To think that kids be left in the bath...

[Flashbangandgone]

... While I go to another room upstairs from the age of 4?

I would think it is more dangerous with two DC in the bathtub close in age for a few reasons:

1 - When one DC stands or sits it creates waves that could knock over the 2nd DC.

2 - Fighting over bath toys....

3 - My DC like to do bath bombs and bath slides (DH fired the babysitter on the spot for teaching them this).

I am sure there are plenty of other reasons. We bath ours together. Once #3 comes along I will probably give the baby a bath in the AM and have her in a bouncing chair in the bathroom while the elder two have their bath before bedtime. When I go back I will have a change station in the bathroom and get the baby dressed for bed while the other two are in the tub.

Small children together are more likely to muck about.

I remember reading in the paper a couple of years back about a dad who had left the room to get a towel or something and his 2/3 yo had dunked the younger sibling obviously playing and not intending to kill the sibling but that's what happened.

• *This is why I don't give my children drinks.

The risks are just too high*

This actually annoyed me. If you think drowning is funny I actually can't be bothered to give you a senisable answer. Water is dangerous. You can drown In a cm of water. If you think it's hilarious to go oh well I won't give my kids drinks and think it's funny.

Yes I'm black and white about it, not because anything has ever happened but because we have been taught to respect water, the same Wayne have been taught to respect cars, fire, other dangerous things.

Apart from drowning their other risks in the bathroom, medicines, cleaning liquids, risk of scolding.

As a previous poster said there's known risks, there's a practical and easy way to migrate those risks surely you do it!

Don't you think maybe the reason the stats are lower is because most people don't leave their 4 year old unattended in the bath, rather that the stats demostratrating it's less dangerous. More it's thought of as dangerous so people don't do it.

KP86 You leave your 19 month old in the bath for 20 minutes alone but listen out for his splashes?

My baby sister nearly drowned in a paddling pool.
My sisters and I and a friend of ours were in the pool. We were getting out. My mum was drying me, friend's mum was drying him. Suddenly friend's mum pulled baby sister out by the hair because she had slipped (sitting) face down in the water. She was about a year old.

You can drown In a cm of water.

No you can't. Water is dangerous but it's not a child's kryptonite.

Drowning is suffocation by water.

To drown, both nose and mouth need to be fully submerged, fully cutting off oxygen.

You need about least 2-4 fl.oz in your lungs to drown. To put that in perspective, go look at a Dr. Brown's 4oz bottle. That's a half to full bottle amount in your lungs needed to cut off air supply.

If you're facing down in a CM of water, you're inhaling air with the oxygen and it's unlikely you're breathing in at a force that's going to actually suck enough water in. For an infant you need about 5 cm (which is still less than 2 inches). Falling in a puddle is probably going to be fine.

It also means that if your child falls over into water and gasps in surprise under water, they'll die pretty quick if they don't get it out quick enough. Remember the bottle? That's about one full gasp. How long does it take to gasp like that? Probably shorter than it takes you to reach from a few inches away to scoop them up. From there it takes two minutes of no oxygen for permanent brain damage to occur.

So if you're pottering around the house letting your 19 month (Srsly KP86?!) play alone, you damn well better know rescue breathing and be prepared for a life of difficulties as they are no longer able to process things as sharply from brain damage. That's best case scenario. Worst case, you're frantically watching your child turn ice blue as he doesn't cough up the water like he should. That's not the last image you want to remember your child by.

Always, always be there with your child in the tub. But have a realistic understanding of what water can do.

Naught

I'm talking about being in an adjacent room while my 6.5 & 4.5 yo play in the bath (though i think in my judgment they are only just of age and trustworthiness to do this - hence my post) Any squabbles, noises, distress, bangs, etc. then I'm in - I would argue that is supervising (unless you're saying it's impossible for a partially-sighted person to parent children of that age!) I appreciate you feel otherwise but your unwillingness to engage other than saying you can't even believe this is even being discussed isn't very helpful. Given you're so adamant that I'm being neglectful it would be helpful to know what age you think it is permissible to leave the bathroom.

