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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that kids be left in the bath...

296 replies

Flashbangandgone · 06/12/2015 22:32

... While I go to another room upstairs from the age of 4?

OP posts:
FundraisingPTABitch · 07/12/2015 15:06

my mother now though, she calls everyone all the time and makes sure all our husbands check in on us when we're in the shower/bath.

She's gone ott and this story never stops being told.

00100001 · 07/12/2015 16:17

why don't you just get your kids to shower if you feel it so very dangerous? Confused

CheesyNachos · 07/12/2015 16:24

My Ds is 5 and DH thinks he should be okay in the bath. But DS also likes to play Ninja Warrior which means he is leaping all over the bath all the time.

I sit there and watch at all times.

But seriously.... a bath can take 5 minutes or so. Can people really not spare 5 minutes 4-5 times a week to supervise? (I bath every second day only as DS has skin problems).

Flashbangandgone · 07/12/2015 16:31

Naught

I wasn't being serious, just that some posters seem alarmist...

It's like anything... I could find stats on falling down stairs, driving, playing sports etc that would all probably be more dangerous than being next door to a 4 year old listening to them in the bath rather than feeling I must literally hover over them at all times!

OP posts:
NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 07/12/2015 16:42

I know you weren't! My point is it's actually a hell a lot more dangerous than playing sports!

Yes it doesn't happen often.

You can drown in a cm of water you can stop breathing in 30 seconds

It's as dangeras as letting your four year old cross the road unattended I am being serious!

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 07/12/2015 16:43

And I'm not being alarmist I'm saying you should be as aware of the dangers of drowning as you should of crossing the roads.

Both are preventable it's being aware of it though!

slightlyglitterpaned · 07/12/2015 17:10

People in general, even very highly educated accomplished people, are far far more shit at estimating risk accurately than they think they are.

Something you do every day, your mind eventually slots into the low risk category, even if it's medium to high risk. Something unusual you will be more careful about. So if you go on holiday and yhe house has a fish pond, or a swimming pool, you'll be more cautious than with the bath you take every day.

Flashbangandgone · 07/12/2015 17:30

It's as dangeras as letting your four year old cross the road unattended I am being serious

I'm not doubting there is danger involved, just that some responses seem to lack perspective, and your comment is a prime example in my view.

Firstly, the Brisbane survey someone kindly quoted did not have any 4 year olds in it... That's not to say there's no danger, just that statistically it's very low. I am also not suggesting leaving a 4 yo in a bath and going off for a snooze or do some work at the bottom of the garden. I'm talking about being next door, able to hear that all is well, ready at a moment's notice to come in if necessary.

I don't have the facts to hand, but if I sent 100,000 4 year olds out alone to wander the streets, and I bathed 100,000 4 year olds the way I suggest, I'm pretty confident that there would be a far higher mortality rate amongst those wandering and crossing the streets alone!

OP posts:
BathtimeFunkster · 07/12/2015 18:43

Any volume of water is enough to drown in

Grin

This is why I don't give my children drinks.

The risks are just too high.

Flashbangandgone · 07/12/2015 18:48

From Rospa

Every year more than 4,200 children are involved in falls on the stairs and 4,000 children under the age of 15 are injured falling from windows

Versus

8 years of reports... One 4 or 5 year old died in bath where parent was in next room.

Of course, every death is tragic, and it could be argued 'why take the risk' and I get that, but to equate it to the risk of 4 year olds crossing roads alone is way off. If we didn't do something because there was a very remote risk attached, we'd be in a perpetual state of paralysis... We certainly wouldn't walk our children to school... Many incidents over the years of cars ploughing into pedestrians!

OP posts:
Mrscog · 07/12/2015 19:31

Bathtimefunkster you just made my day with that one :)

NeeeeNaaaaaw · 07/12/2015 19:43

I've been a paramedic for 5 years. I can't even count how many children I've taken to hospital because they've drowned in the bath. It takes half a second for a child to slip and be submerged. 20-30 for brain damage. It's really not worth the risk. If you've forgotten the towel, just take them in to your room wet. Soggy trousers in sure are the preferred option to a critically ill child.

Want2bSupermum · 07/12/2015 19:48

My kids have fallen in the bath far more times than they have fallen down the stairs. The bath, with 2" or 2ft of water is just as dangerous.

