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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this driver was a twat

241 replies

PunkrockerGirl · 04/12/2015 22:01

Driving home about 6pm, very busy main road, 30mph speed limit.
A cat ran out in front of me, I braked, the car behind went right into me.
I got out of the car to a tirade of abuse and that if anything happened to the baby in the car I would be responsible Confused
I gently suggested that she had been driving very close to me right up my arse but just got screamed at.
I asked if they'd called the police and they said that they had. In the meantime, I called dh and ds to come and be with me. The police didn't turn up because they hadn't been called. Loads of incensed and abusive relatives turned up instead.

My dh and ds came, police were called and (rightly so) an ambulance to check the baby over (who was beaming and being bounced up and down by the outraged mother when dh went to see if they were ok).
Anyway, I feel very shaken up but glad that nobody was hurt.

Anyway, aibu to think if you drive so close to the person in front that you can't stop in time when they brake, then baby or no baby on board, you are driving like a twat.
And to say you've called the police when in fact what you've done is called loads of relatives to swerve up and intimidate the person you've bashed into is about as low as it gets.

OP posts:
wasonthelist · 05/12/2015 08:13

MrsM
In your driving test you fail if you don't check your rear view mirror before performing an emergency stop.
That's just plain, straightforward, utter, bollocks. You are 100% wrong.

mrsmugoo · 05/12/2015 08:13

This is one of those threads where the OP firmly believes they are in the right and nothing anyone can say will make them reconsider so I'm now bowing out!

Pepperpot99 · 05/12/2015 08:13

OP rest assured you were NOT in the wrong here; the driver behind you must ensure they are sufficiently distanced from you to be able to stop if the car ahead has to perform an emergency stop. My driving instructor made that v v clear when I was learning.

mrsmugoo · 05/12/2015 08:15

Yes I stand corrected on the driving test - the examiner checks the road is safe for you.

I believe that wasn't the case when I took my test 20 years ago though!

theycallmemellojello · 05/12/2015 08:16

Err the woman behind didn't act great, but she was clearly scared and shaken up. You don't expect to leave a rta with a new best friend.

Dipankrispaneven · 05/12/2015 08:17

What if had been a brick wall, deer etc with no lights.

That analogy doesn't work, due to the fact that you don't drive behind brick walls or deer. If a deer suddenly jumps out in front of you, you certainly wouldn't be at fault.

Dipankrispaneven · 05/12/2015 08:18

This is one of those threads where the OP firmly believes they are in the right and nothing anyone can say will make them reconsider so I'm now bowing out!

But she is in the right! I think the truth is, mrs mugoo, that this is one of those threads where you are the one swimming against the tide of opinion.

Dipankrispaneven · 05/12/2015 08:19

I believe that wasn't the case when I took my test 20 years ago though!

Well, it was the case when I took my test 30 years ago, and I don't believe that procedure changed and then changed back.

wasonthelist · 05/12/2015 08:21

This is one of those threads where the OP firmly believes they are in the right

It's also one of the rare ones where no sensible person would dispute that the op is in the right, as it's legally 100% clear cut.

Like most threads, it hasn't stopped a few posters making wildly inaccurate assertions of "facts" that don't exist.

OneHandFlapping · 05/12/2015 08:22

Anyone who when something runs into the road in front of them can

a) assess whether it's a cat, a dog or a toddler
b) whether it is safe to stop or whether a twat is driving too close
c) still manage to stop in time to avoid running over the dog/toddler ( but not the cat)

has faster reactions than I will ever have.

SevenOfNineTrue · 05/12/2015 08:24

I had a similar thing happen to me when I stopped at a crossing. The driver got out and screamed and shouted at me, calling me all the names under the sun, even though I stopped as someone was crossing the road at a pelican crossing (not sure if he wanted me to mow them down?)

wasonthelist · 05/12/2015 08:32

I acted as a witness for a van driver who I saw get rammed by an angry yoof driving a BMW. Poor van driver had stopped at a crossing. Shouty BMW yoof was sying stuff like "you can't just stop without warning" trying to indimidate the van driver into saying he was at fault. I helped van man (an older chap doing deliveries for local firm) get the right details and gave him my deatils for insurance. It does seem to be "a thing" for some people to assume, like the woman who hit the op, that it's everyone else's job to keep out of their way, and they can never be in the wrong, even when they are.

