as they get older you can't limit their exposure in the same way you can when they are little but I certainly make sure we talk about the imagery and the way women especially are portrayed in them. So they can at least have a critical understanding. With four boys I think this is really important.

And we are a household that loves music and listens to it a lot, but you don't have to watch the videos to appreciate the sound.

BlueJug · 19/12/2015 12:26

Every kids "misses out" on something. I didn't get ballet, or classical music, I wasn't allowed out as much, we didn't have as much money as some of my friends did. Friends missed out on having a dad who did lots of stuff with them and helped with their homework like mine did and foreign holidays staying with a relative. My kids missed out on not having young parents. Other kids missed out on not having older parents or parents who could take them to the theatre or a house in the lovely open country - or one in the town near museums and shops. No kid has everything.

And Music vids for a toddler no I 'm not in favour - background screens do tend to slow down learning, ( I am a language teacher), and I don't like the portrayal of women in these vids - but each to their own.

Greenzoe14 · 19/12/2015 12:37

Bullshit on this having an impact on the dc learning to talk.

it is known to have a huge impact, there is absolutly no question or controversy about that, it is a plain simple fact,

Why would it not have an impact? Why would anyone dispute it? If you want back ground noise on occasionally, fine, but it certainly impedes language acquisition. Still, that is your choice, to have it on anyway sometimes.

"Pearl clutchers" is a word used by bullies to try and ridicule and demean people who are doing their best to know what is the right thing to do by children.

Ohbehave1 · 19/12/2015 13:05

Greenzoe. So you are taking the moral high ground are you?

**
"Pearl clutchers" is a word used by bullies to try and ridicule and demean people who are doing their best to know what is the right thing to do by children.**
**
So those that don't agree don't know what the right thing to do by their children is. Well aren't you just the same being a bully saying you are right and they are wrong.

Are people too fucking stupid to let their children see things and explain to them that it is wrong? That dancing in a certain way is wrong just like you would tell a child calling someone a cunt is wrong.

Greenzoe14 · 19/12/2015 13:13

I'm not taking the moral high ground. I am answering the question about whether it is reasonable to get upset that a 1 and a 3 year old had the music channel on. yes, there are reasons why this might upset someone.

One of the reasons is that back ground noise is known to impede language development.

That doesn't mean no one should ever have music on when looking after a child, just that it is best to be aware of this, and use it in moderation.

I haven't called anyone any bullying names. Other posters are using the name calling "pearl clutchers" to try and demean people who are doing their best for their kids.

Using the term "pearl clutchers" is nasty and bullying.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 19/12/2015 13:19

Don;t use "Slutty" in relation to other women please OP. It's not on.

Original poster

DyslexicScientist · 19/12/2015 14:06

Don;t use "Slutty" in relation to other women please OP. It's not on.

did you read my post? I didn't, I said she wasn't.

Are you looking to be offended? I wouldn't call someone of either sexes slutty.

OP posts:

Lavent · 19/12/2015 14:09

I am not a fan of this either and makes me feel uncomfortable in other people's houses but I bite my tongue usually.
If you want music turn the radio on.

LovelyFriend · 19/12/2015 14:27

By saying someone didn't look slutty implies you think others do. So yes you were using slutty to refer to other women.

It's not overthinking, just thinking.

LynetteScavo · 19/12/2015 14:40

Yes, YABU.

But that's what aunties do....all the inappropriate things parents wouldn't, and kids love it.

Hope you feed them chocolate buttons too.

Original poster

DyslexicScientist · 19/12/2015 14:41

Saying some woman isn't something, doesn't mean I think other women are, I could be thinking some man is. That's just silly bringing the sex into it just because I'm talking about one woman.

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BackforGood · 19/12/2015 14:50

I'm with your sister. YWBU. I don't watch the music channels, but the little I've seen is certainly not appropriate viewing for small children. Nor does having 'background TV on all the time do them any good either.

Ohbehave1 · 19/12/2015 15:17

I'm with your sister. YWBU. I don't watch the music channels, but the little I've seen is certainly not appropriate viewing for small children. Nor does having 'background TV on all the time do them any good either.

Ha ha ha. As Bill Bailey says "Speaking as a mother".

If you don't watch them then what makes you able to comment? Based on the little you have seen you may have seen the worst that there is and nothing else. I bet you also watch things on iplayer just so you can complain even though you would never watch a specific program in the first place.

BackforGood · 19/12/2015 15:26

Yup - I might have seen the worst, and I might have seen the mildest - I obviously have no idea, but clearly there is enough content there that isn't suitable, so I wouldn't be showing them to tiny children. Same as you could sit through a film with '12' or '15' rating and a lot of it is inoffensive - quite often there's just one small part of the film that's given it that rating, but I certainly wouldn't play the film for a 4 and 2 yr old. It's just common sense, surely.

Er - your las sentences is your own fantasy I'm afraid.

passmethewineplease · 19/12/2015 15:40

Hmm depends. Not all music videos feature women in next to nothing shaking their bums and licking their lips.

The mellow music channels certainly don't have it anyway. I wouldn't be bothered about the latter, the former I might be a bit annoyed but wouldn't raise it tbh.

Ohbehave1 · 19/12/2015 15:49

Backforgood. You have confirmed my suspicions. You have seen one thing you deem as wrong so you therefore ban all of the same ilk.

Sledgehammer and nut spring to mind.

And I have just seen a bank called Babymetal on Scuzz
I bet your head would explode .......

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