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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to put DD in her own room yet

34 replies

Ughnotagain · 11/12/2015 23:53

DD is 6.5mo. We need to buy her a cot, she's outgrown her crib pretty much.

DH seems to be pushing to put her into her own room. I think we should make the effort to clear some space in our room to fit a cot in (which we could do). I don't really want to co-sleep with her (tried it last night and it was awful, I couldn't get comfy at all).

She's breastfed, so far sleeps pretty well (certainly compared to some other babies I know). But she still wakes a couple of times in the night, sometimes more. Her bedroom would be on a different floor and I just don't think I can be arsed getting up to go downstairs twice a night. I've gone back to work now so the more sleep I can get the better. I deal with all night wakings, most early mornings etc.

I'm not BU, am I? I don't think it's selfish to want to keep her in with us a bit longer.

OP posts:

Eminado · 11/12/2015 23:57

If you are the one doing the night wakings then you are the one who decides where she sleeps. The.End.

Trekking to another room to bf is a pain.

Trekking to another floor is a joke. I would refuse

Creiddylad · 11/12/2015 23:58

It is a very personal decision. It has to work for you. I could not have mine sleeping in our room. DS 1 went into his own room after 1 night, I found him too noisy. DD 1, I slept in her room for 3 months and then moved back in with DH.

Mmmmcake123 · 12/12/2015 00:01

Convenience all the way in this instance, why make things harder for yourself?
Explain the logistics to dh, he may just want less disturbances while he is trying to sleep but you need the best option too.

LyndaNotLinda · 12/12/2015 00:03

Eminado's right.

Original poster

Ughnotagain · 12/12/2015 00:05

Convenience is definitely where I'm at with this! Most other mums I know who bf co-sleep (at least part time if not full). I feel like having her in a cot in our room is a good middle ground.

OP posts:

rageagainsttheBIL · 12/12/2015 00:07

YANBU - although DS slept 12 hours straight the first night in his own room!

Try to find out the reasons why DH wants to make the move though - there may be something he's not telling you like he wants more sex

ZenNudist · 12/12/2015 00:07

Yep definitely keep her in your room. It's so much easier to do night wakings that way. I wouldn't be happy with my baby on a different floor.

When ds2 got too big for his crib we put up a travel cot in the smallish space in our room. Worked really well until he was a bit older and I didn't need to get up so much at night.

Eminado · 12/12/2015 00:10

I understand that he might want more sex but getting in and out of bed made it impossible for me to get back to sleep between feeds. I genuinely thought i would die of tiredness. I am all about self preservation now. In my case, no sleep ===> zero chance of sex, ever.

CassieBearRawr · 12/12/2015 00:12

I wouldn't fancy all that arsing about in the night if there was an option otherwise.

Switch to formula feed and see if he still thinks it's a good idea when he had to do some of the legwork!

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 12/12/2015 00:17

How about that you are happy to put her in the shed if that is what your Dh wants but you won't be leaving your bed to get her in the night so every time she wakes you will wake him up, he can go and get her, you will feed, once she goes to sleep then you will wake his again and he can take her back.

Problem solved! I give him 3 days before he moves her back in with you.

slicedfinger · 12/12/2015 00:33

Mumoftwo that is frankly genius!

GiddyOnZackHunt · 12/12/2015 00:37

At 6 months it should be fine for her to be in her own room. But if you feel that doesn't work for her and you then perhaps DH could sleep upstairs and leave you and her to co sleep.Perhaps build up through naps in her room to see how she settles and try a night or two if you're off over Xmas.

PiperChapstick · 12/12/2015 00:42

YANBU. When he gets up in the night to feed her he can have a say in where she sleeps.

Brioche201 · 12/12/2015 00:46

I would give it a try when you are off for a few days. With some of my DC moving to their own room helped them sleep better
It may be that you two are snoring disturbing her during the night

gamerchick · 12/12/2015 00:47

I think personally I would get a double bed for the other bedroom and co sleeping. You'll find it s lot more comfortable if it's just the two of you in the bed.

Suggest that you agree she needs her own room but you'll be going with her and see what he says

nameinlights · 12/12/2015 00:47

Don't give up on the co sleeping just yet. I thought I'd never be able to her comfy but I soon got used to it. I love co sleeping now.

Offler · 12/12/2015 00:52

DS stayed in our room until he was about 17 months. We did have ample room for the cot though.

His room is also on another floor and he was a 2-3 times a night waker and bf too. I couldn't have been going up down that many times a night!!

I must say though, once we did move him, he slept much better 😁

(DD was moved into her own room at about 4 months when she outgrew her crib, but it was a much smaller house and she was only a few metres away so night waking was not as much of issue)

DixieNormas · 12/12/2015 00:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BillBrysonsBeard · 12/12/2015 00:57

It's still early days yet.. DS is still in a cot in our room at 20 months.. and that's not going to change for a while as it's a 1 bed flat. It's great being able to see to him easily! But whatever works for you

Pollyputhtekettleon · 12/12/2015 05:59

YANBU. You can do anything you like. Just a comment from my own experience. My dd was very similar to what you describe. Slept well but a few wakening per night and I was reluctant to move her out because if that. But I bit the bullet and did. She slept through from the 3rd night and a year later still does. I think being in the same room was disturbing her.

Xenadog · 12/12/2015 06:23

I kept my DD in our room until she was 18 months and she was not BF either! I just felt better knowing she was nearby. I wouldn't put her in a different room if it was on a different floor and she's still night feeding as I think I'd probably fall down the stairs in my sleepiness!

Pythonesque · 12/12/2015 07:05

She's about the age we put ours into their own rooms, and I found it helpful as the proportion of noises they made at night that didn't need attention was increasing. However, we didn't have the extra issue of rooms on different floors.

I absolutely agree with others that if she's moved into her own room, your husband needs to do a reasonable proportion of getting up. Just possibly a separate room may help rather than hinder that process - you could agree that sometimes he gets up and deals with her (soothes her, change or whatever), and brings her to you for a feed. Rather than continuing to put your foot down, have a think about what and when would be the right time. Then open a conversation with your husband based around, when we move her this is what will need to happen ... and see how he responds. It might be that now isn't quite the right time but you could agree that it might be in another 2 or 3 months - babies change so fast, after all.

Worth trying to get the space in your room to have the choice I think. We did crib in cot from the start with ours, they were as long as we expected so only a few weeks before in cot anyhow.

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 12/12/2015 07:18

All mine (3 previous DC) have been in our room until around 2 years old. DS3 10 months will be also, it worked for us. And, as pp have said, it's a personal decision.

Original poster

Ughnotagain · 12/12/2015 08:01

I must admit he does deal with some night stuff, I feel bad saying he never does! Generally if I wake him up and say "here, you take her" he will (and did last night in fact). I tend to do it if she doesn't need feeding.

Polly, was your DD breastfed?

OP posts:

Pyjamaramadrama · 12/12/2015 08:19

Yanbu I keep ds with me until 12 months and will do the same with ds2 (6mo).

Although I have seen loads of people say that their babies slept through in their own rooms.

I wouldn't start cosleeping if she's sleeping well already. I do it as ds wakes a million times but if she's happy in her cot why bother?

On the sex issue do people not have quiet sex with their babies sleeping in the room?

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