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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this driver was a twat

241 replies

PunkrockerGirl · 04/12/2015 22:01

Driving home about 6pm, very busy main road, 30mph speed limit.
A cat ran out in front of me, I braked, the car behind went right into me.
I got out of the car to a tirade of abuse and that if anything happened to the baby in the car I would be responsible Confused
I gently suggested that she had been driving very close to me right up my arse but just got screamed at.
I asked if they'd called the police and they said that they had. In the meantime, I called dh and ds to come and be with me. The police didn't turn up because they hadn't been called. Loads of incensed and abusive relatives turned up instead.

My dh and ds came, police were called and (rightly so) an ambulance to check the baby over (who was beaming and being bounced up and down by the outraged mother when dh went to see if they were ok).
Anyway, I feel very shaken up but glad that nobody was hurt.

Anyway, aibu to think if you drive so close to the person in front that you can't stop in time when they brake, then baby or no baby on board, you are driving like a twat.
And to say you've called the police when in fact what you've done is called loads of relatives to swerve up and intimidate the person you've bashed into is about as low as it gets.

OP posts:
ComposHatComesBack · 05/12/2015 20:49

There is no debate to be had here: the tailgating driver is 100% responsible for the accident.

You're supposed to check your mirrors before you do an emergency stop.

No that's a manoeuvre known as 'stopping'

SirChenjin · 05/12/2015 20:55

Agree.

The only time insurance companies will argue the toss is if you're rear ended by multiple drivers - then they will argue who it was who actually hit you first and who knocked who into you, as I found out to my cost after it took me 18 months to recoup my excess Angry

Original poster
PunkrockerGirl · 05/12/2015 20:57

Grin at checking the mirrors before doing an emergency stop.
So if a child runs out in front of me, I should check the mirrors before slamming the brakes on Confused
Well I've heard it all now.

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 05/12/2015 21:00

ODFO At least I know that you don't perform an emergency stop for a cat unless you know it won't cause another vehicle to go into the back of you!

Had you have done this on your driving test you'd have failed straight away.

Permanentlyexhausted · 05/12/2015 21:07

At least I know that you don't perform an emergency stop for a cat unless you know it won't cause another vehicle to go into the back of you!

Then that wouldn't be an emergency stop, would it! It would just be stopping!

SirChenjin · 05/12/2015 21:12

Not necessarily - here's one driving school who thinks otherwise
prepare2pass.co.uk/driving-tips/emergency-stop-for-a-cat/

Leelu6 · 05/12/2015 21:14

Lunchpackofnotredame - if you're going to comment first can you make sure you don't talk out of your arse.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/12/2015 21:15

No it would be an emergency stop and if you were checking your mirrors regularly you would how close the car behind was to you and how likely it was to hit you.

You should only perform an emergency stop for a small animal if you're not going to endanger other road users.

limitedperiodonly · 05/12/2015 21:17

When you do an emergency stop, you don't look in your rear view mirror do you?

You just, er, stop.

Twindroops · 05/12/2015 21:21

Obviously the person tailgating was at fault, but, I'm half hoping she gets judge Rinder involved in a civil case, he'll sort the idiot out!

munkisocks · 05/12/2015 21:22

You do not check mirrors before an emergency stop. If a cat runs out into the road you're supposed to run it over however if she ran into the back of you she's at fault for being too close. Her baby if in a proper rear facing car seat should have been fine and if you were doing 30 she was obviously speeding therefore being too close. She was driving dangerously by not leaving enough room.

If a cat run in front of my car I would not stop. I would have done the same.

wasonthelist · 05/12/2015 21:23

Fairy - care for a little wager on the outcome of this one? After all, according to you (and about 2 other people jn the universe) the op was clearly at fault. I will put up £100 that says op's insurers don't have to pay a penny to the only person driving badly - the tailgater who hit op.

limitedperiodonly · 05/12/2015 21:28

This is a really interesting moral dilemma.

If someone really annoying had been right up your arse for miles and someone stepped out, what would you do if they were:

(a) Gandhi
(b) Hitler

TheFairyCaravan · 05/12/2015 21:28

I'm not saying she should have looked in her mirrors before she did the emergency stop. I'm saying she should have been looking in her mirrors regularly then she would have known the other car was there, how close it was and that it was too dangerous to do the emergency stop.

The other drivers insurance might pay out, it doesn't stop them taking out a civil case against the OP.

Original poster
PunkrockerGirl · 05/12/2015 21:28

FairyCaravan
As I said, I was fully aware that the driver behind me was too close. I was within the 30mph limit, she obviously had a problem with that and was tailgating me. I could have increased the space between us, but that would have made me exceed the speed limit. Why should I do that?

OP posts:
Permanentlyexhausted · 05/12/2015 21:32

Not necessarily Caravan. You don't drive with your eyes glued to the rear view mirror. You should check it every 7 seconds or so, but a lot can change in 7 seconds. So checking regularly is not the same as checking before you do an emergency stop which is what I and several others picked up on.

If you have the time to check between spotting the hazard and actually braking it is not an emergency stop.

Supermanspants · 05/12/2015 21:32

Yes she should have left more room but there again you don't expect someone to slam the anchors on for a cat

What a stupid comment.

PurpleGreenAvocado · 05/12/2015 21:36

It must be the night for it, I had to do an emergency stop because a tarpaulin blew into my windscreen and got caught on my wipers, idiot behind hit my car and shouted abuse at me for stopping for no fucking reason. I called the police who breathalysed him, fucker had been drinking. Tosser.

Permanentlyexhausted · 05/12/2015 21:39

I think the OP has made it very clear she knew the other driver was close behind her. That doesn't make it wrong for her to have made an emergency stop. If something shot out in front of me in the dark (the OPs incident happened at around 6pm, remember) my physical reaction to brake would be faster than my mental assessment of what the thing was. I may not come to a complete stop if I realised the thing was "unimportant", but I would still brake and a car following too close behind might well run into the back of me.

DancingDinosaur · 05/12/2015 21:40

She needed to be alert enough and far enough away not to hit you. You stopped for a cat but it could have been anything. She ran in to you. Her fault.

wasonthelist · 05/12/2015 21:40

, it doesn't stop them taking out a civil case against the OP.

Clutching at straws a bit now Fairy - £100 says they won't - or if they do, it fails.

wasonthelist · 05/12/2015 21:41

Exactly permantly - as would 99% of us on here.

Supermanspants · 05/12/2015 21:41

If something shot out in front of me in the dark (the OPs incident happened at around 6pm, remember) my physical reaction to brake would be faster than my mental assessment of what the thing was

Totally agree

Original poster
PunkrockerGirl · 05/12/2015 21:49

I'm just loving the thought of the civil case. Grin Driver tailgates, can't stop in time and bashes into the car in front. Police and insurers have apportioned blame, but hey, let's bring a civil case Grin Grin
Fairy just stop. You are making a complete arse of yourself. If you have any self respect, go find some legal/civil matters on another thread and share your wisdom on there. maybe you'll give them as much of a laugh as you have on here

OP posts:
ValiantMouse · 05/12/2015 21:54

I stopped suddenly today for a cat. The nice policeman going the other way stopped too to help me catch it.

Seriously, Lunch pack ,you'd rather run a cat over than brake? Bet you're the fucker who killed my house cat when she got out.