Are school out of order or am IBU?

[ontheedgeofnewdawn]

School are having a non uniform day tomorrow to raise funds for children in the borough in poverty to have Christmas gifts. Great cause.

However the year head has said today than any child who comes in their own clothes but doesn't bring a donation will spend the day in isolation.

So if you are too poor to afford the donation you have to come in uniform so everybody knows your too poor, give money you cannot afford so your kids aren't embarrassed (some people have multiple children in school) or spend the day in isolation because you are too poor to pay the donation to another child in poverty?

I can pay the donation personally but I am feeling rather angry about it.

The problem with whats been said by your DC is the words are possibly without context. It may well have been badly phrased but is it possible that any jest has been lost in translation?

My eldests tutor said to his form group that if mobile phones came out in her lessons the next time owners saw them would be on eBay.

She was obviously to me, joking with themto get the message across that phones shouldn't be used in lessons. To Autistic DS she was braking laws and he was off to higher authorities to have her dealt with. An unfortunate incident but shes a great tutor and we're all human and make statements that can be wrongly interpreted, especially by those who take language very litterally.

This has got to be worth raising with the school as it has caused upset.

Please complain about this in writing both to the school and the governors. I would kick the head's arse on your behalf if I heard this (I'm a governor). Simply not on.

Really not on op- agree with all others

this reminds me of the time one of my children (secondary school) had some kind of mufti day, cant remember exactly what it was, Anyway, they were all supposed to pay £1. Some did, some didn't (we paid). My child then comes home saying that another 20p has to be paid the next day by everyone to make up the money that the non payers didn't bring in the first time round.

I said this was ridiculous and we got into an argument over it with me accusing him of lying and just trying to get more money to buy sweets/whatever because a teacher would never make such a silly suggestion. I even called the school just to confirm as I was so cross with him for lying to me. The receptionist confirmed that a teachers wouldn't have said that but would pass the message on to the teacher anyway.

Of course, the teacher rings me back a few days later and said that yes, the story was, true, she had asked the boys who had paid their £1 to bring in another 20p in order to make the non paying boys feel bad about coming to school in non uniform but not bothering to pay. I was too shocked for words and has some serious apologising to do to my child!

WHAT THE FUCK?

Sorry for the caps but seriously?! That is FUCKING awful.

The middlespawn had a festive sweater day a week or so back. His school do 'bring a tin' instead of charging. They take a tin or packet or something like that in and it either goes to the tombola stash for school fairs or into the boxes for the food bank/harvest boxes. It also means that even people on a very limited income can usually find a way to contribute.

My DC's school is having a 'Christmas jumper' day tomorrow. Neither of them own a Christmas jumper; I didn't want them to feel left out so I ended up buying them each a new jumper so they could join in. Which is fine for me, although annoying, but it astonishes me that schools just assume everyone has these things already or can afford to buy them on the spur of the moment. Especially as I've worked in schools where we routinely had to buy kids shoes, bags and basic equipment. So no, you ANBU.

that school. bloodyy ridiculous. first sen then poor children. twats.

Someone said only about 25% pupils in their school donated on non-uniform day. Well, perhaps it is just not a good fundraiser then? Why get all het up and start punishing kids for not complying? If your aim is to fundraise then find another way, or accept not everyone will donate, or just have a free non-uniform day for the fun of it.

Yes it is the Tangle teacher.
I had words over that. As far as I know nothing has happened since in relation to that and I'm unaware of their removal however my dc will no longer take their tangle to school in case the teacher takes it so the damage is done.

The thing is in regards to non uniform its not always the free school meals that are struggling. I work but there have been times that we would have to chose between a donation and bread or milk.

I like to see them try! By LAW school cannot demand cash because we pay it in taxes. (I think that is also the law in the UK, sorry I I'm wrong) I don't pay on principal because we pay £20 a day on taxi fares to get the elder two to school and back. I am sending them in casual clothes (dont own Chistmas jumpers and won't buy them) and they can't stop me!

I would imagine it's just a scare tactic to get as many children who can pay to pay.

people like my husband and i are seen as big earners (well, just by husband) but we have lots of children and zero benefits. School dont know that though so I know they think we are being mean when we refuse to contribute to things like this and food banks (ketchup - urgently needed!)

My ds's (who have AS) hate dress up days with a passion. It causes them major anxiety and they will refuse to participate because "the rule is you wear a school uniform to school". They will also refuse to give a donation anyway because "that is for wearing a Christmas jumper and I haven't". We don't force them but I would be very angry if they were punished because of lack of participation.

Hahaha onein8!!! Your boys are hilarious insisting on sticking to the rules!! Must be Like living with 2 little OAPs!!

I'd be tempted to rally the parents and make sure NO ONE goes in their own clothes.

Stick the whole school in isolation!!

Alternatively get a big envelope and pass it around before class goes in. How would the school know who'd contributed and who hadn't - punish all or non!

Play - children with AS tend to follow rules. I'm sure that Oneineight will explain in more detail if you want to learn more about the condition but it is not 'hilarious' nor are they like 'little OAPs' (whatever the hell that actually means)

Unacceptable- complain.

I don't think there's any need to have a go is there chenjin? Which bit is offensive (assume Ive said something to offend you as your post sounds a bit aggressive) I do find it funny (as in haha) that her little boys like to follow the rules as it the total opposite of mine. What a bloody shitty start to the day! Would you reply to me like that in real life??

Sorry Onein8 - I didn't log the part about it causing your small boys anxiety - or that they had a disorder. I just thought it sounded like a cute part of their personalities. I apologise if I sounded stupid or rude

Believe you me Playnicely it is neither hilarious for them, their teachers or dh and I! The run up to Christmas is a nightmare for many children with an ASD because of all the changes to routine which escalates anxiety.

Cross posted - playnicely Apology accepted.

If this were a feelgood film, the entire school would go in uniform that day ...

Thank you