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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this driver was a twat

241 replies

PunkrockerGirl · 04/12/2015 22:01

Driving home about 6pm, very busy main road, 30mph speed limit.
A cat ran out in front of me, I braked, the car behind went right into me.
I got out of the car to a tirade of abuse and that if anything happened to the baby in the car I would be responsible Confused
I gently suggested that she had been driving very close to me right up my arse but just got screamed at.
I asked if they'd called the police and they said that they had. In the meantime, I called dh and ds to come and be with me. The police didn't turn up because they hadn't been called. Loads of incensed and abusive relatives turned up instead.

My dh and ds came, police were called and (rightly so) an ambulance to check the baby over (who was beaming and being bounced up and down by the outraged mother when dh went to see if they were ok).
Anyway, I feel very shaken up but glad that nobody was hurt.

Anyway, aibu to think if you drive so close to the person in front that you can't stop in time when they brake, then baby or no baby on board, you are driving like a twat.
And to say you've called the police when in fact what you've done is called loads of relatives to swerve up and intimidate the person you've bashed into is about as low as it gets.

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 05/12/2015 09:57

You were in the right OP. I would expect anyone to instinctively brake if something runs out in front of them. It is the duty of the car behind you to leave enough of a stopping distance to be able to stop in time if you have to make an emergency stop.

enterthedragon · 05/12/2015 10:02

To the person who questioned summoning the police, the driver behind had her baby in the car iirc the police must be informed immediately if a minor is involved in an accident, also iirc with regards to the cat you should not attempt an emergency stop where by doing so could cause an accident.

Having said that tailgating at 30mph is immensely irresponsible to say the least, and the driver is at fault.

ProvisionallyAnxious · 05/12/2015 10:07

I'd be mightily pissed off with that policeman if he lectured me after the accident I had steppemum.

Well, you'd say to the police no, I left enough room but then I got shunted forward. I'm assuming the questions were part of the police officer's job of ascertaining what happened!

NicoleWatterson · 05/12/2015 10:14

I thought you had to leave enough room at all times so if the person in front did an emergency stop, there's enough room to stop.

I'd brake for a cat, to be honest it would take longer for my brain to work out the species, decide the legal side of stopping, then to think 'shit brakkkkkkkkkke somethings run out'
I know the dog rule, but like I say it is brake if something ran out, it's a natural reaction.

i was always taught to leave a safe gap which most people on the m25 seem to forget to stop.
Always assume the other driver is an idiot (not saying you are OP, I thought you were right to stop) and you'll be ok on the road!

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/12/2015 10:18

I have found that what is legal and what the insurance companies say is often two very different things.

I suspect that the insurance companies will apportion some if not half of the blame to the op.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/12/2015 10:20

LunchPack is right. The OP presented a danger to the driver behind and as such has caused issues around who is responsible.

You're supposed to check your mirrors before you do an emergency stop. Did she do that? If you do an emergency stop for a cat or other small animal on your driving test it's a major fault and a straight fail due causing danger to other drivers.

This isn't black and white.

LyndaNotLinda · 05/12/2015 10:53

No, you're not supposed to check the mirrors before performing an emergency stop!

FFS - if you did that, you'd have run over the child/dog/old lady by the time you'd checked and braked.

And you'd fail your test if you checked the mirrors before stopping. The clue is in the word emergency

Sistedtwister · 05/12/2015 10:55

The OP did not present the danger, nor did she cause the accident, neither did the cat. The part behind driving too close presented the danger and caused the accident.

If you've time to look in your mirrors assess the proximity of the car behind and then brake in time it's not a bloody emergency stop.

BoomBoomsCousin · 05/12/2015 11:25

Some of you seem to apply really low standards to your driving. If you're driving well you don't check your mirror for an emergency stop because you will have been checking your mirrors regularly and so you will already be aware of where other cars are on the road in relation to you. So unless the car had come up suddenly out of nowhere the OP ought to have been well aware she was being tailgated and been thinking about how that a should affect her driving. As someone said upthread, if you slow down it can just cause more problems because the driver behind you gets more agitated (especially true on fast roads), but it should make you much more cautious about sharp breaking.