As for comments about scalding, medicines etc AIBU for even letting my children enter the bathroom without me? That's absurd! Surely I should have (and I do) have medicines out of reach and the hot water turned to a level that isn't scalding hot.... AIBU to even let my children climb the stairs alone (plenty of accidents there!), and I should clearly ban my children from playgrounds! (160 deaths in U.S. Over a 10 year period). I think the kind of alarmist 'drowning in a cm' type post is what's led to the post about not allowing children to drink!

This thread has been helpful in making me aware of the potential dangers of baths (for all ages) and the need for vigilance (as opposed to constant hawk-eyed supervision without any thought as to when this might be relaxed as they get older).

Wouls people think I was being unreasonable to leave my 6 yo in the bath while I popped out the room?

Honestly, I think a good age is when they express a need for privacy. By then they're mature enough to think about body autonomy and how to behave properly in a tub (so probably around 7-8 years old). Until then, just read a book or play on your phone while he takes a bath so that if he slips under you're there to lurch forward and pull him out.

An asjaaant room you still can't physixally see then can you? It's still going Ro take you 20/30 seconds to get their should the children fall silent! As has been pointed out actually two children makes them more likely to fool around turn on hot taps. Dare each other to do things they know their not allowed to do while your in the room. Yes I would say I wouldn't leave a 6 year old alone in a bath let alone leave it being responsible for a four year old.

I have definitely left ds2 in the bath alone. Trying to recall from what age. Definitely 6. 5? Yes I think.

It's still going to take you 20/30 seconds to get their should the children fall silent! You clearly live in a bigger house than me, either that or you think I'm very slow!... but as you admitted, you're clearly black and white about this - that's fine, but I'm not. You may think I'm neglectful... I may think you're a bit alarmist, though better that way I suppose.

Also (and I will probably get crucified for this!) I think there is a difference when it comes to "popping out" the room for something. For a very young child (under 3) I wouldn't do this at all, but surely it's one thing to pop out of the bathroom to get a towel from an airing cupboard (round 'trip' time being all of 5 seconds, 10 seconds tops), and "popping out" for a couple of minutes to put some washing away etc. whilst getting a towel. I suspect that the tragedies where people say they popped out, the latter will have been the case. The former (literally a few seconds), I genuinely can't see the issue.... a longer trip to a different part of the house.... maybe.

Yes I would say I wouldn't leave a 6 year old alone in a bath let alone

How old then?

I leave my 5 year old in the bath while I potter. It is all about risk and I seriously don't think that him sitting in the bath,
with a plastic cup purring it over his knees is a huge risk.

we left ds alone from age 3 but small house and talking to him and checking in on him every few mins. He had a seat thing so he couldnt stand up, and he liked to stay in the bath for hours. but mostly we just gave him showers. ds2 only has showers. i think drowing in bath is rare, somthing like only 3 deaths a year from drowning in a bath and about 24 cases of it need hospital treatment.

Mine (nearly 5) is not allowed to stand in the bath. Must always be sitting on the bath mat. She is not allowed to get in or out of the bath on her own, or to get more toy (toys are picked out and put in the bath before she gets in).

Bath is shallow, door is open and if I'm not in the room, I'm directly next door. If I have to leave the room, I ask her to sing or talk.

Regarding the several mentions of leaving children alone in the bath while you "pop out to get a towel". Isn't it predictable that a towel will be needed before they get in the bath? Maybe the people who regularly do this are the same people who are surprised to be asked for money at the supermarket checkout.

DD is nearly 4 and I potter in the kitchen next door - probably one of the only benefits of a bathroom that comes off a kitchen, as you can see and hear her. Wouldn't do anything noisy so I couldn't hear her. She's not a jumper or swimmer in the bath anyway. And I can still talk to her from there.

Horses for courses, and it will completely depend what your house is like.

