to not want to spend another Xmas day with PiL?

[peppansalt]

Right; for my sins we live next door to PiL. DH has 2 brothers, one reasonably local, one 2 hours away (both have own families).

My DM lives locally but alternates Xmas between me and my DB (lives 4 hours away)

My beef is that every bleeding Xmas day we are expected to have PiL here. One BiL says he MUST spend Xmas day with his wife's family and the other just frankly can't be bothered . So they keep their heads down and assume we'll host PiL

Wouldn't be so bad if they were more easy going but they are really hard work! They don't get on brilliantly with my DM and the atmosphere can be excruciating.

Well this year I want to have Xmas lunch at DM's house but DH doesn't want to "leave his parents out" as otherwise they'll be on their own!
He wants lunch here with yet again everyone coming and me going into melt down about cooking lunch -(v judgy pants MiL!) Can already feel blood pressure escalating.

Would suggest that maybe PiL cooked but MiL isn't in brilliant health and am sure she wouldn't want to do it. Also awkward about inviting DM to join us.

Aargh, sorry just venting really! AIBU?

[Chattymummyhere]

Just go to your mums op.

Ive already discussed next year with dh as for the last 3/4 years we have always gone to pils for dinner and next year we will have three children and I've said we are staying at home everyone is welcome to visit in the morning for the present opening but after that I just want a relaxing day at home not driving about loading presents and children into the car.

[MrsLupo]

Hmm, I think you have three options: go on holiday for Christmas, move house, or stop letting your DH tell you what to do.

YANBU to want to do things differently this year OP, but YABU to act as though you don't have any choice in the matter.

[lavenderhoney]

Just say you're be at your mums, and although obviously it would be nice for him to be supportive just as you have been over the last few years, if he chooses to go over to them/ host then that's up to him. Turn your phone off.

And next year - same. You all get to choose or have it at home and have open house Boxing Day for all of them and film it?:)

Do not tidy up the kitchen if he does host, or dash about buying food, and if he is cooking stay well out if it and have a cheese sandwich beforehand. I had a friend who held the most distastrous dinners and I always ate something before turning up.

And don't email the siblings - call:) you'll get honest answers that way, as to why they don't do Christmas with their parents, and also you could invite them to you and their pils or something. I love a big house party:)