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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you can still be greedy if you are slim?

87 replies

baublesbells · 05/12/2015 12:14

Reading several of the food posts on AIBU, a common thing I come across is people who say, usually about their DH or DP, is that oh my partner needs loads of food and it doesn't matter because he is slim/thin etc.

You can still be greedy and be slim. Stuffing loads of food isn't a good thing and it doesn't make it ok just because you don't visibly look obese.

Slim people can have high levels of internal fat so may not look fat

OP posts:
RaptorsCantPlayPoker · 05/12/2015 12:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheradenineZakalwe · 05/12/2015 12:21

I'm slim and I eat a lot. If I don't then i lose weight. Then you'd probably judge me for being too skinny. So how's about you stop deciding what's 'ok' for people to eat?

badtime · 05/12/2015 12:24

YABU. If someone eats a lot of food and is still slim, it means that they need more food to maintain their weight, probably because of higher levels of activity.

Mostly, though, YABU for using the word 'greedy' in this context. It is a really unpleasant moral judgement on others.

I agree with Raptors that being slim is not the same as being fit and healthy, though.

JumpandScore · 05/12/2015 12:25

If you're being "greedy" by definition you're eating more food than you need and will get fat.

If you mean it's possible to be slim and unfit, of course it is. A person who eats a lot but stays slim isn't eating too much, although they may be eating the wrong things.

Original poster
baublesbells · 05/12/2015 12:25

Chera I never decided what is ok for people to eat Hmm

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/12/2015 12:26

YANBU, although for some people being greedy and being able to 'out eat' the next person, seems to be a source of amusement.

Although greed isn't always about food.

Some people are greedy when it comes to buying shoes/handbags/golfing equipment/fishing equipment etc.

I think it only becomes a problem when it affects someone else though, otherwise it's up to them.

MuttonWasAGoose · 05/12/2015 12:28

What the fuck is up with the word "greedy?" What an bizarre word to use!

To my way of thinking, "greedy" would be taking more pizza to the point that others don't get their fair share. If they're not taking food away from other people, who gives a fuck how much they eat?

What an odd way to think - that there's a virtuous amount of food to eat and then there's "greedy."

There are unhealthy ways to behave, and that can include eating more than is good for you. But you can't judge that by the volume of food you see them take. There was a thread recently where someone got bent out of shape because her husband ate two salmon fillets. She didn't say that she wanted the other one - just that she thought he shouldn't have both because it seemed excessive to her.

That's just some weird, fucked-up disordered thinking about food in general, in my opinion.

Original poster
baublesbells · 05/12/2015 12:35

I think people judge not according to the amount of food someone eats but according to the size of the person eating it

When I was really overweight, if I ate a chocolate bar in public I would get dirty looks

Now I am size 8, never get such looks

OP posts:
goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal · 05/12/2015 12:35

I think people get separate issues mixed up, and conflate them as one.

One is fitness

One is weight

One is overall health.

It's perfectly possible to be overweight and very fit. But that doesn't mean that it's somehow all of a sudden the fact the person is overweight is totally irrelevant.

It's possible to be a healthy, slim weight, and totally unfit. Look at all the weight loss threads where people basically advise others to half starve themselves, but wave off exercise as unnecessary or irrelevant. Good cardiovascular health is just as important as being a healthy weight.

Lastly, you can have two people who are a normal weight, and overweight, both of whom aren't in great overall health. The only difference being that at least the normal weight person would be able to automatically rule out obesity as a causal/risk factor in whatever health problems they have.

I think it's ridiculous how many people claim that because they might have some vague level of fitness, it's okay that they are incredibly overweight. It's just as ridiculous to hear people saying that they don't need to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without having to stop, because they can get their arse into a pair of size 8 jeans.

SparklyTinselTits · 05/12/2015 12:38

YANBU!!
I had a horribly abusive early childhood, and had to be treated for malnutrition once the bastard left.
Ever since then, I've been a big eater! I have to be careful because of the damage done to my digestive system as a child, but I love food!!! I'm still very slim (about 110lbs) but I eat like a horse Blush

LaurieLemons · 05/12/2015 12:42

Yanbu, I've always been size 8-10 and until I got pregnant ate crap after crap after crap. Skinny doesn't always = healthy. The excess fat can also sit on the inside.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 05/12/2015 12:57

Of course. The idea that food intake and weight are directly and concretely related and that people don't have differing metabolisms is a very MN notion.

