This happened in the office this morning. My surname isn't 'Jewish' as my husband isn't. When discussing weekend events I happened to mention it was Hannukah, cue stunned disbelief from everyone in the nearby vicinity "I didn't know!", "you don't look Jewish!", "how are you Jewish" and even "ah so that's why you've got so much money at your age!". Has anyone else found this? It's resulted in that reaction a few times before in different situations but never before have I really questioned why.
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JeSuisUnaStubbs ·
14/12/2015 13:24
I'm fascinated by Jewish culture. I use lots of 'Jewish' words because I think they're just brilliant words. I read a lot of David Baddiel books, repeatedly. I daydream about being Jewish and wish I was one. I suspect I may have been Jewish in a previous life 
Despite all this, nobody ever assumes I'm Jewish, which is a little disappointing for me really. Oy vey.
LBOCS2 ·
14/12/2015 13:32
If someone I worked with mentioned a fact about themselves I wasn't aware of, I would be likely to respond in 'oh, I didn't know that about you' way - and in this situation possibly even ask in what way they were Jewish (I.e by race or religion or both) as I think it's a question relative to the discussion. But that's as much as anything because I don't know things like that about the people around me because it makes no difference to me what race or religion someone is and so it would just be another interesting fact about them - much like if someone had told me five generations of women in their family had been left handed, or shared a birthday, or had a funny big toe (like in mine ). I would file it under 'showing an interest'.
The money comment is extremely out of order though.
Boomingmarvellous ·
14/12/2015 13:44
Not my stereotype tatty! But clearly those people in the OPs office.
I find the whole Jewish thing very romantic and quite beautiful. All that history and deeply significant ceremonies. I always think Jewish and then see a Caravaggio painting with flickering candlelight!
WoodHeaven ·
14/12/2015 13:44
The thing is if being a Jew is a race them you would expect them to have some racial features common between them. And then again it makes sense to say 'oh you don't look Jewish'
The problem is that unfortunately, the idea of what 'a Jew' looks like is somehow so far from reality that it doesnt bear any remote resemblance to what it actually is. I suspect it has more to do with very traditional clothing rather than physical features
Fwiw, my mum has been mistaken for being English numerous times (we have no English ancestors in the family at all) with people coming to speak to her with relief (Finally someone who will understand me!) My mum doesn't speak English
Garlick ·
14/12/2015 13:48
People are just fucking dumb, aren't they?!
Nothing to do with religion or race: I get "you don't look disabled" all the bloody time - sometimes accompanied by "but at least you get loads of money from the state", which goes down about as well as your Jewish/money comment.
I live in a rural market town. There's a seminary school here (whatever the correct term might be) for Hasidic kids. Whenever they're in town, people talk about them for hours afterwards saying stuff like how cute they look with their caps & ringlets, in a laughing sort of way to show they're not being prejudiced 
My first year here, I was horrified! It's in the same bracket as "little brown babies".
Some battles aren't worth fighting, though.
ChazsBrilliantAttitude ·
14/12/2015 13:50
I think the money comment was awful.
I would even be a bit about the look Jewish comment. Is there a specific jewish look (outside of some of the visable Haredi communities?)
I get told my DC look like me. I am from an Irish Catholic background and the DC are half North African and Muslim. Is there a particular look they should have?
CordeliaFrost ·
14/12/2015 13:54
I've had general surprise from people, after they've learnt I'm Jewish, and that's fine.
However there have been a handful of occasions where that surprise has led to the other individual/s making stereotypical comments.
I remember a conversation with a former colleague (three years ago now), where after learning of my (and my DH's*) Jewishness he said, "ah that explains a lot then." When I asked him what I meant, he tried to brush it off by saying, "you know what, never mind, just forget I said it." However I asked again, and that time he said he had wondered how DH and I were able to live in the home we did, "and lead what appears to be, a very comfortable life," when we were only in our mid-to-late-20s. He concluding by saying, "but now I know, because we all know that Jews are good with money." 
- He had asked, "and your husband too?"
I reported it of course, but the entire conversation had taken place at, where else, the office's 'Christmas party'. He told HR he had been a 'bit tipsy', and was 'horrified' to learn of his comments, and that he would never have said such things if he hadn't have been 'tipsy'. He was asked to apologise but that was it.
FeliciaJollygoodfellow ·
14/12/2015 14:06
'Stealth Jew' is brilliant!
I'm not Jewish but I grew up in a very Jewish area. I think comments like the money one are anti-Semitic and saying you're 'not using it offensively' or whatever is no excuse. Just like it's no excuse to use Paki as actually, it's just the shortening of the word Pakistani.
My dad is Fucking awful for this type of comment, I challenge him every single time but for him, he genuinely thinks he can say what he likes because he 'doesn't mean it like that'. He is a dick though.
abbsismyhero ·
14/12/2015 14:18
my son has blond hair blue eyes very pale skin yet his blood is mediterranean (i have no idea why/how etc) the consultant testing his blood was very enthusiastic about this and wanted to do more blood tests to discover why this is the doctor was very we don't routinely jab needles into five year olds unless we absolutely have to so no we won't be doing anymore
not everyone looks like their heritage
SanityClause ·
14/12/2015 14:47
Oh dear, have you been reading Der Stuhrmer again?
Seriously, though, as a child, my parents who would not consider themselves at all racist, would make comments about Jewish noses, or whatever. The very first person I met who I knew to be Jewish, I remember making a comment about the size of his nose, to him.
Luckily, it is possible to move on from what you learnt as a child. [cringe]
LaContessaDiPlump ·
14/12/2015 14:55
I grew up in a Middle Eastern country where anybody Jewish was very careful to make no mention of the fact. If anybody mentions to me that they are Jewish these days then I tend to be surprised simply because in my head everyone is either Muslim, Christian, Hindu or Buddhist. Judaism and atheism don't make the list even though I am in fact option B
Upbringing has a lot to answer for in our immediate responses, even if we think we've refuted said upbringing.
Aeroflotgirl ·
14/12/2015 15:05
It is very stereotypical and would not be accepted for any other religion. Sounds just like something my mother would say .
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PatrickPolarBear ·
14/12/2015 17:55
Very ignorant comments. Where do you work? Offices of the Daily Mail?
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