To expect DSS to use cutlery?

[FullmoonHalfmoonTotaleclipse]

DSS is in year 8. He still uses his fingers whenever he can for eating non finger foods such as pasta in sauce or Yorkshire puddings covered in gravy (he has no additional needs precluding the use of a knife & fork).

I find this not only unpleasant to watch (as do his siblings who pick him up on it regularly) but afterwards he either wipes his fingers on his clothes, the seat cushion etc or we get stickiness/mess on the walls and door handles.

I feel embarrassed going out and about with a 12yo who constantly has food smears all over his clothing. DH doesn't seem that bothered by it but at DSS's age is it unreasonable to expect him to use cutlery and not be wiping his dirty fingers everywhere? I don't have DC of my own so am prepared to be told my expectations are too high.

ghostylovessheep have you tried your DD with a knork.

www.amazon.co.uk/Homecraft-Knork-Knife-Combination-Cutlery/dp/B0056PTYAQ

Mine who has one hand uses that.

My DSS is 8 and if he can get away with it will avoid cutting anything up; he'll use a fork to skewer whatever it is he's eating and then nibble it off the fork. Drives me bonkers - so I tell him he's eating like a savage and to use a knife. In the same way that I would tell DD the same thing. Your house, your rules - you have to sit there and watch it at the end of the day. (DSS and I have a very good relationship, and he usually just cuts the LARGEST piece he could possibly fit in his mouth and then shoves it in and grins at me. I pick my battles!)

And I do think it's failing in your obligation as a parent to get to the point where you have NT teenagers with terrible table manners. Who else is going to teach them?!

My 12 year-old does this. Both her siblings have dyspraxia but they can manage cutlery; she doesn't have dyspraxia but seems to prefer to eat with her fingers. Her dad and I both pull her up for it at every single meal, but so far it has made no difference. We have lots of other battles to deal with, so rarely pick this one.