"I didn't know you were Jewish!!!"

[Kappin]

This happened in the office this morning. My surname isn't 'Jewish' as my husband isn't. When discussing weekend events I happened to mention it was Hannukah, cue stunned disbelief from everyone in the nearby vicinity "I didn't know!", "you don't look Jewish!", "how are you Jewish" and even "ah so that's why you've got so much money at your age!". Has anyone else found this? It's resulted in that reaction a few times before in different situations but never before have I really questioned why.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

other than the money stereotype (twat) I would shrug it off

I think people tend to assume people are non religious unless they visibly demonstrate it, so its always a bit of a surprise

I wouldn't read too much into it to be honest

I am religious and very interested in other peoples religions, so I would probably say something crass purely as I am curious and love discussing it!

happy Hannukah!

[MitzyLeFrouf]

ASAS historically usury or moneylending was one of the few professions that was open to Jewish people.

[pinkdelight]

"How are you Jewish?" - could this not be in relation to whether she is practising or not? Correct me if I'm wrong, I may well be, but isn't Jewish slightly different from, say, Christianity, in that it's not just a religious thing, but a cultural/family thing too, and you can be one without the other? So "how are you Jewish?" might be a genuinely interested question as to whether she's religiously observant or just happens to be Jewish because her parents are? Whereas your parent being Christian doesn't mean you are in any form.

[EssentialHummus]

[fidel1ne]

ASAS it has long been a basic tenet of Anti-Semitic thought and propaganda that Jews control an unfair share of the available money and power in some mysterious and ill-defined way.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Protocols_of_the_Elders_of_Zion

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisemitic_canard#Accusations_of_usury_and_profiteering

[MaidOfStars]

Could the money comment be seen not anti-semitically?

IMO, never.

Hitler:
the extermination of the national folkish Jewish intelligentsia to make possible the sweating of the German working class under the yoke of Jewish world finance - is conceived only as a preliminary to the further extension of this Jewish tendency of world conquest.... If our people and our state become the victim of these blood-thirsty and avaricious Jewish tyrants of nations, the whole earth will sink into the snares of this octopus

Fraudulently attributed to Franklin:
refuse to assimilate wherever they move, are vampires who must live among Christians, will attempt to financially strangle the country, will stream into the United States in such numbers that they will take over and rule the country

Part of the "Jewish Conspiracy" is alleged control of disproportionate amounts of the world wealth.

[iklboo]

I'd probably have blurted out 'oh, I didn't know. Happy Hannukah'. Anything else is either rude or offensive - especially the money.

[museumum]

The money comment is really out of order. But the others.... I think there's a lot of confusion about Jewishness - it's not "just" a religion is it? Jews are "a people" I don't know if that makes Jews a race (I don't think so?) and I know some people are culturally Jewish but not religious.
Also my experience is that in some areas you meet very few Jews at school or work so it can be surprising to find somebody you know celebrates Hanukkah and not Christmas.

[Scaredycat3000]

I find that a certain kind of person in this country sees anything other than a polite, inherited, weddings-and-funerals-only agnostic Anglicanism as pretty odd

This is so true. Except for the certain kind is almost every practicing C of E/W person in the country. I grew up thinking the only Catholic family were odd, then I left the C of E church community and grew up. They'll tell you they're not because they know some body with a funny name and, whispers, different colour skin as they attend their church, so they can't be intolerant!

[threelittlerapscallions]

The money comment is rude.

I sometimes get surprise that I don't drink alcohol as my family are irish! Someone was quite upset I didn't have red hair too.

[CastaDiva]

ASAS, also drawing on a long tradition in literature of unpleasant stereotypes of greedy, usurious, miserly, money-obsessed/money-lending Jews - like Shylock in Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice, or Fagin the Jewish arch-criminal in Dickens' Oliver Twist, whose Jewishness and obsession with money is seen as directly related.

[Orange1969]

The money comment is absolutely dreadful - anti semitism of the kind that was peddled by the Nazis who perpetuated the offensive stereotype of Jews as greedy, tight fisted and capable of obtaining money dishonestly.

