To think ageism is rife on Mumsnet

[IPityThePontipines]

Any thread featuring a woman over the age of forty will feature the following comments:

Old bat,

Poisonous old hag

Shrivelled old woman

Nasty old bat

and many others.

Old women are spoken about on here as if they were Gollum's uglier sister with a personality to match.

Considering that 95% of the posters on here will be old women someday soon, it seems utterly bizarre. Where does this loathing come from?

What do you think middle aged should feel like Sandiego?

I'm over 40 and have never been called any of these names, except by myself...is that allowed?

I think MN is becoming full of the professionally offended.

It must make it a long life.

I do notice that if somebody gives a problem they're asked "can I ask what age you are OP?" which is code for the poster not knowing if they can get away with being a bit condescending but basically kind (?) and a bit elder lemon here's my wisdom, or short sharp shrift are you ever going to learn.

and age is relevant to the advice sometimes.

I didn't think it would be too long before someone tried to shut down concerns about this by referring to the professionally offended.

I think MN is becoming full of the professionally offended.
I knew it

Flo, don't know.

I feel the same as I did at 25/35/40, don't know how to describe that either 😉.

It's a state of mind, age is just a number, etc, cliches but true.

I've noticed a kind of generational value/ priorities system. For instance it's assumed women will prioritise their children over their parents .
Also when people talk of cutting relatives (often parents) out of their life the acronym NC is used, I've gone NC with my mother. It's a bit like saying I've gone paperless, I've gone veggie- it nearly sounds virtuous. I feel this trivialises the very considerable pain that is caused in these situations. Sure some parents are toxic and ultimately just need t be avoided, but maybe it's a bit easy to label them and move on.
Just think ladies, a couple of decades on we could be on Gransnet, and our kids on mumsnet dishing the dirt!I'm 49 btw.

what did you know flo?

whataboutbob I agree but what do I know. I'm old.

Middle-aged is a hard one though because although you might be physically middle aged is often used as a short hand for living a bland, beige sort of life - which I think not many people actually do (or ever have).

I think it's a hang up on how one felt the older generation were and that's why people say they're not like that.

Also aren't people 'younger' at their age then previous generations? My mother feels much younger than her grandmother (born in the Victorian age) was at 60. That could be perception but could also be a physical fact due to nutrition and medicine.

Well ssd I said this on the previous page:
And if you call them on it, expect to be told you're being sanctimonious or professionally offended.

And look, 30 minutes later, here you are.

As long as you say you are younger than the last generation, you are part of the problem. Whatever you feel, your body is the biological age it is, unless you have a form of body dysmorpia (spelling?) I can't see why people don't just embrace their being middle-aged or old.

It's nothing to do with embracing it or otherwise.
It's about the casual insults which are still all too common here.

I've noticed that MN has an attitude to young women. If they're having relationship problems, the question 'you sound young' seems designed to insult and diminish their perspective. And the choice to settle down and have a baby before the age of about thirty is always, always considered wrong. Unless people in their twenties are doing all the things the average mumsnetter feels nostalgic about or never got to do themselves, (travelling somewhere, anywhere!, going out, just out! etc) they are needy. Yet some of the younger mums who post sound much more mature than some of the older posters will ever be.

well you obviously know everything flo so I'll leave you to it

The insults come from baby boomers about themselves and those older than them. Talk of being able to work, exercise and wear nice clothes than older generations. These choices were not available before to the e tent they are now for others. As long as you put other old people or middle-aged people down you are part of the problem.

The threads in question often follow a depressingly predictable pattern. Someone takes issue with someone in a public place by identifying them as for example "this woman in her 50s". After a few posts terms like the ones quoted in the OP are flying about.

You're not offended are you ssd?

Lighten up, where's your sense of humour etc

I've seen it quite a lot where the poster in young as well. I think it's only acceptable to be 25-35 to some people
Ageism in any form is really horrible and happens everywhere.

I've noticed far more ageism towards young people. But it is probably just people not aware of how different the world is different for young people these days.

you're hilarious flo and your use of the wee are really great.

happy now?

The insults come from baby boomers about themselves and those older than them. Talk of being able to work, exercise and wear nice clothes than older generations. These choices were not available before to the e tent they are now for others. As long as you put other old people or middle-aged people down you are part of the problem.

I think boomers ate the most ageist, towards people older and younger then them. But oddly boomers are the first to cry agism if someone is agist towards them.

'Bitter' is often used to mean old and unattractive. And this is mostly used by posters I know to be very young. But yesterdays insult against the old bags was breathtaking: "bitter, prune-faced man-haters" . Written by somebody I believe to be a woman.

The use of the word boomers as an opportunity to sneer and insult has been very interesting over the past year.