JumpandScore · 05/12/2015 13:01

Of course everyone needs different amounts of food but eating more than another person who needs less than you doesn't make you greedy.

I eat loads because I burn around 5000 calories pw training. Does that make me greedy and unhealthy?

AyeAmarok · 05/12/2015 13:32

I don't think eating a lot of food (even if slim) necessarily makes someone greedy. That's not how I would use the word.

To me, greedy is taking more than your fair share to the detriment of others, whether in terms of food, money, time, etc etc.

If someone eats two chicken fillets at dinner instead of one, so long as other people aren't suffering because of that, then what's the problem?

If they are eating massive portions but still slim, then that's what their body needs for fuel, so it's not 'greedy'.

Usernamegone · 05/12/2015 13:33

I'm slim and can sometimes be greedy! Not greedy insofar that I would take more than my fair share, but if I had massive dessert I would probably eat all of it even if I was feeling stuffed.

expatinscotland · 05/12/2015 13:38

I'm amazed at how many people on MN actually give a fuck about what people eat or how much and if they are 'greedy'. Get a fucking life.

MaisieDotes · 05/12/2015 13:39

To me, greedy is taking more than your fair share to the detriment of others, whether in terms of food, money, time, etc etc

Totally agree with aye ^

Unfortunately as a child I was given messages about food that mean I now lean the other way- always serve myself less than others and not the nicer bits etc. I don't want to be seen to be being greedy.

The upshot is I really only enjoy eating when I'm on my own.

Not a healthy attitude.

SaucyJack · 05/12/2015 13:41

I don't really think you can generalise.

DP works in a manual labour job, and has struggled to maintain his BMI of 17.5 his whole life.

He does need to eat more food than most people- certainly more than I do.

Although yes, the extra calories don't need to be from Pringles.

Original poster
baublesbells · 05/12/2015 13:52

I'm amazed at how many people on MN actually give a fuck about what people eat or how much and if they are 'greedy'. Get a fucking life

I am amazed at statements such as these, if you truly didn't give a fuck, you wouldn't even make a fucking statement on this thread Grin

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/12/2015 13:55

I give a fuck about people who are busybodies, not about how much a person fucking eats.

iklboo · 05/12/2015 13:58

There's not a pick on BIL. He will happily trample the elderly & small children to get to a buffet. His 'all you can eat' plates get piled massively high.

At a recent family do he was putting four hot dog sausages on each bun - and ate five of them AS WELL AS other buffet food.

It's not like he doesn't get fed at home.

Original poster
baublesbells · 05/12/2015 14:01

I give a fuck about people who are busybodies, not about how much a person fucking eats

Why don't you start a thread about something you give a fuck about rather than commenting on one you don't give a fuck about?

You are putting far too much effort into something you don't give a fuck about Grin

OP posts:
VestalVirgin · 05/12/2015 14:05

YABU. Thin people do need to eat a lot to keep their weight.

To use the word "greedy" with respect so someone's eating habits is very rude and also nonsensical.

People who are hungry are not "greedy". They are hungry.

It is possible to have unhealthy eating habits while thin, very obviously. That does not mean that those eating habits should be morally judged.

Unless the slim people you know are eating babies, moralising word choices like "greedy" are completely unreasonable. The same goes for fat people and people with average weight.

(And if they do, in fact, eat babies, don't post on mumsnet, call the police Wink)

ALaughAMinute · 05/12/2015 14:11

I'm slim and eat a lot but tend to prefer healthy foods to chocolate, cakes and fatty foods. I always say I can eat what I like but if I stuffed my face with chocolate and cakes all day I'd be fat just like anyone else.

Ive also got two dogs and walk two miles a day.

RoboticSealpup · 05/12/2015 14:15

YABU to give a shit what other people eat. I am skinny. Sometimes I eat loads, sometimes I am not hungry and have a small portion and regardless of what I do, people always have a fucking opinion about it.

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