To think I do not have to justify having a cleaner...

[FeelingBlobby]

Fed up with comments from in laws mainly about this, vary from me being lazy, to wasting money, to we've obviously got to much money, to not being a good wife/mother. Thing that most gets me is it is always aimed at me, not Dh, as if cleaning/housework etc entirely my responsibility!
Back story Dh and I are not massively well off but we are comfortable and live within our means, so all good. We both work hard and really value our family time. We were finding between both working almost full time and having a small farm we spent too many 'free' hours cleaning, not to have sparkly house but just to keep on top of things. We looked at budget and decided to hire a cleaner for 4 hours a week. She's wonderful and it means we've effectively brought more family time at weekends etc.
Whether or not people agree with us or not, or would choose to do things differently, really isn't my problem. However Aibu to think it is none of their damn business how we spend our money!!!

If you're running a farm that's a business that includes your home, right? Then you'd be mad to clean yourself when you should be budgeting your time accordingly. The cleaner can't run the farm for you? Its like any business - eventually you have to get extra people in a share the work out....

That's my logic anyway to my socialist DM who couldn't deal with it fro ages. We're both freelance.

I had one even without kids! Someone who came in 3 times a week too. It's no ones business, tell them to but out.

If you both work full time then you need a cleaner or you'll just spend a weekend day doing it which sucks! I'd def have one if we both were full time

Yanbu. Your money, your choice. It's nice to have a clean house and no-one else's business that you decide to employ someone to help you achieve that.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag

One day.......sigh!

Don't get this weirdness about cleaners. No one cares if you get a window cleaner to do your windows or a mechanic to sort your car.

One day I hope to be like you op, soon, soon.

And I'll have plenty of extra time with which to live my life and to stick my fingers up at those who judge me for it!

I would call them excitedly and say you're loving the cleaner so much you're splashing out on a part-time butler.

But seriously. You don't need to justify. Even if you're sitting on your arse eating grapes all day and watching Jeremy Kyle.

I bloody love my cleaner. I don't work and have 3 children in school/nursery. I'm very lucky that we can afford it, and I bloody hate doing it. The amount of people who have called me lazy is ridiculous, but I don't care.
I still have to do all the other tedious shit everyday, so it's lovely to come home to a clean house once a week!

YABU, but only because I'm jealous and would bloody love a cleaner. If people pass comment then just tell them straight, you wanted a cleaner so hired one, none of their business.

I just mentioned wanting to hire a cleaner to a colleague today and was told it was waste of money when you can do it yourself and so on. But I will much rather pay for that service than spent my free time cleaning. I mean its my money, my choice so YANBU

I always had a cleaner when I worked full time - and boy do I miss her now that I'm semi-retired! I didn't have this from inlaws as my MiL also had a cleaner as did my DM - we all worked full time. However, I did get a few remarks and raised eyebrows from ... my colleagues - none of whom at that point had children. Within a couple of years they ALL had cleaners - I sold the idea so well.

I also got comments from some other family members. It annoyed me that I felt I had to justify how I spent the money I earned. I pointed out that I didn't smoke, drink or have expensive holidays or buy expensive clothes or cars - but I shouldn't have had to do that.

Your DH should step up here and say that if you and he choose to spend your money on buying yourselves and your family some quality time then it is nobody's business but your own. I would also get him to say that housework is a shared responsibility, not solely the job of the wife. If he doesn't want to say this, then you will have to - and if he doesn't like it, then he ought to grow his own backbone.

OP, I could have written your post.

We are exactly the same: work full time, cleaner for 4 hours every two weeks actually. Costs 50 quid per two weeks, so 100 a month (quite a big house, 3 bathrooms).

We do not have a lot of money as only been in house 2 years but find that a cleaner is one thing that we really benefit from. I hate cleaning and so does DH. At weekend I just want to chill with DS and DH, not clean the toilets.

We saw BIL and his wife at the weekend and told them that we had got a cleaner.

Exactly the same reaction from family as you 'comments from in laws mainly about this, vary from me being lazy, to wasting money, to we've obviously got to much money, to not being a good wife/mother. Thing that most gets me is it is always aimed at me, not Dh, as if cleaning/housework etc entirely my responsibility!'

YES!!!

WHY?!! Why is it me? Why my responsibility? I work full time. DH does too?!

And then bloody sanctimonious SIL saying 'Oh, I like cleaning'. Yeah, sure you do. Give me a fucking break.

And ' Oh, that's expensive, think what you could do with the money? We don't have spare cash like that'. No, but you have a new Golf on HP for 300 quid per month don't you, SIL

With the money we could probably have two/three takeaways a month. Or go out at night twice a month to the cinema/dinner. Or, oh, no sorry, we don't have a babysitter, so we can't.

Hence the cleaner!

I really don't understand the prejudice toward cleaners.

I am:

A. Providing someone with employment.
B. Making my life more comfortable.
C. Not having arguments with DH over who cleans the flaming loo.

We don't have many other luxuries. We share a car. 1 week's vacation per year, not abroad. We cook from scratch a lot. I don't have my hair/nails/face done, maybe a pedicure every 2 months.

But people who have fancy cars/cell phones/clothes/handbags etc are not seen as lavish?

Am I missing something?

What really pisses me off the most is that it is still seen as women's work.

FUCK that.

You don't have to justify it to anyone.

My nan has recently got a cleaner. She's 72, cares for my Grandad who is disabled and doesn't struggle to pay the £20 a week it costs. I used to do it for her but I'm 36 weeks pregnant and she used to try and pay me (which I wouldn't take). Her friend recently lost her job so now she does it for her. A few family members have mentioned how it's a waste of money. Not that concerned that they have offered to do it for nothing of course.

Tell your in laws to bugger off unless they've got a better idea!

A team of 4 men come for 2 hours every Friday and clean from top to bottom my god it is heaven

'A few family members have mentioned how it's a waste of money. '

But why is it a waste of money?

It's a service. Paying for a haircut isn't a waste of money, and that's a service? No-one complains when you have a hair cut!

There is a cost/benefit factor to having a cleaner.

People are too polite and think they have to answer intrusive questions.
All you need is 'it suits us at the moment' and change the subject. It they return to it just look mildly surprised and say 'I already said- it suits us at the moment'. If they still keep on just go for 'it suits us at the moment- it isn't up for discussion'. The 'broken record' approach. Keep a bored, neutral tone.

Just tell them they are naked cleaners and give them something to winge about

How much is a cleaner may I ask?

Seems like a brilliant idea to me, I abhor spending my weekend cleaning?

YANBU tell them to mind their own business

MIL probably jealous!

£10 an hour, 3 hours a week for me.

They are just jealous.

Ignore and enjoy your family life.