to think that people are using being offended to try and negate others

[Ohbehave1]

What is it about people being offended these days. Another thread on here says that someone was offended because someone else called their parents idiots. Someone is offended because of a jumper that says OCD -Obsessive Christmas Disorder and wants it banned. Christians are offended at this and Muslims at that so they should be banned.

Whatever happened to being allowed an opinion. Or being funny. It seems that the "I'm offended" brigade only exist because there are idiots out there that will listen to them and pander to their needs.

I am not saying that people should be allowed to be abusive or incite harts but there needs to be some common sense applied.

AIBU to think whatever happened to the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?"

Irvine. No I didn't find it offensive - just ill informed as I had yet to answer........

I think it's an overused word. Yes, some people are bigots. And they should be challenged. But half the time, especially online and especially on this site, when people say 'that's offensive' what would be more appropriate would be to say 'that's stupid'.

Pepper. Resort to insults if you want. I never said that I didn't think it could be upsetting to a child. But we need to help our children learn to live with things they don't like because quite frankly life can be shit.

And yes I do know what it is really like. I worked with the friend in questions husband. I saw them every day and we went on holiday with them. I saw their marriage slowly fall apart because he couldn't cope with the constant washing of clothes and her obsession of locking people in at work when she left (driving 25 miles back to work late at night because she was positive she had - this was a weekly occurrence ). To see her want to kill herself (thankfully failing on each attempt) because of the thoughts of every piece of underwear being dirty and making her ill. I can go on if you want.

OK. If you think you it's ok to express your opinion even if it could be offensive to others, I'm allowed to say I find your post heartless.
I don't know you, you might be really nice person.
It's only my opinion. .

I do think that it is up to us as parents to ensure that our children are taught how to deal with things that upset them.

So what would you teach your children then OP? To speak out and say that they feel offended or to silently suck it up?

I find it interesting that people are offended on behalf of others. I have OCD - I am not offended. Don't like something too bad - move on.

I think you're being disingenuous op.

And you're insulted by my comments? But I thought you said people choose what to be insulted by! Different rule for you I guess.

hiding thread now.

IMO the issue isn't about people being personally offended, but people being offended on behalf of others thus creating the illusion that certain terms and phrases etc are offensive.

E.g. a few years ago a newspaper printed an article about a town (I can't remember which) who changed the term Christmas to winterville because the term Christmas would be offensive to muslims. Q much uproar that muslims are getting up in arms about us daring to use the term Christmas in our own country, and they should all go back to where they came from, etc etc. However if you read into it in more depth, it turns out that the decision to ban Christmas was made by some burocrat (sp?) sitting in his council office, and deciding that this term might be offensive to Muslims and therefore should be changed. Afaik no actual muslims were consulted during this process.

That being said, when I was on the PTA we did have an actual request from a parent to change the name of the Christmas disco to the winter disco because her husband wouldn't let their dd attend otherwise due to his strict beliefs. She was told in no uncertain terms that it wouldn't be happening. But such real offence is rare.

Similarly, I am VI. The number of people who believe that it is offensive to use the words watch, look, see etc around people with visual impairments is unbelievable, and yet I don't know a single VI person who would be offended by those terms. In fact not using them just makes it blatantly obvious that people are treating us differently.

So while I think that personal offence is one thing and is subjective, I do think that people need to think carefully before becoming offended on behalf of others about who they probably know very little.

The transactivists certainly use this tactic to silence any and all discussion of feminist issues ("You can't say that transwomen have male bodies! That's transphobic!"), which annoys me a great deal and there should be some common sense applied.

I think considering jokes about OCD offensive is much more justified. Not being "allowed" to joke about something doesn't mean you cannot talk about it.

I like that Stephen Fry quote, the jist of which is being 'offended' is just an opinion it gives you no special rights

Pepper. I guess you won't read this as I appear to have offended you. I was never offended by you comment. I think it was a little insulting to say you question my intelligence simply because my point of view is different to you but that was it.

At no point have I resorted to insults......

I think that there are some people who delight in finding offence as it gives them the chance to be all holier-than-thou.

I think insults and such should never be tolerated, but a funny play on words wouldn't bother me, and yes, I do think sometimes we need to teach our children to suck it up. No one has pointed at them and hurled abuse. If a general, not aimed directly at you, meant to be lighthearted comment makes your child distraught then I think they need to grow a thicker skin.

It's like walking on eggshells on here these days. Could do with a list of what is and isn't allowed.

This thread is going well :o

Honestly, I've stopped posting so much (and I didn't post much anyway) because it's making me feel like shit

I turned off the minute you mentioned the word 'brigade'

YANBU
This whole woe is me bollox winds me up. You know what. . . People have shit in their lives for many different reasons. . . . There was a thread about someone who had been offended because a friend posted pictures of a pregnancy scan (or something similar) on FB and they were dealing with infertility.
I can't believe anyone would be offended by an Xmas jumper FFS.

Yanbu OP. Its almost become a game of one-upmanship. It seems to be used in two ways - either to signalsignal supposed moral superiority / virtuousness or just to shut down debate.

It's definitely more of more of a problem on Mumsnet than in real life. I don't know how some people on here get through the day the amount of things they get mortally offended by.

Tbh I have thought of leaving the place due to the general prissiness and preciousness of the site recently but part of me just finds the general mentalness of Mumsnet fascinating!

The word 'brigade' is so poncy isn't it

Ray

I'm not 'offended'. Just noticing the irony of someone who argues that people are negating the expression of opinions, by using a term (brigade) that generalises about people's motivations.

wannaBe that's not true - it was never anything to do with avoiding offending people - that was all made up by the papers. It was in Birmingham, and it was a branding of all the winter festivals, with Christmas at its heart but also including Children in Need, New Year, Diwali, etc. The idea was that they could promote a single brand that would get people into the city centre over a long period, rather than promoting the city's events separately. It is completely untrue that it was because people were afraid of Muslims being offended at the word Christmas and was never meant to be a rebranding of Christmas.