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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would I be unreasonable to not go to childs nativity?

81 replies

Loftsequin · 09/12/2015 15:28

I feel unwell and it's a trek taking younger children. They say they aren't bothered if I go or not ...?

OP posts:
Owllady · 09/12/2015 16:24

Thankfully, we don't get invited to the harvest festivals. Only at the special school and generally that's a low key, unforced affair

BoffinMum · 09/12/2015 16:26

I attend most of them but nearly every year I can't see my children. This time I went early, got a good seat at the front, sorted I thought. Then a TA with a bottom big enough to blot out the sun parked herself right in front of my child between the stage and the seats in a manner that prevented all visual contact, and ensured that any photo we took would have her massive and poorly trousered rear end on it. Luckily one of the children made a fuss early on so she had to take them out and both children and parents were left to get on with the show, which went easier for both once she was out of the way.

Before I get flamed I also have a massive arse, and would think twice about directing it towards an audience where they were trying to observe their children. It's only polite.

bearleftmonkeyright · 09/12/2015 16:26

I think yabu and should go if Im honest. There is such a lot of work that goes into these performances and I think its a shame if parents don't go. I get that you're ill and it is a pain to travel with the younger DC but you are going to have to pick them up I guess so I think you should just go.

Original poster
Loftsequin · 09/12/2015 16:27

Hehe :)

I need the remote world of secondary!

OP posts:
bearleftmonkeyright · 09/12/2015 16:28

not pick them up, pick your child up who's nativity it is if any of that makes sense.

thatsforsure · 09/12/2015 16:29

I work full time - I try to go to school performances but I have 3 children and some years 3 different performances so if i cant go to one I have to miss them all (same with sportsday)to be fair! if I could go to them all I probably would but i cant always get time off.

bearleftmonkeyright · 09/12/2015 16:30

Secondary will be there before you know it. I have one left at primary school and his starring role will be next to a girl who jumps around in front of him trying to wave to her mum.

Happyrouter · 09/12/2015 16:32

Op I hate them too (just some back up for you as others can't seem to fathom that others don't think and feel exactly like them).

Unless your child is the star (which mine will never be) it tends to be an hour of watching evyone else's child and 3 minutes of seeing a corner of your child's head while they sing a group song as a class.

That's my experience anyway, and that's if you can see past other parents heads and elevated iPads filming.

Happyrouter · 09/12/2015 16:33

But in answer to your question I would still go unless you really are too ill to move alas.

Artandco · 09/12/2015 16:39

Nah, say your ill so can't spread germs. Promise ice cream and Xmas gingerbread men in return once home

SaucyJack · 09/12/2015 16:44

Yes, you should go unless you genuinely can't. Do you want your kid to be the one sadfacing in the corner because they have no one to wave to?

Jesus is coming. Look busy.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 09/12/2015 16:44

I hated them too (child is now too big thankfully)

2 hours of watching other peoples kids while you wait for the 30 seconds your own child is on stage (they used to have an infants play followed by the juniors play) with a brief interlude where the head cleans the stage with a mop and bucket cos sheep number 3 has either puked or pee'ed.

If you've already seen it once then that's OK isn't it? (but then I didn't get that I was supposed to be at EVERY performance until DD was in year 4)

Original poster
Loftsequin · 09/12/2015 16:53

Sports day

OP posts:
Whatevva · 09/12/2015 16:59

I went to a primary school that did not encourage parent participation at all - anything we did was for the rest of the school or for the little ones.

TBH, we had really good music and recorder groups, far better than my own children's schools. And it is exciting when you are younger to see what the big children are doing and you will do when you are older.

My mother never had to go anything like this. She just had to make sure we got there and collect us. Apart from one time at my first school when I was a bluddy reindeer in brown tights, and we had a fake Santa with the Harry Palmer glasses. I bet she was glad we moved.

Chasingsquirrels · 09/12/2015 16:59

well, I would say yes go (and I would much prefer not to as well, and I don't go to the school/church services - Easter, Harvest etc).
BUT you have already been once, tbh given the circumstances I think thats ok.
Stay home.

Happyrouter · 09/12/2015 17:06

I didn't see that you had already been once. Dont go if you've already watched it once. I only go to one performance and only found out recently that other parents go to every performance. I don't and my kids are fine with that as long as they know I've seen it that's what matters.

Original poster
Loftsequin · 09/12/2015 17:10

I haven't sorry there must have been a misunderstanding somewhere

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 09/12/2015 17:10

If nobody's bothered give it a miss.

WorraLiberty · 09/12/2015 17:14

Why are you asking OP?

Genuine question btw

Unless you think deep down your child really does want you there?

Chasingsquirrels · 09/12/2015 17:21

oh sorry - you posted that you had already been to one performance this week.

BrandNewAndImproved · 09/12/2015 17:25

You'd hate my dc school. They do a class assembly every half-term and you have to go if your dc gets star of the week ect on top of the nativity.

I do push myself to go and secretly like it if work prevents it from happening.

LucilleBluth · 09/12/2015 17:35

I'm on DC3, she has her nativity next week.......I've been to hundreds of these things and I'm not the biggest fan, I have to say. I will smile and take photos but it's the other parents and having to watch the other years that annoys me.

We lived in Canada for five years when DC1&2 were little. I can clearly remember a Christmas concert where every class in their quite large school did a song/skit......when parents has seen their kid they got up and left, so unBritish.....so fabulous :).

NoSquirrels · 09/12/2015 17:45

Oh only go once, OP! No need to go to every performance. I think once is enough to get the delightful childhood magic Grin and you don't want to hog the hall for the other parents who haven't been yet Grin Grin

Original poster
Loftsequin · 09/12/2015 17:53

I didn't chasing

Sorry worra I wondered if other parents thought it was an unforgivable crime or perfectly fine. Seems between the two. Sorry if that's a problem for you.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/12/2015 18:02

Yes it's a MASSIVE problem for me.

You need to stop posting NOW and get this thread deleted.

Or you could look up the word 'genuine' because like I said, it was a genuine question.

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