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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think all babies should be DNA tested at birth

314 replies

ohagape · 04/12/2015 10:25

After reading that awful thread in step parenting where the poor guy wasn't even his 'sons' father and handed loads of money over to the horrible sounding mother, I really think all babies should be DNA tested as soon as they are born with the potential father/s, whether from a good relationship or not.

It would save a lot of heartbreak and wasted time and money. It can easily be told by blood types. My whole life my mum told me I had a different blood type. Then when I found out at my booking bloods and told her she got really confused about my dad's blood type. I really thought my dad wasn't my dad so he went and did a DNA test to reassure me. AIBU to think this should be a routine thing at all births and father's name shouldn't be on the birth certificate until it's done?

OP posts:
squoosh · 04/12/2015 14:14

Yes that's it swiggity, we're all just terrified the big secret will be revealed. That the father of our second born is in fact the BT broadband guy. Or was it the Npower guy.......

squoosh · 04/12/2015 14:15

Sorry mrsjane!

mrsjanedoe · 04/12/2015 14:15

no squoosh, it was the plumber

sh................

mrsjanedoe · 04/12/2015 14:16
Xmas Wink
Gileswithachainsaw · 04/12/2015 14:19

I don't care if it's non invasive. it's another person touching your baby in a hospital.

my baby was very sick very soon after her birth and I honesty believe that if she'd been left alone shed have been ok. too many people in an environment full of sick people touching vulnerable babies is a risk.

people give north in all sorts of states. including whilst suffering from stomach bugs, all other kinds of contagious conditions. I would not trust my local hospital where hand gel dispensers are frequently empty and I've stayed in a room.not cleaned fir days, to be o top of keeping these infections contained.

so no, whereas I have kids who have eaten all sorts and licked shoes etc, I still do not want people who don't need to be there in a hospital

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 04/12/2015 14:22

Hmm, starting to wonder if I really am the milkmans Shock

Enjolrass · 04/12/2015 14:23

I actually agree with this, we had a very close male friend conned for years

so you know one person it happened to. How many people do you know that it hasn't happened to?

Everyone should be tested because one person you know had a bad experience?

Do you think anyone in an exclusive relationship should undergo regular lie detector tests, because other people cheat?

VestalVirgin · 04/12/2015 14:24

YABU. I don't even get why you would think your dad was not really your dad. Is your relationship with your mother so bad that you think she lied to you?

Besides, it is really pointless. The man who is there for you, drives you to your piano lessons and helps you with your homework is your father - would you love him any less if he turned out not to be related to you?

Most importantly, as others mentioned, it would be a waste of money. If a man distrusts his wife so much, he can pay for the testing himself. And for the divorce that is likely to follow, as the wife will not be happy with that level of distrust.

CwtchMeQuick · 04/12/2015 14:28

I've not read every single post so apologise if I'm repeating anything but I just wanted to say that blood groups don't work as indicted above.

Everyone has 2 alleles for blood type, one from the father and one from the mother. The alleles (genes) can be A, B or O. And also rh positive or rh negative.
The classifications are to do with what antibodies are displayed on the cells.

A and B are co dominant, and O is recessive.
This means you need two O alleles for you to have blood type O.
If you had one A and one O, you would be blood type A. If you had one B and one O, you'd be blood type B.
Also if you had one A and one B, you'd be AB.
Two A's give blood type A just as two B's give blood type B.

Rhesus factor is similar, if you have one Rh positive, you are Rh positive.

So paternity can be disproven But not proven through blood types.

Eg, if a mother and suspected father are blood type O, and baby is blood type A, the suspected father cannot be the father.

There are some anomalies to this but these are the general rules.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 04/12/2015 14:31

OMG my mum told me my blood type was a different one to what it actually is. I only found out when I was expecting my first DC and I queried the blood type on my reports.

Turns out ma has a hazy grasp of biology and phenotypes rather than an elicit affair with the milk man -35-- 30 years ago.

But yeah, let's totes Jezza Kyle up the maternity experience because some people make bad choices Hmm

Alfieisnoisy · 04/12/2015 14:36

That 25% statistic has been debunked many many times.

I will try to find a link but it's something to do with looking over a very long period of time etc....not a single year.

VestalVirgin · 04/12/2015 14:43

Do you think anyone in an exclusive relationship should undergo regular lie detector tests, because other people cheat?

It logically follows, doesn't it? It isn't fair for a man to be able to prove a woman is cheating on him, but not the other way round, obviously.

Equal opportunity lie detecting is necessary!

(Or we could do this old-fashioned thing of trusting people we claim to love.)

Lozza1990 · 04/12/2015 14:51

Purely because of the cost, yabu but I don't get this 'I can be trusted so I shouldn't have to' attitude Hmm. Of course I would be offended if my partner personally asked for one, but I would have no issues with a routine one.

Blood types aren't 100% effective at telling paternity HOWEVER sometimes blood types are incompatible. Me, my partner and my DS have all had blood tests yet not one of us knows our blood type. If everyone had their blood type recorded on a file or something, and all 'fathers' could access that information then it would certainly save SOME hassle, so I do agree with you to a point.

squoosh · 04/12/2015 14:53

^'I don't get this 'I can be trusted so I shouldn't have to' attitude Hmm'

Really?

Hmm Hmm

DinosaursRoar · 04/12/2015 14:57

Lozza - you wouldn't be offended by the government creating a routine test on the assumption that woman commonly lie about the parentage of their DCs? How is that not offensive to woman (particularly given the stats suggest it's not the case)?

(Also, very surprised how many people know their parents blood types, their DPs blood types etc, I'd even have to check my own, how does this come up in conversation?)

squoosh · 04/12/2015 14:57

'If everyone had their blood type recorded on a file or something, and all 'fathers' could access that information then it would certainly save SOME hassle'

They could call it the Doubtful Daddies Database.

Lozza1990 · 04/12/2015 14:57

Yes, say in theory money wasn't an issue and it was the law, why would you have a problem with the hospital having it on file?

squoosh · 04/12/2015 14:57

Why would it ever become the law?

PerspicaciaTick · 04/12/2015 14:58

I think the obvious route to go down if you want equal opportunities lie detecting, is for everyone's DNA to be held by the state. Then when a child is found not to belong to the mother's partner, the DNA database would be searched, the actual father identified and his details would be published publicly so his partner will know. That way both sides of the affair would be identified.

Simple and not at all intrusive and inflammatory.

Lozza1990 · 04/12/2015 14:59

I didn't say the majority of women lie Confused. I'm sure a very small percentage do, but it would save some heartache.

Lozza1990 · 04/12/2015 15:00

It wouldn't become the law, I don't think OP ever thinks this is actually going to happen but it's in theory

Enjolrass · 04/12/2015 15:01

(Or we could do this old-fashioned thing of trusting people we claim to love.)

vestal or we could do that!!!! Way to think outside of the box! Grin

squoosh · 04/12/2015 15:01

Save some heartache?

Presuming a woman is a lying harlot till proved otherwise by a compulsory DNA test would cause a lot more heartache.

BeyondThirty · 04/12/2015 15:02

"if everyone had their blood type recorded"

Seems very weird to me that anyone doesnt know their own blood type already!!

Lweji · 04/12/2015 15:02

On the wrong blood types, my doctor didn't want to include a blood type test for me on some tests I had to do because he thought I'd be the same as my parents.
They both have the same AB+, but based on that I could be a combination of types except 0. Idiot.

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