SoupDragon · 07/12/2015 19:50

My kids have neither fallen down the stairs nor fallen in the bath.

#anecdata

CheesyNachos · 07/12/2015 19:56

I am a bit bemused by all of this.There is a known risk to children being left alone in the bath. There is a known way to mitigate that risk. Be present. I truly cannot even believe this is up for discussion/debate.

I jsut typed up a personal interest I have in this, but have deleted it. Mainly because it is identifying to someone else and not my story to tell.

Notimefortossers · 07/12/2015 20:04

*This is why I don't give my children drinks.

The risks are just too high*

Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Well I must be the worst mother in the world. Because I leave my 4 year old in the bath every night (granted she is with her 7 year old sister who is more sensible than most adults), to wash, dry, dress and brush their teeth, while I take the baby into the next room to give him his bottle and put him down. Then I come out and either finish them off if they're not done, or meet them in they're room where they have tucked themselves up safely in bed for kisses, hugs and stories before bed.

This is something I taught them to do properly themselves before I had DC3 so that I could manage a bath/bed time routine with 3!

Flashbangandgone · 07/12/2015 20:09

I am a bit bemused by all of this.There is a known risk to children being left alone in the bath. There is a known way to mitigate that risk. Be present. I truly cannot even believe this is up for discussion/debate.

You surely can't really be that 'black and white' about this?! I think everyone agrees there is a risk, to a greater or lesser degree, but it seems the risk is there whatever the age, and given it's clearly inappropriate to stand over your 15 year old, when is the right point, and how should it be done?

OP posts:
CheesyNachos · 07/12/2015 20:09

Damn right I am black and white over it.

CheesyNachos · 07/12/2015 20:10

and you are talking about a 4 year old. Not a 15 year old in your original post.

Blueprintorange · 07/12/2015 20:23

Wow, this thread is an eye opener! I'm really surprised that some parents have vocal checks when their teenagers are in the bath!

I would have felt so suffocated if my parents did that, and I had really really overbearing parents!

Flashbangandgone · 07/12/2015 20:27

Damn right I am black and white over it.

Ok, well what age and why?

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 07/12/2015 21:11

I guess this is one of those things that once it has happened to you to view the risk very differently. DD slipping in the bath really shook me up because if I had been in the next room I may have had a delayed reaction to her going under and inhaling the bath water. As I was sitting right next to the bath my immediate reaction was to scoop her up with her arms and then hold her over the bathtub side and whack her back rather hard. She threw up water. It really scared both DH and I as we never really understood just how dangerous the bathtub could be.

We have all slipped in the bath, fallen down the stairs. The only time any of us have nearly died is after falling the bath. So while the risk of injury is probably greater from falling down the stairs, the risk of death, from our experience anyway, is much higher from the bathtub. We can recover if one of us are injured but death is rather different.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 07/12/2015 21:28

Some of you who have seen previous post of mine about one of my ex's and some of the odd court orders I have had to obtain over the years in order to allow our child to be able to have a safe relationship with him.

He was prohibited from having child overnight allowing child to go swimming and from bathing child until child was 6yo.

The thing that started pretty much most of the back and forth to court stuff was him disclosing to a a social worker that he was allowing our 3y4 month old child to bath with periods of no supervision,this is the first thing I knew about his parenting abilities and priorities changing, she reported it to the child protection team and the next thing you know all hell broke lose. He had court ordered contact prior to that and contrary to most people's beliefs SS without a court order cannot override another court order,he professed to all who were prepared to listen that leaving an under 5yo in a body of water for short periods of time was perfectly acceptable it was his refusal to acknowledge that it was an issue despite a cafcas officer and judge telling him he would lose unsupervised contact if he wouldn't.

Our child is older now so these were the days of mothers being accused of "failing to protect" their children and it was made quite clear to me at the time that if I did not take the matter to court I would be considered to have failed to protect our child from neglect.

I can remember a few expert reports from the time talking about drowning incidents and it was horrifying just how quickly it can happen and what can happen medically if you don't die. One of the things to remember is one of the reasons for the drop in amount of children under 5 drowning in bath tubs is because it's become far less likely that a child that age would be left unsupervised.

My understanding is it can be even more dangerous with a young one if they are in the bath with another child close in age

Notimefortossers · 07/12/2015 21:55

How so?