[MaidOfStars]

IIRC, Jewish people are the only population group considered both a religion and a separate ethnic group/race?

[FrancoisLaPrune]

Reminds of a situation a few years back, I was involved in car crash, nothing major but a woman drove straight into the side of me on a dual carriageway as she went to change lanes.

We pulled over to exchange details and the very first thing she said to me as I got out of the car was "oh god you're not Jewish are you?". I was a bit gobsmacked at that and wondered what difference it would have made! I am not Jewish but she clearly felt I looked it. Would she have tried to hit me harder if I had said I was? Most odd!

[MitzyLeFrouf]

That's bizarre Francois. Wonder why she asked that?

[Margay]

Jews, like Sikhs, are counted as a "racial group" under UK law - I think it's because of the matrilineal thing. There was a big court case a few years ago involving the JFS which led to the Supreme Court making the ruling.

There is a difference between being culturally jewish and religiously jewish - you can be one but not necessarily the other.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

there are unpleasant stereotypes with most religions lets face it

peados, suicide bombers, sexual repression, bigotry etc.

apart from the Buddhists, god love them!

[fidel1ne]

there are unpleasant stereotypes with most religions lets face it

I'm not really sure why you'd seek to minimize centuries of codified anti-Semitism stopfucking

[TheTravellingLemon]

I used to get this so often when j was younger, but less frequently now.

I'm not easily offended so questions etc are welcomed most of the time. A couple of times I've been really offended though.

When I was 17 I got kicked out of my boyfriend's house by his grandmother 'in case I tried to cut anything off' . I didn't know how to handle it back then, so I just went home. My mum was furious.

At work once someone said about a client's salary 'but then the Jews know how to get all the money' and everybody laughed along. I felt terrible that time too because it just showed how ingrained these stereotypes are. A room full of very well educated people and nobody saw a problem with it. I did complain. I wouldn't complain again.

[kaitlinktm]

It was the other way round for me at school. I had a surname which a lot of Jewish people have - but it is also the name of a town near where I lived then. People were always trying to explain bits of the new testament to me (where it was relevant in lessons) and asking me about kosher practices.

Funny old world isn't it?

[CastaDiva]

Stopfucking, yes, but Judaism is a race and a religion. I grew up Catholic, but do not now practice or count myself Catholic. However, Hitler didn't care whether you were an observant Jew or not, if you had some Jewish blood in your veins, you were subject to restrictions, penalties and potentially the death camps. That's not in the same universe as someone jokily implying I'm sexually repressed (or a nymphomanic) because I went to a convent school around nuns obsessed with the sixth commandment.

[fidel1ne]

I did complain. I wouldn't complain again.

Why, what happened to your complaint Lemon? It sounds awful.

[VestalVirgin]

That's bizarre Francois. Wonder why she asked that?

Maybe she had been accused of antisemitism a short time before and was worried she'd never hear the end of it if she got into a car accident with a Jew.

Or maybe she was a believer in reincarnation who thought she had been a nazi in former life, and was obsessed with a fear of falling back into old behaviour patterns.

Or she was driving a German car and was worried it might be antisemitic.

[Scaredycat3000]

there are unpleasant stereotypes with most religions lets face it
No disagree. Jewish being a race and a religion is in a different to purely your choice of which god/s to worship or not.
I don't know which religions you put with your list but my it says more about your ignorance stopfucking than anything else, even the Buddhist comment.

[TheTravellingLemon]

fidel1ne it was just so awkward. They were asked to apologise by HR. Then HR came back to me and asked whether just the person who said it could apologise. Fine. Then, could she do it over email instead of face to face?

I said yes because I didn't really have a choice. I got an email for the lady who said it 'if I'd known you were Jewish, I wouldn't have said it'. Like it was just inappropriately timed rather than wrong. Then I got an email from HR checking I was satisfied.

I'm sure a procedure was followed, but the whole thing was very humiliating and I wouldn't do it again.