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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this driver was a twat

241 replies

PunkrockerGirl · 04/12/2015 22:01

Driving home about 6pm, very busy main road, 30mph speed limit.
A cat ran out in front of me, I braked, the car behind went right into me.
I got out of the car to a tirade of abuse and that if anything happened to the baby in the car I would be responsible Confused
I gently suggested that she had been driving very close to me right up my arse but just got screamed at.
I asked if they'd called the police and they said that they had. In the meantime, I called dh and ds to come and be with me. The police didn't turn up because they hadn't been called. Loads of incensed and abusive relatives turned up instead.

My dh and ds came, police were called and (rightly so) an ambulance to check the baby over (who was beaming and being bounced up and down by the outraged mother when dh went to see if they were ok).
Anyway, I feel very shaken up but glad that nobody was hurt.

Anyway, aibu to think if you drive so close to the person in front that you can't stop in time when they brake, then baby or no baby on board, you are driving like a twat.
And to say you've called the police when in fact what you've done is called loads of relatives to swerve up and intimidate the person you've bashed into is about as low as it gets.

OP posts:
NorbertDentressangle · 04/12/2015 22:33

"but there again you don't expect someone to slam the anchors on for a cat."

Totally disagree! If something/someone runs out in front of you it's a natural instinctive response to brake.

Only tonight I braked (as did the car coming the opposite direction) when something ran across in front of us. It was dark, there were headlights coming the other way too so even now I don't know whether it was a fox or a dog but we both braked.

In that situation you don't have time to think and make a decision eg. " oh look there's something running out in front of me ....I'd better brake as it's a dog/ it's only a fox I won't bother braking" Hmm

PolterGoose · 04/12/2015 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nishky · 04/12/2015 22:34

pictish Grin

Go on the lunchpack -please provide a link to a news report of someone being convicted of dangerous driving due to stopping for a cat

pictish · 04/12/2015 22:34

Yes you are.

WhispersOfWickedness · 04/12/2015 22:35

The fact that it's a cat is completely irrelevant, if it had been a person, she still would have gone into the back of the OP, therefore she was too close.

Marshy · 04/12/2015 22:35

As a driver you should be able to stop safety if the driver in front brakes suddenly. If you can't, you are in the wrong. Each driver is responsible for their own driving. You can't blame someone else because they braked suddenly!

Samcro · 04/12/2015 22:35

Brokenwardrobe i don't think the op was in the wrong(stopping distance and all that) but I don't get the bit about her ringing her dh and ds and the other person ringing people.....

Brokenwardrobe · 04/12/2015 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGoose · 04/12/2015 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skullyton · 04/12/2015 22:38

the reason for the emergency stop is irrelevant.

If you don't leave enough distance between you and the car in front in the event of sudden braking. YOU ARE DRIVING TOO CLOSE.

there is no further discussion required. its really that simple.

GiraffeHouse · 04/12/2015 22:39

I am told it is always the fault of the person behind if they go into you because they were too close.
Several cars went into the back of me once because it was very icy and each car driver claimed off the person immediately behind them. Fortunately I wasn't shunted into the car in front of me so my insurance wasn't affected. It's all about stopping distances.

honeyroar · 04/12/2015 22:41

Officially you aren't meant to stop or swerve for an animal, I think. The only difference between a cat and a dog is that you have to report hitting a dog but not a cat, for some reason. That said, I would expect that a large percentage of the population would brake for an animal (because they're nice!) and so it would be stupid to be up their rear end. In my opinion it's absolutely stupid to drive so close to the car in front that you can't stop. So many people do nowadays. Don't they teach stopping distances nowadays?

CountryRoadTakeMeHome · 04/12/2015 22:41

Lunchpack your a sandwich short! Where an earth did you get the idea OP should legally hit the cat Xmas Shock One may want to take drivers refresher course (and yes I'm a fully trained driving instructor!).

Yanbu they should not have been that close. Although I'm well aware of the recent (in years) insurance scammers that 'force' accidents.

EskiDecaff · 04/12/2015 22:42

atsea I assume because there were potential injuries. You ring the police if anybody is injured

OpheliaMoo · 04/12/2015 22:42

She shouldn't have been so close to you - her fault. Admit no liability at all

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 04/12/2015 22:42

You should do all you can to minimise the risk of an accident

It's about risk assessing what's going to cause more harm to human life. Would slamming the brakes on do more damage or would hitting the cat?

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 04/12/2015 22:44

I'm not scarpering I'm off to bed and will return with a better link tomorrow Grin

WhatTheHellDoIDoNoww · 04/12/2015 22:45

DH and I have both been rear ended. According to the insurance co, it is ALWAYS the person behind at fault. OP could have had to break for a child or a sudden obstruction in the road, it is irrelevant that she breaked for a cat as any normal human being would!

OpheliaMoo · 04/12/2015 22:45

Oh and when I was rear-end shunted with 4mo baby in the back, I also called DH as I was injured and in shock (DD fine). Witnesses had already called the Police but I wanted someone familiar with me. I don't think anything wrong with calling relatives for support if everything else done as well.

Although a posse of family might be a bit weird!!

EskiDecaff · 04/12/2015 22:45

lunchi guess op made the best judgement at the time with the info they had. She should have been able to stop without being hit...

WhatTheHellDoIDoNoww · 04/12/2015 22:48

brake not break.

DH stopped at red traffic lights but the woman behind obviously had her head up her arse didn't.

I slowed down on approaching a roundabout as had the traffic in front of me, but the woman behind didn't.

somepeopledontknowthat · 04/12/2015 22:49

DH was hit on a main road when someone pulled out of a junction without looking.

He called half his family to come down but they were all lovely, as was he.

Dontlaugh · 04/12/2015 22:50

Always person behind at fault. ALWAYS. Should be braking room left.
Nevertheless, the local wisdom suggests never braking for wildlife/pets. That advice does not negate the first advice.

StackladysMorphicResonator · 04/12/2015 22:53

I heart pictish! Well said.

Lunch - do some proper research and back up your argument with proof which you can't because you're talking out of your bottom before you suddenly become 'too tired' to continue MNing Hmm

HunterHearstHelmsley · 04/12/2015 22:56

You don't have to report hitting a dog anymore. It was when there were dog licences.

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