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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think that people are using being offended to try and negate others

138 replies

Ohbehave1 · 04/12/2015 16:52

What is it about people being offended these days. Another thread on here says that someone was offended because someone else called their parents idiots. Someone is offended because of a jumper that says OCD -Obsessive Christmas Disorder and wants it banned. Christians are offended at this and Muslims at that so they should be banned.

Whatever happened to being allowed an opinion. Or being funny. It seems that the "I'm offended" brigade only exist because there are idiots out there that will listen to them and pander to their needs.

I am not saying that people should be allowed to be abusive or incite harts but there needs to be some common sense applied.

AIBU to think whatever happened to the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?"

OP posts:
Owllady · 04/12/2015 18:09

I agree ego. I think the immediate nature of type and social media makes things more complicated.

Original poster
Ohbehave1 · 04/12/2015 18:12

Ego. I agree that you should not deliberately try and upset someone else.

But using the example of the scan pictures, nobody would share their joy of a scan picture because we all know someone who is affected by infertility or miscarriage. I know only too well. My twins took 121/2 years of trying and many trips to find out what was wrong. But I would not be offended by others pictures of scans or their newborn children.

OP posts:
Supermanspants · 04/12/2015 18:13

I agree to a point Ego* but the expectation for people to be constantly sensitive to other's misfortunes is exhausting.
I do not know a single person who is not dealing with some sort of misfortune/issue.
I have had dreadful things to deal with but ho hum. . . So have many, many other people.

user789653241 · 04/12/2015 18:14

I don't think it's anything about walking on eggshells. I just think once somebody was offended by something on the thread, with good reason(in this case OCD), people should think about what they say before posting.

I do agree you are free to express your opinion, but if everybody had a little bit of sympathy and understanding for each other, it doesn't turn out to be so bad.

BertrandRussell · 04/12/2015 18:14

"As I said, a friend that has tried to kill herself several times because of her OCD finds the jumper hilarious. She thinks people that are offended by it have no sense of humour."

Ooh, OP! Do you have lots of black friends who collect gollywogs and think it's hilarious when you call them Sambo or mah nigga? And they call you ma honkie right back? And do all the Asian people at work talk about going down to the paki shop to buy a sandwich? And all your gay friends- I bet they love it when you do your Mr Humphries impersonation, don't they?

Original poster
Ohbehave1 · 04/12/2015 18:17

Very funny Bertrand. Makes me chuckle when people make assumptions.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2015 18:17

I don't think it's anything about walking on eggshells. Well that's how it feels to me.

Cloppysow · 04/12/2015 18:18

I think the whole "offense is taken, not given" is a bullshit excuse. It's basically victim blaming.

MusicalFanjo · 04/12/2015 18:19

There was a thread about someone who had been offended because a friend posted pictures of a pregnancy scan (or something similar) on FB

This for me is why intent is very important. I had friends announce pregnancies after I had experienced my 2nd MC. Yes it upset me a little bit but I couldn't possibly have been offended because that wasn't the intentions of my friends. It's odd to be offended when no offence is meant. It's even more strange to be offended on behalf of someone else.

HermioneWeasley · 04/12/2015 18:19

I saw this and thought I'd leave it here....

to think that people are using being offended to try and negate others
user789653241 · 04/12/2015 18:19

Sparklingbrook, why? I truly don't get it.

Original poster
Ohbehave1 · 04/12/2015 18:19

Irvine101. Isn't what you are saying exactly what I am talking about? If someone has been offended should I change my view? I haven't been rude or abusive. Just stated what I would do in that situation. And what my views on parenting are ( which is why this place exists )

OP posts:
Egosumquisum · 04/12/2015 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannaBe · 04/12/2015 18:22

perhaps the difference though is that some things are meant to be offensive whereas others aren't and therefore are subjective. so -

To refer to someone as a ret*rd or equivalent is generally meant as an insult and is of course offensive.

Similarly with racist language, people use the terms as insults and therefor the offence is very clear.

But someone posting a scan picture on facebook is not offensive just because other people have fertility issues. Yes people with fertility issues may be upset by seeing it because of what they don't have, but it's not offensive, and no-one should feel that they have to keep quiet about their pregnancy, something which is a fact of life, just because it might upset someone else. In that instance if someone is upset by a scan picture or the sight of pregnant women or babies then the onus needs to be on them to remove themselves from situations where they can come across these things. Because pregnancy and birth are facts of life. The need to hurl insults at the disabled and other races are not.

Fairenuff · 04/12/2015 18:23

Hermione that man makes himself look ignorant and ridiculous. Is he ok with that do you think?

ifgrandmahadawilly · 04/12/2015 18:25

Actually it's not the fact that people Take offence that's the problem - we all have issues we are sensitive about; we all get offended sometimes. ITS peoples reaction to Being offended that's the problem. People really seem to think that they have a right to go through life without having to hear or read anything that they find challenging.

Excuse the random caps, my phone has gone nuts.

Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2015 18:25

Because everything seems to offend someone irvine. This is me on MN sometimes.

to think that people are using being offended to try and negate others
Owllady · 04/12/2015 18:26

I agree ego. I have been on the receiving end (in real life) of some openly aggressive offensive stuff which was intended that way, but I've also been on the receiving end if just clumsy stuff
I use my filter accordingly. Real life is different because body language, tone of voice, manner, is all there, so intention is usually easy to work out.

I think we all have the capacity to be offensive, it's not
a bad thing to recognise that

Sorry my daughter
Keeps
Elbowing me Confused

user789653241 · 04/12/2015 18:26

"If someone has been offended should I change my view?"

No, of course not. I just think these kind of topic(illness/ racial) should be handled with care.

KeepOnMoving1 · 04/12/2015 18:29

Yanbu everything is offensive these days. Some precious will always seek out offense. And you can choose to be offended.

Egosumquisum · 04/12/2015 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Owllady · 04/12/2015 18:34

I want to be friends with you ego :o

Original poster
Ohbehave1 · 04/12/2015 18:34

I think some have put things far more elegantly than I have (or could)

Intent is the real issue. If you say something to someone deliberately to hurt their feelings or to be abusive then you are wrong

OP posts:
user789653241 · 04/12/2015 18:36

Sorry Sparklingbrook

Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2015 18:37

What for irvine?

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