This is all a bit nit picky though. The other driver should not have been tailgating - it's by far the more basic fault, that the OP had not adjusted her driving to make up for this glaring error is not the main reason for the crash. And after the accident happened she shouldn't have harangued the OP, lied about calling the police and then allowed her family to abuse the OP too.

limitedperiodonly · 05/12/2015 11:28

Well, you'd say to the police no, I left enough room but then I got shunted forward. I'm assuming the questions were part of the police officer's job of ascertaining what happened!

ProvisionallyAnxious when taking statements, the police do not pass judgement or deliver lectures. Or they shouldn't. The purpose is to gather evidence, not to tell people off.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/12/2015 11:31

Ok, I got it wrong about the mirrors but she was wrong about the cat, hence the link, and obviously hadn't been checking in her mirrors hence she would have known the other driver was too near to her and she was causing danger to them by doing the emergency stop for the cat.

BoomBoomsCousin · 05/12/2015 11:35

Police often "tell people off" (though I'm sure they'd call it "giving advice" or "educating the public"), especially over driving. But the officer isn't reported telling anyone off, but asking repeatedly if the driver was driving too close. That's an evidence gathering technique to get further admissions or evidence to support or challenge the charge that the driver was in deed driving too close.

Agent160 · 05/12/2015 12:37

The OP wasn't causing a danger to the other driver by doing an emergency stop; the other driver was a danger to themselves and others by tailgating.

What if it hasn't been a cat? - What if it was a child? Or the steering wheel has just come off in the driver's hand? Or a medical emergency within the OP's car? When does it become acceptable to stop and cause an accident, and when is it not?

Should the OP have assessed that the car behind was too close and just ploughed into a child so as to avoid a car crash?

No matter where you are driving, and no matter what the speed, you should always be prepared for the driver in front to suddenly come to a complete stop. That's the whole point of stopping distances. If they couldn't suddenly stop without you hitting them then you are too close. It doesn't matter whether they've seen you in the mirror or not, emergencies happen.

If the other driver was so worried about the safety of her baby when in the car, an assessment of her own driving skills should have been her first consideration.

SoupDragon · 05/12/2015 12:44

pmsl at a no win no fee personal injury website being held up as proof of anything...

SoupDragon · 05/12/2015 12:45

Car behind was driving too close to the OPs car. That is all that matters and that is the only reason she went into the back of the OPs car.

Pedestriana · 05/12/2015 12:47

Some interesting opinions on driving here!

I tend to assume that everyone else is going to drive like a twat. Therefore I stick to the speed limit - if none is displayed, I stick to 30 unless I see signage to indicate differently (there is a stretch of road near me where the signs have been removed. It's 40, I now know, but it's just beyond a roundabout and built up area, so not obviously so). I tend to assume that people will just walk out in front of me, or other car drivers are texting, etc.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 05/12/2015 12:50

FGS. The law says that the person BEHIND is at fault for not leaving enough stopping distance. So much bullshit on this thread.

FellOffMyUnicorn · 05/12/2015 13:15

so the fact the info came from a no win no fee means its incorrect does it? Hmm

Quoting the highway code and precedent obviously means nothing then....

TheFairyCaravan · 05/12/2015 13:31

Oh, yes how funny that solicitors know the law! I'm PMSL, oh wait... Hmm

ivykaty44 · 05/12/2015 13:37

Don't you just love that a cat can become a red herring on an mn thread where the op was legally correct

TheFairyCaravan · 05/12/2015 13:41

From The Go Safe Book of Learner Driving

MoreKopparbergthanKrug · 05/12/2015 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

limitedperiodonly · 05/12/2015 14:03

Threads where people who don't practise law but give advice anyway always remind me of

MoreKopparbergthanKrug · 05/12/2015 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsMims · 05/12/2015 14:51

OP, you did nothing wrong.

I would always brake for an animal on a 30mph road. I'd rather claim for repairs on a tailgater's insurance than kill someone's pet.

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