I definitely wouldn't see a parent in the next room sorting clothes, say, with the doors open so they can hear them a massive risk at about 4. Though it will also depend on what your child is like and what they like to play at when in the bath.

pedestriana not meaning to single you out but I'll say again - DCs don't always follow the rules - they can catch you off guard, do something unexpected. In their head they are not being bad... I don't think you can rely on them to always follow the rules...
I said upthread - we have those rules - afaik they have always previously adhered to. But my normally shockingly obedient 8yo decided to give me a nice surprise which involved breaking the rules...
(admittedly she doesn't often have baths now so maybe I should have reminded her. )
I can actually see how in a DC's head that might be acceptable, you are allowed to break the rules because you doing something different and helpful. Like you don't keep secrets from your parents - except you do when it is a birthday surprise for them
Or I guess it is like children who get knocked over by running out in front of cars - they know they should stay on the pavement, not cross without looking etc but they do it without thinking...

My sister and me used play a game where you would rub soap on the edge of the bath and and balance along the edge. The bath would be full of cold water ( and crocodiles)so you would get a icy dunk if you fell in. We had a big house but I can't remember my mum ever catching us or anyone getting seriously hurt. We also liked playing in an old quarry and very crazy unsupervised pony riding ( jumping, rounding up cows etc) quite a few pony related injuries though. I am a lot more risk adverse with my children.

I had a very good friend die in the bath as an adult. She had been ill and it caused a freak fit and that was it.
I don't let anyone in my house have a bath if they're ill unless I'm with them.

My 7 year olds get in but doors open and only for a few minutes and boy can you hear them when they're in the bath

It's all well and good saying "no need for locks, just knock" but that doesn't always work - some people are forgetful (particularly young DC desperate for the toilet), others just ignore the rules.

Its surely about risk vs reward. The risk of death / injury in the bath is very low. The reward (some quiet time totally alone) is high. So I will continue to have baths when I'm alone and have nobody around to rescue me from a freak accident. Because (to me) that reward is worth the risk. As a teenager in need of privacy I'd have argued that it was worth the risk too. Teenagers have a right to bodily autonomy and to protect themselves from potentially being seen naked if it makes them uncomfortable.

For a young child the risk is higher (silliness, lack of awareness etc) and the reward is lower (an extra two mins to organise myself before the child gets in the bath). So I'd never leave a young child. The age at which the risk and reward balance each other surely depends on the child.

erm, anyone think that the number of younger children NOT drowning is because most responsible parents dont frickin leave them alone in the bath????

ffs - totally agree with the posters who dont leave their DCs in the bath alone, i've moved mine to showers, and i used to sit with with those (but only to make sure they had washed properly!!)

Here's some official (American) advice that says children under 6 should not be left alone in the bath.

www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/patientinstructions/000154.htm

(So I suppose 6 is the age where it starts to become reasonable.)

KP86 Well, someone call social services on me immediately. My DS19m is always in the bath by himself.

I have to say that if I knew someone who left their 19 month old in the bath for 20 mins regularly I would seriously be considering calling social services or at the very least would raise a concern with the health visitor.

I have a family member who lost their son to drowning at exactly that age. The mum took the older child out of the bath whilst the little one was playing with his dad and grandparents downstairs. She took her DS1 to his room and got him into PJs, came back and the little one was lying face down in the bath. The adults had taken their eye off him for a moment, couldn't find him and he had got upstairs and into the bath. There was only 2 mins between him being lost and found. The granddad was a doctor and got him breathing again before the ambulance arrived but by then the damage was done. He was on life support whilst they tried to find brain activity and after a week they had to turn it off. Then there was a police investigation because of the death of the child (though it was over very quickly as it was clearly an accident). It was 10 years ago now and the parents have managed to live with the grief but I know that the mum still has periods where the grief and guilt (though she did nothing wrong) overwhelms her.

Having seen what they have been through I would seriously urge you to rethink what you are doing whilst your DS is so young. If anything did go wrong it might well be seen as child neglect to leave a child this young alone in water for so long.