to arrange a little birthday lunch

[waitingforsomething]

I am 30 next weekend and was thinking about arranging a small lunch/brunch/afternoon tea with a few friends if they are about. Only trouble is I got married last weekend and same friends made a lot of effort to be there/bridesmaid in some cases and buy gifts.
Is it rude to expect another celebration on my account so soon after my wedding? I'm not expecting gifts - just an hour or so with some friends. Aibu?

Dunno it's tricky isn't it? I didn't do a big party for my 30th for this reason, I knew the wedding was coming up.

A little tea party is OK though, could you afford to pay for the guests?

I think it would be a bit much if people would be expected to pay. Could you have something at home or cater it yourself?

I can't really afford to pay for everyone because of aforementioned wedding. Perhaps I'll just invite some friends over in the eve - ive got loads of leftover booze from the wedding!

Got to be honest, sil did this and most didn't go.

Cost and the fact that they had given up most of a weekend 10 days before meant lots of people weren't up for it.

I think it would probably be a bit much. Particularly as it's also a weekend quite close to Christmas and people might have other stuff they need to attend.
Could you postpone your celebration and invite people over for a drink in the new year to mark the occasion (specifying no presents).

I'd say you'd left it to late in the run up to Xmas.

Wouldn't bother me that I'd just been to your wedding but if you hadn't already pencilled something in I would struggle to fit you in.

I have had plans each weekend since Mid Nov and after this weekend is out of the way I have something on every bloody night til Xmas!

Thanks mn you have confirmed what I was thinking. It's a crap time of year for a birthday anyway, I guess I just felt because it's my 30th I should do something but I'll just get a takeaway with Dh and as someone mentioned perhaps throw a bash for new year drinks

I would just celebrate with close family. Do you have immediate family that you could go out for a meal with? Mum, Dad, siblings, DH?

Yanbu. You can't help when your birthday is and it's an invite not a summons. Maybe invite but make it clear you know it might not be doable for some and don't act like a cock if people say they can't make it. I recently attended a baby shower one weekend and a birthday lunch the following weekend for the same person. I had to take a couple of trains each way and arrange for DH to stay at home with DC but I was happy to do it.

I think people would really appreciate an invite to something nice in January

Hmm.. If you were my friend id be suggesting we did something! It's a big birthday and only a lunch.. Why not get a couple of definite people in and then say to everyone else 'we'll be here from xxx time, pop in if you're free' then makes it a bit flexible

I have DH and my mum- no other family nearby. Will probably just get a takeaway with them. I had such a good time at my wedding with our friends who all live 1-3 hours away but obviously made the effort to come. I think it has reminded me a bit that I actually don't have many friends in my home city (2 young kids, job out of the city) and making me feel a bit folorn leading up to my birthday with no one much to invite. It is a bit close to xmas not to have arranged anything yet so I'll give it a miss and look at Jan.

Ah I can totally sympathise OP. I am a SAHM with no one much nearby. I think waiting till January is a fine plan. If you're feeling a bit forlorn you might not like it if lots of people can't make it next weekend. My previous advice was based on you not really minding of a few couldn't come.

Hope you have a lovely night in with takeaway! Sounds nice. Or maybe mil could watch DCs and DH could take you out? Birthday for you anyway.

Thanks Monty. I wouldn't mind but I fear it would be everyone!
I will eat cake (now fitting in wedding dress has been achieved!) and hang out with Dh

Could it be you have a bit of post wedding blues?

Nothing wrong with that, I did too.

Probably! It was a big build up

Definitely go for a drinks night in January. Too much to ask if you expect them to pay and in the run up to Xmas, a lot of people are stretched for time/cash.

I was on honeymoon and got post wedding blues.

It's the same as holiday Blues.

It's nice when everyone gets together for something like a wedding. If you do it in January at least you have something to look forward to.

I used to be a wedding coordinator. It's very common.

I'd make the effort to come for a 'big' birthday regardless of how recent your wedding had been.

That's nice, Blue, but a lot of people could not afford to make that effort if they just spent a lot on someone's wedding and just two weeks before Christmas.