The lodger keeps changing the fairy lights setting on my Xmas tree...

[BassAce]

I've had my Xmas tree up since the last weekend in November, at the request of my two DS's (5 and 3). Also at their request the fairy lights on said tree are set to 'twinkling' mode.

I also have a temporary lodger. In so many ways he's a lovely man, and a very welcome bit of adult company in the house since my ex-H left us two Christmases ago....
HOWEVER. Every single time I leave him alone in the house (or go up to bed before him of an evening), he takes it upon himself to switch the fairy lights off twinkling to just being plain on all the time. Fair enough, maybe he hates the flashing (he's not epileptic, i did check!) and when hes alone in the house he should be able to do whatever he likes. BUT he never cycles through the twelve settings on the lights to put them back how I want them for when I return.

It's such a stupid thing, but it's really beginning to give me the rage every morning having to set the lights back to how my children want them on MY tree in MY house. Surely he could just switch them off at the plug if he doesn't want to see them twinkling?! I don't want to fall out with him, but my current level of rage over this tiny stupid thing makes me feel like I can't even speak to him about it right now. And leaving a note asking him not to touch them seems daft. AIBU?! Do I just need to grow up and get over it? I fear I'm just a little unused to sharing my house space with other people and im being a mardy Christmas grouch. So Mumsnet jury... would this annoy you too or am I a dick?!

Twinkling lights are horrid and I can't deal with being in the same room as them, presumably your lodger feels the same.

Anyway, he pays to live in your home and have use of the room the tree is in presumably? So when you're not there he switches them to how he wants them, and when you're in you switch them back. Which means you each have to go over to the plug and change it the same number of times. Sounds fair to me tbh. Not worth getting so wound up over.

Twinkle/twinkling is no longer a real word after reading this thread.

Anything other than constant gives me a headache. He may be politely tolerating them and hating the twinkle.

Seriously, just change the lights back yourself every time. He's entitled to switch them any way he wants as a rent paying lodger. If he doesn't like them you should respect that but its a bit miserable to expect him to switch them off altogether just because you want them on "twinkling" mode. I think YABU and there are deeper issues than just annoying flashing Xmas lights.

Have none of you been paying attention? The OP has to cycle through twelve settings to get them to twinkle again. Have a heart.

What, hit a button twelve times? That must be exhausting!

Twinkling lights give me migraine, even for a really short time. I'd have to change them and I wouldn't change them back because just going through all those flashy settings would bring it on. I guess you could just turn them off when you go out and insist it's kept on that setting but that could be effectively stopping your lodger enjoying them at all.
I think you need to either suck it up or find out if they actually bother him on twinkling and there's a reason he can't put them back. But I think you risk looking a bit petty, sorry.

Having to look at a christmas tree in November would drive me potty let alone the twinkling lights. It's his home too

What is the issue with cycling through until you get to twinkling?

I have no idea what sort of contraption it is, or how old your children are, but could the children take it in turns to cycle through until they get to their preferred setting?

Or how about making 'twinkling' a special thing? So the get it for half an hour before bed, or Sunday is Twinkling Day? I suggest this as neither you nor your lodger like it.

He has my sympathy- I can't stand them twinkling.

12 settings- what on earth are they?

1. On
2. Off
3. Twinkle

What else could there be? Singing jingle bells? Strobe? Blue lights and sirens?

He has as much of a right to have the lights off as you do to have them on because he is a paying lodger.

And I would be rather pissed off if you have had them going since November.

Oh twinkle, TWINKLE little staaaaaaar

On. Off. 10 types of twinkle.

Ours have 10 settings. I only use "static".

I find slow fade the worst - you end up sitting there watching the lights go on & off!

[santa]

when did flashing become twinkling?

Agree with a PP that having them twinkling only occasionally as a "special" immensely irritating treat is a good idea.

If he pays rent it is his home as well and YABU to expect him to tolerate the abomination of twinkling tree lights when your children are not even there! It is ridiculous to allow such young children to dictate how things should be when you and he prefer them otherwise

I would think that the adults in the house have the deciding vote, so you and the lodger prefer non twinkling, that is how it should stay!

Sorry DC, you get to decide when you pay the rent and electricity bill!

Why don't you just switch them off before going to bed?

I must admit I would hate twinkling or flashing lights. They would drive me round the bend and give me a headache.

Our tree is going up the week before Christmas and no earlier.

I don't know how lodging works, but I would imagine there has to be some give on little things. Granted it isn't and shouldn't be down to you, and you may be a great person ( as long as the lights are twinkling ) but I believe nobody becomes a lodger if they don't have to, it is Christmas and he may love Christmas decorations, just not the twinkling, for all of 5 seconds I would let it slide.

Could be worse, he could have a nightly disco round the strobe tree you're providing.

If you know a paying member of the household really doesn't like the twinkling lights, why do you put them on twinkle?

How did you manage to bring up in conversation, 'are you epileptic?'