Op, you are 100 in the right here.

SoupDragon · 05/12/2015 08:34

I think that anyone who, when they see something run out in front of their car, doesn't have the immediate instinct to stop is dangerous.

As Onehandflapping says, it's impossible to make that judgement and still manage to avoid what is potentially a child.

GloriaSmellens · 05/12/2015 08:38

I love MN driving threads - everyone gets so smug and people walk onto a thread and declare this and that with such confidence that you would think they were the actual long arm of the law itself, only for someone a couple of posts later to say 'actually, that's total bollocks'.

It happens every time and its hilarious. What is it about driving that makes people so pompous?

wasonthelist · 05/12/2015 08:38

I agree Soup. In fact, you can fail your driving test if you DO check your mirrors on the emergency stop according to a couple of driving school sites.

FellOffMyUnicorn · 05/12/2015 08:39

poster swisscheesetony , you're screwed now, at the time you could have done something, but its your word against hers. UNLESS you report it and shes done it to other people

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT if her brake lights weren't working ffs

The OP was not in the wrong, dont drive so close you need a condom, and you wont go up the car in fronts arse if they have to stop for any reason, a cat, a spider and fucking leaf!

www.morayclaims.co.uk/if-someone-runs-into-the-back-of-you-is-it-always-their-fault/

What the Highway Code says

The Highway Code (para. 126), in relation to Stopping Distances, recommends that “you should drive at a speed that will allow you to stop well within the distance you can see to be clear.

You should leave enough space between you and the vehicle in front so that you can pull up safely if it suddenly slows down or stops.

Allow at least a two-second gap between you and the vehicle in front on roads carrying faster-moving traffic and in tunnels where visibility is reduced.

The gap should be at least doubled on wet roads and increased still further on icy roads.”

It also points out that large vehicles and motorcycles need a greater distance to stop.

How Difficult it is to Blame the Driver in Front …

An English case decided in the Court of Appeal in 2011 illustrates how rare it is for courts to blame the driver of the car in front where it has been hit from behind.

There was not actually a collision between the vehicles here but the principles are the same.

On 31 July 2008, 69-year-old Valerie Steadman was a passenger on a London United Busways (LUB) 49 bus on Kensington High Street in London.

The bus was immediately behind a Ferrari sports car, driven by a Mr Sala.

Suddenly, the bus driver braked hard, causing Mrs Steadman to be thrown from her seat and suffer a serious spinal injury, resulting in tetraplegia.

The bus driver claimed that the Ferrari had braked without warning, requiring him to do an emergency stop to avoid a collision.

Mr Sala was not aware of any accident at the time and was only traced by the police sometime later. He denied that he had braked suddenly or done anything to cause the accident.

Mrs Steadman’s claim was against LUB but they tried to pass the blame onto Mr Sala.

The court had to decide whether the accident was the fault of the Ferrari or of the bus driver or a combination of the two.

The evidence included the two drivers, various other eye witnesses, experts and footage from CCTV cameras.

Bus driver entirely to blame

The court’s conclusion was that the accident was solely the fault of the bus driver.

Due to his impatience (which had led him to sound his horn on two occasions before the incident happened), the bus had been driven too close to the car in front, meaning that the bus driver did not have enough time to react to what was happening in front of him.

The judge said that Mr Sala’s main focus reasonably had to be on what was happening in front of him rather than behind him.

It was inconceivable that Mr Sala would have braked deliberately; he would not have put himself or his expensive vehicle at serious risk of being struck by a bus and, as a doctor, he would not have exposed the bus driver and passengers to risk of injury.

Can a Car Accident Ever be the Fault of the Car in Front?

The answer is “yes”, though the accident is unlikely ever to be wholly the fault of the vehicle in front.

