"I didn't know you were Jewish!!!"

[Kappin]

This happened in the office this morning. My surname isn't 'Jewish' as my husband isn't. When discussing weekend events I happened to mention it was Hannukah, cue stunned disbelief from everyone in the nearby vicinity "I didn't know!", "you don't look Jewish!", "how are you Jewish" and even "ah so that's why you've got so much money at your age!". Has anyone else found this? It's resulted in that reaction a few times before in different situations but never before have I really questioned why.

[aginghippy]

Here is a 2013 Institute of Jewish Policy Research report that estimates the Jewish population of Scotland at 6,262. The majority of those Jewish people live in the Glasgow region especially East Renfrewshire.

[EssentialHummus]

I've only encountered anti-semitism once, from a waiter in Paris, of all people.

I'm not very religious - I tend to "do" High Holidays only - and the oddest reactions I've had were from two colleagues at the law firm I worked at.

One was my line manager. When I asked for a day off for Rosh Hashanah, his reply was, "Of course. Please pray for me and my family."

I don't ordinarily pray, and didn't know a thing about his family (who I was now worried about if they needed praying for), so this thoroughly weirded me out.

The other bloke was a lovely but quite devout Coptic Christian, who subsequently emailed and IM'ed me several times a day to engage in theological debate.

I don't want to be a representative of The Jewish People, because I feel I'm far too lax and let the side down.

[TheTravellingLemon]

museumum there's a biggish community around Glasgow and a small one around Edinburgh. About 6 thousand in total I think.

[DrDreReturns]

attend any Jewish function and you will not leave hungry
I've been to a Jewish wedding. It's the only wedding I've attended where you didn't have to pay at the bar (all drinks were free). It was very generous.
I used to live with the guy who was getting married, he wasn't 'tight' at all though he kept a close watch on his finances.
I too thought the reputation for Jewish people having loads of money came from when they were the group predominately involved in lending money (other religious / ethnic groups were / are prohibited from doing it).

[Doublebubblebubble]

you don't look Jewish

[Bigbiscuits]

Is it just me that is concerned about the number of posts giving opinions about the tightness or generosity of random Jews they have met.

How is that acceptable?

Am I being judged on a generosity / tightness scale everyone I have a social interaction with someone for whom I am the only token Jew they have met?

[TheTravellingLemon]

Bigbiscuits do you feel you are being judged on those?

I certainly have felt that way. The truth is, I am the only Jew that some people have ever met and most people know about the stereotypes. I have frequently found myself being overly generous just in case.

I think it's only natural for people to discuss how their real life experiences have differed from the stereotypes. To ignore that implies there's no stereotypes, which imo is dangerous.

[Bigbiscuits]

Autteridiot, the travelling lemon,

It's just really weird. I don't remember how generous or not random people from other minorities I have worked with / had a drink with in the past decade were.

But somehow so many posters seem to remember. So I guess that I must be judged. And someone who I had a coffee with three years ago is recounting the story of how the Jew paid for everyone to have a Starbucks after work three years ago.

[Bigbiscuits]

I paid for a school mums coffee yesterday. We were both at the counter at a softplay with our DC.

it just seemed a normal thing to do as we were both having the same thing and I had already taken my purse out.

Do you think this is going to her "I knew a Jew who paid" story?

[TheTravellingLemon]

Bigbiscuits i agree it's not a pleasant stereotype, but it does exist. Talking about it openly is more helpful than not. Most people are genuinely interested and that's fine by me, though not for everyone I admit.

[LumelaMme]

Is it just me that is concerned about the number of posts giving opinions about the tightness or generosity of random Jews they have met.
All I was trying to say was that I have known/still know a lot of Jews and meanness is not a trait I associated with any of them. As a consequence the 'stingy' stereotype really baffles me: possibly it's the contrast between the (still unpleasantly prevalent) stereotype and the reality that makes people remember Jewish generosity.

[LumelaMme]

Also meant to say, Big, I'm sorry that you feel got at and judged.

[Bigbiscuits]

I don't really feel got at and judged.

I supposed just bewildered that a normal daily interaction (like buying yesterday's school mum a coffee) may be repeated as a noteworthy event in three years time when this subject crops up.

[TheTravellingLemon]

That's why it's important to talk about it and why I never mind people asking me questions, even if some people might find them offensive. I want to live in a time where interaction with a jew isn't noteworthy in any way, but we're not there yet.

[DeoGratias]

We are all examples to others. I am what an atheist feminist looks like. I am what a white woman looks like. I am a mother. Every day what we do reflects on our families and our wider groups. There is nothing wrong with that. it is why most atheists and religious people across the globe at least in part seek to behave well. We are all known by our deeds, not our words. Same with our children - it is how we conduct our lives which is the example to them not our words.

It is particularly important with children to make sure they see all of us trying to treat everyone fairly an equally. One of the nicest things my parents gave to us wasn't any of the material things but their mores, their treatment of others on an equal and fair basis, both men and women, their feminism, their lack of raciail, their lack of religious intolerance. If we can all pass that down and treat others as we would be treated so much the better.

[PastaLaFeasta]

I find anti semitism perplexing, even reading the history I don't understand the level of hatred, except perhaps jealously - the Jewish communities seemed to really look after their people and support each other - maybe this us why they've done well and are statistically much better off than other racial/religious groups and something we should learn from. I'm sure most people in the UK have no negative judgement and it's mostly ignorance, people say stupid things all the time and it's good to point out where they've over stepped the mark. I've never heard any negative stereotyping in RL, I do recall being surprised about two school mates who told me they were Jewish, I knew them for a while but teenagers tend not to talk about religion much.

My DH has Jewish heritage but it was hidden by his grandad who changed the family name and married out, our family name should be a very Jewish one. I wonder if he changed it due to antiseminitism or due to marrying out and disowning his family. DH's family were very Christian instead, although the marrying out takes away the Jewish dependency anyway.

Some pp have indicated ignorant CoE people, I'd suggest the majority of the UK are not actively religious and as a Christian I'd see antiseminitism (or any bigotry in my opinion) as against the teachings, Jesus was a Jew and we share a holy text. People are quick to tar CoE Christians in a way that would be jumped on if it was another religion.

[OnlyLovers]

ah so that's why you've got so much money at your age!

The others just sound like justified surprise or curiosity but that is OUTRAGEOUS.

[knobblyknee]

YANBU. The comments were anti Semetic and stupid.

[2ndSopranosRule]

I was raised Jewish. I'm firmly non-practising now, my surname isn't Jewish and I'm pretty sure I don't look Jewish.

The anti-Semitism I've encountered through my life is astounding and as a consequence, I don't tell many people about my upbringing.

[Devora]

I also get this (even though my name is a pretty big give-away). I have had some antisemitic responses. More often, though, I find people can romanticise Jews (I think there's been some examples on this thread, tbh). One woman told me she regularly visits a Jewish cemetary in order to, "sit on the tombstones and weep for the tragedy of your people" .

I too seem to have missed the cheque from the Chief Rabbi. I think I've been too busy planning world domination.

[TheTravellingLemon]

"sit on the tombstones and weep for the tragedy of your people"

What? Just...what?? And she does this regularly? I have nodded along to a lot of experiences on this thread, but this is just completely bonkers.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

Tombstones woman is the type of person who claims she can sympathise with people's various tragedies as she 'was a Roman soldier/ Egyptian slave/Himalayan yak herder in a past life' so understands their pain.