"I didn't know you were Jewish!!!"

[Kappin]

This happened in the office this morning. My surname isn't 'Jewish' as my husband isn't. When discussing weekend events I happened to mention it was Hannukah, cue stunned disbelief from everyone in the nearby vicinity "I didn't know!", "you don't look Jewish!", "how are you Jewish" and even "ah so that's why you've got so much money at your age!". Has anyone else found this? It's resulted in that reaction a few times before in different situations but never before have I really questioned why.

[scarlets]

Some crazy stories on here. Nowt so queer as folk. I suppose that some of them were trying to be nice though . The office email one was appalling, and HR should've known better!

[Sallyingforth]

The money comment would piss me off, although not as much as the guy who insisted I should feel guilty for "killing Jesus"
I hope you reminded him that Jesus was Jewish.

[80schild]

The "wealthy" stereotype comes from the fact that Judaism is big on education which means the Jewish race is on balance more financially successful than average. Quite frankly if that is a prejudice
people have I'm happy to go along with it and explain why (I am married to a Jewish man).

My first job ever was with a Jewish firm and they were amazing people. They really engaged with my curiosity about their faith and didn't see it as negative that i wanted to learn about it. I just wish more people could be like they were, genuinely kind and interesting - since then my experiences have been mixed at best.

[DeoGratias]

My daughters had that. All our 5 children have old testatment names amd we live in North London.

The bottom line is no one should say rude things about other people.

[miaowmix]

The money thing is uber offensive. Everything else - maybe curiosity?
I'm only Jew... ish - as in my dad is, so obviously my family on that side are, but non-practising for generations.
I do kind of look quite Jewish though, there can be a look. It is a race and a religion. We're all very dark and olive skinned on my dad's side.

[Twinkie1]

DH looks v Jewish, our kids have names which are common for Jewish children and I don't eat pork. I actually had someone exclaim 'There, I knew you were Jewish' when I mentioned DS was being circumcised (for medical reasons).

We're not, it was quite funny

[KateReddy]

How ignorant!

I had the opposite when I lived in North London. I have an Old Testament name, as does DH and we lived in a 'Jewish area', many people assumed I was.

[biggles50]

That is very rude of them. I had a Jewish fiancé many years ago. I'd be shocked at some of the anti semitic jokes and comments. Next time they say something don't tough it out "you don't look racist/anti semitic/bitchy/stupid" hangs in air.

[claig]

Seinfeld is great, the best

[pilpiloni]

That reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where he suspects his friend has converted to Judaism just so he can tell Jewish jokes.

[ciele]

Just to add my (stingy) two pence worth-yes I feel judged on my generosity cos I have heard 'Jew' used to equate with meanness throughout my life.
I don't think people realise how offensive this is. So I go on the defensive and am probably too generous.
But I am also very careful with money-probably my upbringing.
And yes, we Jews can tell Jewish jokes with impunity, but I'm afraid no-one else can.

[MitzyLeFrouf]

I'd love to have seen the course tutor's face!

[Devora]

Mitzy, my dp was once on a biography-writing course where they had to go round in a circle describing their projects. One woman said she was writing a book about Ruskin's wife. When asked what research sources she was using, she said she didn't need any as she had herself in fact been Mrs Ruskin in a previous life

[MitzyLeFrouf]

Tombstones woman is the type of person who claims she can sympathise with people's various tragedies as she 'was a Roman soldier/ Egyptian slave/Himalayan yak herder in a past life' so understands their pain.

[TheTravellingLemon]

"sit on the tombstones and weep for the tragedy of your people"

What? Just...what?? And she does this regularly? I have nodded along to a lot of experiences on this thread, but this is just completely bonkers.

[Devora]

I also get this (even though my name is a pretty big give-away). I have had some antisemitic responses. More often, though, I find people can romanticise Jews (I think there's been some examples on this thread, tbh). One woman told me she regularly visits a Jewish cemetary in order to, "sit on the tombstones and weep for the tragedy of your people" .

I too seem to have missed the cheque from the Chief Rabbi. I think I've been too busy planning world domination.

[2ndSopranosRule]

I was raised Jewish. I'm firmly non-practising now, my surname isn't Jewish and I'm pretty sure I don't look Jewish.

The anti-Semitism I've encountered through my life is astounding and as a consequence, I don't tell many people about my upbringing.

[knobblyknee]

YANBU. The comments were anti Semetic and stupid.

[OnlyLovers]

ah so that's why you've got so much money at your age!

The others just sound like justified surprise or curiosity but that is OUTRAGEOUS.

[PastaLaFeasta]

I find anti semitism perplexing, even reading the history I don't understand the level of hatred, except perhaps jealously - the Jewish communities seemed to really look after their people and support each other - maybe this us why they've done well and are statistically much better off than other racial/religious groups and something we should learn from. I'm sure most people in the UK have no negative judgement and it's mostly ignorance, people say stupid things all the time and it's good to point out where they've over stepped the mark. I've never heard any negative stereotyping in RL, I do recall being surprised about two school mates who told me they were Jewish, I knew them for a while but teenagers tend not to talk about religion much.

My DH has Jewish heritage but it was hidden by his grandad who changed the family name and married out, our family name should be a very Jewish one. I wonder if he changed it due to antiseminitism or due to marrying out and disowning his family. DH's family were very Christian instead, although the marrying out takes away the Jewish dependency anyway.

Some pp have indicated ignorant CoE people, I'd suggest the majority of the UK are not actively religious and as a Christian I'd see antiseminitism (or any bigotry in my opinion) as against the teachings, Jesus was a Jew and we share a holy text. People are quick to tar CoE Christians in a way that would be jumped on if it was another religion.

[DeoGratias]

We are all examples to others. I am what an atheist feminist looks like. I am what a white woman looks like. I am a mother. Every day what we do reflects on our families and our wider groups. There is nothing wrong with that. it is why most atheists and religious people across the globe at least in part seek to behave well. We are all known by our deeds, not our words. Same with our children - it is how we conduct our lives which is the example to them not our words.

It is particularly important with children to make sure they see all of us trying to treat everyone fairly an equally. One of the nicest things my parents gave to us wasn't any of the material things but their mores, their treatment of others on an equal and fair basis, both men and women, their feminism, their lack of raciail, their lack of religious intolerance. If we can all pass that down and treat others as we would be treated so much the better.

[TheTravellingLemon]

That's why it's important to talk about it and why I never mind people asking me questions, even if some people might find them offensive. I want to live in a time where interaction with a jew isn't noteworthy in any way, but we're not there yet.

[Bigbiscuits]

I don't really feel got at and judged.

I supposed just bewildered that a normal daily interaction (like buying yesterday's school mum a coffee) may be repeated as a noteworthy event in three years time when this subject crops up.

[LumelaMme]

Also meant to say, Big, I'm sorry that you feel got at and judged.