A recent Scottish example is to be found in the case of Bellingham –v- Todd.

In that case, various relatives of a 40-year-old motorcyclist who died as the result of a collision on the A71 in Ayrshire claimed against the driver of a van which had been in front of the motorcyclist immediately before the accident.

The van driver had braked sharply when the pick-up truck in front of him had stopped to turn right at a junction.

The motorcyclist had had to swerve to avoid the van but had clipped it and lost control, ending up in the path of oncoming traffic.

The court took the view that the motorcyclist had been too close to the van but that the van driver had failed to pay proper attention to the traffic in front of him and carried out emergency braking for no good reason.

This meant that the family’s claim was successful.

However, the motorcyclist was still held to be 80% to blame and so the recovery was of only 20% of the assessed damages.

wasonthelist · 05/12/2015 08:47

What is it about driving that makes people so pompous?
Speaking personally, I don't need a driving thread to make me pompous.
I think it's (driving) something a lot of people do often, and almost everyone likes to think they are good at.

steppemum · 05/12/2015 08:55

it is legally the responsibility of the car behind to leave enough room to brake. Her insurance will have to pay for your damage, and hers.

Ignore her tirade, you were not at fault. The cat is irrelevant, it could have been a child, and out of her line of vision.

limitedperiodonly · 05/12/2015 08:57

I'm so glad the cat got away scot free OP Wink

When something runs across the road close in front of you, you'd need superpowers to be able to slow down time in your brain to think: 'WTF is that? Is it a child? Oh no, it's just a cat. I'll mow it down so as not to inconvenience the daft cow who's right up my arse.'

You didn't do anything wrong. The woman who hit you and her bonkers family who turned up mob-handed to be abusive however...

You've exchanged details, I suppose?

steppemum · 05/12/2015 09:03

I was watching one of the police camera type programs a while ago.
There was a motorway pile up, the policeman was talking to the drivers of the cars at the back who had all stopped, and were safe, but had bumped into each other and all the drivers were saying

It was so sudden, there was nothing you could do, you just braked and hit the person in front.
The policeman said, - so you were driving too close?
No, no, there was nothing anyone could do, it was so sudden
So you were too, close, not enough braking room?
No really, no-one would have had time to brake
So, you were too close to brake, so if you had left braking distance and not been so close you would have had time to brake

cue really confused looks from the motorists.

Most people do not leave braking room, and they don't understand why that is their fault.

londonrach · 05/12/2015 09:04

Dipant. I dont know about you but you do have to look out for free ranging brick walls on wheels where i live..Grin. (Joking). Silly examples i know (early morning, my brain wasnt switched on) but i was trying to say not every hazard has lights and the driver has to be aware of whats on the road, although the other driver was in the wrong with no lights, cheese should have noticed she was getting closer to the car.

FellOffMyUnicorn · 05/12/2015 09:11

but Cheese could not have avoided hitting her if cheese didnt know how quickly she was slowing down, the first indication we get of someone stopping is their brakelights going on, without that its a lot harder to see a car stopping (thats pretty much why we have them,,,,?)

eternalopt · 05/12/2015 09:15

This is one of those threads where the OP firmly believes they are in the right and nothing anyone can say will make them reconsider so I'm now bowing out!

The OP has only posted twice!! Once with the original story and once to confirm the cat was OK.

limitedperiodonly · 05/12/2015 09:43

The policeman said, - so you were driving too close?

I'd be mightily pissed off with that policeman if he lectured me after the accident I had steppemum.

I stopped in time. Sadly the person behind me didn't and shunted me into the car in front then someone else shunted us a bit more.

I was okay. My car, not so much.

SuffolkNWhat · 05/12/2015 09:51

My DF was in a line of cars that had an accident. 5 cars in front of him hit the cars that had stopped. DF and the car behind him left decent stopping distances so didn't hit anything. Then the 3 cara behind the car behind Dad (keeping up?) all shunted together. Dad was a lone car in a long line that was untouched.

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