To be ever so slightly cross at this mum at DD's school?

[Farandole]

A mum at DD's school has just had a baby. It is customary around here for mums at school to have a collection and give a 'class present' to the new baby (entirely optional of course; £2-3 suggested). I offered to make the collection and buy a present and card, which will be given on behalf of the whole class (regardless of whether a girl's parents contributed or not).

I just got an email from one of the mums, cc'ing whole class, announcing she had intended to buy her own present, but since I'm doing a whip around she will contribute £5 (I.e more than suggested amount). However, she then went on to say that the baby doesn't need anything as she's the youngest of siblings, therefore I should use the money either to get flowers for the mum, or buy her a spa day or gift vouchers.

AIBU to think that mum is cheeky and rude? I doubt I will collect over £50, which isn't enough for a spa day, seems a waste of money on flowers and I just don't feel comfortable giving gift vouchers except to my staff/young relatives. For all I know this couple may be extremely wealthy - it seems odd and meaningless giving what may be token money for them.

The mum's email just feels interfering to me. I'm half tempted to write back and suggest she uses her £5 to buy a separate spa day/gift voucher, while the rest of us buy something for the baby :o. (of course I won't do that.)

I've never heard of this, but presume it is a private school as it seems to be a girls' school that breaks up on Thursday.
It does seem odd, especially as the OP admits she barely knows any of the other mums, how many babies are born within any class to have made this 'a thing'?

It's a tradition that all the class give a present. The mum will know this and has probably contributed a couple of quid herself before now, so will know to expect it.

If everyone contributes a fiver, then the present will be more than is usual, which could be embarrassing for her, and if she finds out that one person instigated a hoik in contributions, and everyone else felt pressured to do the same, the present won't be as acceptable, will it?

I'd reply with something like "A fiver! Steady on! This is meant to be a token gesture. We don't want to set a precedent, do we?" I'm not sure if I'd reply to all, or just to her though. I wouldn't want everyone to feel that they had to contribute more, but would it be mean to send a jocular reply to everyone? Hmm. After stroking my beard, I have concluded that no, it wouldn't. Reply to all.

Oh, and is this mum pg herself, or ttcing? Maybe she has an eye on her own present......

It presumably doesn't happen that often though? My DS has just left a single form primary school where I knew all the other parents in his class, I can only think of two that had another baby in the entire 7 years, most had siblings that were only 2 or 3 years apart.

It happens quite a lot in reception.

Still waiting to understand if the woman who wrote the email is the woman who is the intended recipient of the gift?

There was only one in DS's reception year, then another when he was in year 6.

Sarah, the mum who will receive the present is not on the email.

scratch cards?

helpful