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Original poster

To think ageism is rife on Mumsnet

99 replies

IPityThePontipines · 16/12/2015 23:21

Any thread featuring a woman over the age of forty will feature the following comments:

Old bat,

Poisonous old hag

Shrivelled old woman

Nasty old bat

and many others.

Old women are spoken about on here as if they were Gollum's uglier sister with a personality to match.

Considering that 95% of the posters on here will be old women someday soon, it seems utterly bizarre. Where does this loathing come from?

OP posts:
Senpai · 17/12/2015 02:51

I wouldn't classify it as ageism. It seems like another way to refer to someone in a derogatory way, since they're older age is a thing they latch onto.

I don't see it as much different than "Cheeky Mare" "Dumb Cow" "Cocklodger", those are arguably sexist terms to refer to someone.

Or "Stupid git" could be argued as disablist since it's insulting intelligence.

To be fair though, there's not really a PC way to insult someone. Some people deserve to be insulted. Socially unaware elders who insist on glaring instead of using their words tend to fall into that category.

Obloquy · 17/12/2015 03:33

Yes, and I also notice young mothers sometimes get treated harshly on here.

Dollymixtureyumyum · 17/12/2015 04:36

I think disabilism is not challenged enough as well. Just been in the strickly come dancing Facebook page (sad I know) and the word "cretin" is being thrown around. It made me laugh thought that one poster who obviously has a background with working with disabilities or she has personal experience has very politely asked people to think what the word means before using it and she has a reply from a "lady" saying "don't insult my intelligence by telling me what I can and can't say you cretin"
I don't know anyone else but I did judge her intelligence quite badly

Dollymixtureyumyum · 17/12/2015 04:38

Though I must admit do not often see disabilist terms on here and if they are they are challenged very quickly.

Floisme · 17/12/2015 07:08

I agree you see some shocking attitudes on here. And if you call them on it, expect to be told you're being sanctimonious or professionally offended.

I particularly hate 'He/she was born old' and 'Old age is just a state of mind' as if getting old was due to some kind of moral inadequacy.

Yes young people are frequently patronised too.

derxa · 17/12/2015 07:22

Have a look at the over 50s thread. We're mainly all quite cheerful. I think it's the use of the word 'old' that's a bit Shock. The other thing is where someone is talking about a MIL as if she is on her last legs and we discover she's 51. What's that all about?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/12/2015 07:28

I'm 47, I don't consider myself 'old'.

If I do see 'silly old hag' or 'daft old bat' I also see it's usually written by a poster who is proving themselves to be a twat.

SurferJet · 17/12/2015 07:33

Hmm .....well I'm probably a bit guilty of this myself ( despite being 48 ! )
The Madonna thing, yes, at pushing 60 you shouldn't be jumping around half naked like a teenager, you just look ridiculous. But I think the same way about Rod Stewart, Mick Jagger etc.

derxa · 17/12/2015 07:33

I'm 56 and certainly don't think of myself as old. Where I come from being old is an achievement e.g. my 92 year old father lived life to the full and had friends of all ages. People might have called him an 'old bugger' but it was a term of affection not disdain.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/12/2015 07:37

Sadly there are lots of stupid mouthy and ignorant people on MN who are very opinionated.

Floisme · 17/12/2015 07:37

You can challenge the insults - provided you don't care if some knobhead tells you you've no sense of humour; there'll probably be one turning up here any minute.

But the underlying attitudes are much harder to deal with and I find them more depressing.

I didn't know there was an over 50s thread - where? Smile

howtorebuild · 17/12/2015 07:38

I think there are just so many due to the baby boom, you are an intimidating group who get to dictate to other age groups including the government we have.

Floisme · 17/12/2015 07:40

So you wouldn't mind us if only we knew our place and kept quiet?

howtorebuild · 17/12/2015 07:42

As for denial of acceptance of being old, it's not helping matters.

howtorebuild · 17/12/2015 07:43

Know your place? Your words, that's your stuff to deal with.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/12/2015 07:47

howto what?

Denial of acceptance of being old.

What are you going on about?

CombineBananaFister · 17/12/2015 07:50

I honestly haven't come across any threads where this has happened yet (thankfully) but don't doubt it exists seeing as we're obsessed with youth/appearance over knowledge/experience Sad

With regards to the Madonna and Mick Jagger type situations though I think comments are about people acting foolish, just as you'd comment on Miley Cyrus. It's not just an age thing

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/12/2015 07:50

Just so many due to the baby boom

So many of who?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/12/2015 07:51

Just so many due to the baby boom

Who are you referring to?

WeThreeMythicalKings · 17/12/2015 07:53

YANBU. A few months ago HQ said they were going to address this but I've seen precious little evidence of it.

Floisme · 17/12/2015 07:53

I don't think it's just 'my stuff' howtobuild. I'm noticing that attitude a lot and from talking to friends my age, I'm not the only one.

I agree with you about people being in denial though. The number of people on these boards who are mid 40s but insist they're not middle aged really makes me laugh

Footle · 17/12/2015 07:54

A thread about leaving MIL out of Christmas , in which another poster thought this reasonable if the MIL is a poisonous old hag.
I asked if POHs were previously PYHs.
TAAT and all that.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/12/2015 07:58

Assuming we carry on living til 80/90 (old age in my book) 40 onwards is middle age (in my book).

I don't feel it though.

SurferJet · 17/12/2015 07:58

45 is defo middle age.

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