Well am I ?? Sick of complete strangers making me feel like the worlds biggest arsehole on a daily basis.

[MyFriendGoo52]

I have a 14 yr old ds, a lumbering hulk of a boy. He's very out going, very lovely and he's all mine.

He also has severe Autism, because of this i'm trying my best to teach him socially acceptable behaviour, ie not standing too close to people, not hogging conversation and striking up conversation at appropriate times but time and again I have well meaning strangers making me feel bad when i'm trying to do my job !!

Basically they mean well, but are making too many allowances because of his disability. Not realising that THEY might not mind but other people often DO. And we have to allow for that.

Example today. Ds strikes conversation up with a man on a bus.

Hello, what's your name ??

Paul, says the man.

Hello Paul, my names goo boy. Can you take your hat off ??

(( ds has an obsession with bald heads ))

I turned to ds and raised an eyebrow KNOWING what was coming next. Ds ignored my dancing eyebrow and asked to touch Paul on the head.

So I intervened with 'no ds, that is not appropriate. We don't ask to touch people on the head'

Aww he's ok. Says complete stranger Paul. Don't be mean.

No, no he fecking well is not. Try telling someone who's lost their hair through cancer or having a shitter of a day that. FFS

Then onto subway, ds strikes up conversation with the guy serving. He does actually know the guy serving but he was very, very busy.

So I intervened.

No ds, this is not an appropriate time to have a chat. It's very busy. Then took his elbow to direct him back to his seat.

Subway bloke - 'Aww, he's alright, I like our chats' 😠😠😠

Try telling the 50million, glaring people in the queue that !! 😠😠😠😤

And it's just happened again.

Takeaway delivery guy.

Ds said something rude / cheeky about his appearance I interevened with don't be rude gooboy or something along those lines.

Only to be told off again !!

They don't bloody know him. He won't always be a child. When he's a 30yr old bloke I do not want him to be going round stroking people on the.head and telling them they have big noses. It's my job to discourage that but how can I when my efforts are being undermined by people ??

Doesnt help that he chooses his victims well and very rarely, gets ignored.

So, AIBU ??

And as an aside people shouldnt feel they have to put up with behaviour they arent comfortable with just because the person doing it has a disability.

What about a little laminated card? You could keep it in your pocket for times like this. Not too many words so it can be read at a glance - something like "My son has autism and he's learning about social behaviour - please help by taking my lead". Actually that wording is no good, someone else will have a better way of putting it, but you could subtly flash it if a situation like the above arises?

Even if they don't fully understand what you are asking of them, it will at least convey the message that this is something you have to deal with on a daily basis. Most people just won't get that.

Good luck, you're doing a great job x

OP I totally understand where you're coming from.

Back on page 1 rubble posted a phrase which might be good to use as a sort of catch-all? Pteranodon on this page I think is also good but it does require you to step in. Well, both of them do.

How successful have you been so far? Is the number of times he makes an inappropriate request going down?