Hi
One of my good friends lives in the street opposite ours and we have known each other for about 13 years now. She was over the other evening and as she was leaving the conversation for some reason turned to the fact that my ds (just turned 14 in November) has the smallest room in the house (he was the first of our 3 dc to get his own bedroom and got the smallest room). I said I had offered him the attic (where dh and I sleep) but that he had said no. My neighbour and dh joked about how he would need the attic when he starts bringing girls home.
I should have left it at that but I said that I didn't think that was going to happen for a while. Though he is very tall and very mature in lots of ways, he really is still a child - if a gangly and tall one. He spends quite a lot of his time at home annoying his younger sisters and has all the body language and posture of a child. Basically at 14 I think he is a child still.
My neighbour then starts contesting this so I asked her and dh when they had their first girlfriend/boyfriend. Dh of course did not answer as he is very secretive and always has been but my neighbour admitted she was a lot older than 14. She then said that my son might get an older girlfriend (to "teach" him the implication was) - I was like
that would be illegal and any possibly predatory older girlfriend would have me to deal with. She then said that he might "pay for it"
and that her husband's first sexual experience had been with a prostitute when he was a little over 14
.
Apart from the fact that I really did not need that info about her husband, and will never be able to unhear it, aibu to think that she should not have been saying that my son's first sexual experience might be with a prostitute
, let alone the fact that prostitution is basically the exploitation of women/girls who have often been coerced into doing what they are doing
?
I recognise that I may be naive and he may well sooner than I think get a "girlfriend" but would you at that age jump straight into sex, would there not be a progression - friendship, kissing etc?
In any case, aibu to think that my friend should really not have said that my son might pay someone for sex???
Can't stop thinking about what she said and wondering whether I really want to see her at all at the moment. She does have form for being tactless, when my Mum died 9 years ago following 5 years of chemotherapy she said it was "interesting" because her super healthy friend had either lived for much longer with cancer or had not died - can't remember. Implication being that my Mum had not eaten healthily enough to survive any longer than she did
.
And breathe....