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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep ds off school to go to a Christmas event..

19 replies

Bookeatingboy · 10/12/2015 16:00

Ds 7 has Asd, excellent attendance record. For the first time ever he has said he wants to see Santa Smile l would like to take him on a school day when it will be a lot quieter.

My head is saying no but my heart is saying yes... I'm usually the first to say no in similar situations but it's Christmas and they are on wind down already (which creates issues for him anyway)...

OP posts:
Warmworm · 10/12/2015 16:02

Well I think it's fine in your circumstances.

Sighing · 10/12/2015 16:02

YABU. A train on a school day would still most likely be fully booked (santa services generally are) plus there'd be mainly toddlers and that can be exhausting in itself (older child might be expected to wait until last etc).

weebarra · 10/12/2015 16:02

I would normally say no, but I imagine taking your son when it's busy would be horrendous, so it might be nice to do it the day before they break up for Xmas.

SalemSaberhagen · 10/12/2015 16:02

I would do it without a second thought. Have fun!

TeenAndTween · 10/12/2015 16:03

Usually I would say YABU, but with the ASD, maybe not. It may actually be good for him to be away from the stress of non-routine stuff?

Would he need to be out for the whole day, or maybe just the afternoon after registration?

Have the school been really good in accommodating him in any upcoming nativity? They might be a bit annoyed if you then randomly took him out thus missing rehearsals.

mmgirish · 10/12/2015 16:09

If I wasn't a teacher (who worked at the same school as my son....) I would definitely keep him off for a rare special day. That's what he will remember when he is older.

averythinline · 10/12/2015 16:09

go for it- if he's expressed an interest - then I would could you do a half day - say he's got an appointment in the afternoon so hes there for registration ? I've done that for ds before - would have though early afternoon when small ones napping etc maybe the quietest time..
but would phone the attraction and ask when is the quietest and go with that... I would not hesitate - he has years at school [santa] more important at 7

CrohnicallyAspie · 10/12/2015 16:12

You could also ask the attraction if they can make any adjustments for you (such as being given a specific time to see Santa instead of having to queue up)

Keeptrudging · 10/12/2015 16:14

Yes, do it - this is such a tricky time of year for children with ASD . It's lovely that he wants to do this, as long as he's not going to find it tricky understanding that this is a one - off.

TaliZorah · 10/12/2015 16:32

YANBU, it's one day let him have some fun

Original poster
Bookeatingboy · 10/12/2015 16:34

It would definitely be a one-off because he has asked and has never shown any interest before. I would take him somewhere fairly local.

OP posts:
AutumnLeavesArePretty · 10/12/2015 16:46

He wouldn't need a whole day off, a Santa visit is just for a few minutes. Why not just ask to collect a little earlier at the end of the day. Likely to be quieter as many will be getting ready to do the school run.

honkinghaddock · 10/12/2015 17:03

Take him out early afternoon. This should not show up as an absence. Ds was sent home a lot at that time and they weren't recorded as absences.

AnotherCider · 10/12/2015 18:33

Unless its tomorrow, next week will likely to still be busy as most private schools break up tomorrow.

ohtheholidays · 11/12/2015 08:59

YANBU go for it we have 2DC that are ASD(we have 5DC altogether)and I know how milestones like this that may be run of the mill for other children and they're parents are amazing if you have a child that is asd and they choose to join in with something they normally wouldn't.

I hope you both have a lovely day and that he really enjoys it Xmas Smile

KeepOnMoving1 · 11/12/2015 09:01

Yanbu, in your situation he ha asked and he will remember this special time. Especially with it being so busy this time of year it does limit you if you took him any other times

artisanroast · 11/12/2015 09:07

Take him. Your little boy deserves a treat. These little people are precious and are only little for a short time. Keep him off. Phone the destination Santa in advance so they know to expect you. Maybe even drop a present off there before you go so the Santa can give it to your son. Then go for hot chocolate and have a special day just you and him. You'll never regret keeping him off one day. It's only one day xx

Nanny0gg · 11/12/2015 09:10

What will he miss at school?

Christmas worksheets and decoration making.

Just take him!

Iwonderwhy123 · 11/12/2015 09:13

I think go for it!
Having been a governor and worked in s school I wouldn't normally say that but having a son with ASD I can totally understand your reasons. He finds last week of school very tough due to change in routine too (and would cope terribly with doing a half day as some have suggested).
As he's asked to go as well I think you should take him and enjoy it. Try going very early in morning hopefully when it quieter. Or ring the venue and ask for quietest time. Smile

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