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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think all babies should be DNA tested at birth

314 replies

ohagape · 04/12/2015 10:25

After reading that awful thread in step parenting where the poor guy wasn't even his 'sons' father and handed loads of money over to the horrible sounding mother, I really think all babies should be DNA tested as soon as they are born with the potential father/s, whether from a good relationship or not.

It would save a lot of heartbreak and wasted time and money. It can easily be told by blood types. My whole life my mum told me I had a different blood type. Then when I found out at my booking bloods and told her she got really confused about my dad's blood type. I really thought my dad wasn't my dad so he went and did a DNA test to reassure me. AIBU to think this should be a routine thing at all births and father's name shouldn't be on the birth certificate until it's done?

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 04/12/2015 10:44

unicorn well this is awkward....

TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee · 04/12/2015 10:45

Its quite obvious from all the different combinations of Fathers blood type on that chart that paternity cannot be confirmed by blood type Ffs.

ElderlyKoreanLady · 04/12/2015 10:48

unicorn blood type of the parents determines blood type of the children, yes. But that doesn't mean that you can identify who a child's father is by looking at blood types. You could rule out potential fathers, certainly. But what if the potential fathers are the same blood type?

Whatthefoxgoingon · 04/12/2015 10:48

Unicorn I just laughed out loud at your suggestion that paternity can be confirmed by blood type. Maybe do a bit more thinking before posting next time?

abbieanders · 04/12/2015 10:49

If my father had a DNA test done at the birth then he wouldn't have been ripped off out of thousands of pounds for a child that wasn't his and that he barely ever saw anyway

So if a man doubts he's the father of the child and is questioning paternity, how's he going to do a DNA test, since these things can only be sanctioned by a parent? Assuming the mother isn't into it?

Original poster
ohagape · 04/12/2015 10:49

Oh I forgot this is MN and not the real world where stuff like unicorn described does happen quite a lotHmm

My blood type is AB rhesus negative so my father could have only been one type and my mum was adamant he wasn't that so basically told me he couldn't possibly be my father. So no, it's not irrational

OP posts:
BathtimeFunkster · 04/12/2015 10:50

Maternity hospitals do need a touch more live action kyle.

Grin

This is the clincher for me, I think we should go for it.

It would be another nice little surprise for the big day -

is it a boy or a girl?
are you the dad or not?

"Wim Marcellus Kerr was born at 7.18pm weighing 10lbs 3ozs. Conrad is delighted to be confirmed as father."

molyholy · 04/12/2015 10:52

Then when I found out at my booking bloods and told her she got really confused about my dad's blood type. I really thought my dad wasn't my dad so he went and did a DNA test to reassure me

Wow, and the first conclusion you jumped to was that your dad wasn't your dad, rather than your mum may have been mixed up. Then on this basis, you think every baby should be DNA tested. Is that not a teeny weeny bit extreme Hmm

Thurlow · 04/12/2015 10:52

Absolutely no way.

All it does is suggest that all women are cheating liars.

unicornflesh · 04/12/2015 10:53

If you're in a relationship/marriage with someone and they cheat on you then fall pregnant you are not going to question if it's your child or not. She left him and continued to lie to him whilst being with the real father (his best friend). It's not until the poor girl died that he was told he wasn't the father. Yes, stuff like this does happen ohagape. It isn't just all sunshine and daisies

99percentchocolate · 04/12/2015 10:54

Yabu - I am 100% sure who the father of both of my children is. Why should the NHS pay to confirm something we both already know? Confused
Plus, I'd rather the labs not be backed up with pointless DNA tests when somebody may be waiting to find out if they have a serious illness.
Although if the hospital corridors are going to become like episodes of Jeremy Kyle then I suppose they could offset the cost of the tests by selling popcorn?

DawnOfTheDoggers · 04/12/2015 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ohagape · 04/12/2015 10:56

It's not really extreme. My parents have been split since I was a baby and my dad was rarely around until I was an adult. My mum was certain he couldn't scientifically be my dad due to my blood type and didn't deny the possibility of him not being my father

OP posts:
zoobaby · 04/12/2015 10:56

So based on Unicorn's chart, if I have A blood and my child has A blood, then the father could have any blood group. Same for me B and baby B. Or if baby has O blood, then the father could be anything other than the very rare AB group.

Exactly how is that going to catch me out as a lying cheater?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 04/12/2015 10:58

Shhhhhh zoobaby! Don't be sensible!

TeaPleaseLouise · 04/12/2015 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee · 04/12/2015 10:59

Dear me.

My mother was having an affair with her husbands 17 year old brother, and fell pregnant.

The resulting child is ME.

I still dont know who is my "bio"; nor do I give a fuck. My Dad is my Dad (my mothers now ex husband) and I adore him. She blurted it out to me when drunk, to be vile and upset me.

I dont use my experience to generalise ALL women.

molyholy · 04/12/2015 10:59

Bit of a dripfeed there ohgape not mentioning in your OP that your parents were not even together and that your dad wasn't around.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 04/12/2015 10:59

Yabu and a bit of a twat

I wouldn't have needed a DNA test for my DS because I know who his father is. So does his father.

BathtimeFunkster · 04/12/2015 10:59

I enjoyed when they tried to pretend that I needed Anti-D injections even if DH was rh- like I am.

It was a very subtle way of not quite saying "but what if he's not the Da" Hmm Grin

ElderlyKoreanLady · 04/12/2015 11:00

Of course there are men who've been led to believe that they're a child's father when they're actually not. Life isn't all sunshine and daisies. But when I have absolutely no doubts who the father of my child is and her parentage isn't medically relevant, why should my child's paternity need to be determined? It's time we as a society stopped judging all women based on the despicable actions of a select few.

molyholy · 04/12/2015 11:00

Obviously that would make more sense as to why you would question your paternity

Thurlow · 04/12/2015 11:00

Yes, but you're just extrapolating from your situation, ohgape, and imaging that every couple has the same level of doubt of parentage.

The only reason your mum (any mum) could be convinced that your dad (anyone's dad) is not their father is because they have had sex with someone else.

And as someone who hadn't had sex with anyone else for 13 years before their DC was born, why on earth would I want or need the NHS to waste time and money testing for what we both know to be true?

dratsea · 04/12/2015 11:00

Maternity is fact, paternity an opinion at best and very difficult to be sure, sometimes even for the mother. Once DNA testing became cheap it became easy to test if the father on birth certificate was genetically the father. I think studies find that 25% of second children were not. There is a recent case before high court about the lineage of a lord up in Scotland, the eldest inherited the title but DNA shows he is not the son of his father so the second born, who is, genetically, the son of father has asked for title and estate. There may be a case further south relating to the second child in a very famous family but the first born has now married and his dw has pushed out both a son and a backup daughter so taking the pressure off the high court in relation to the Scottish family.

Wafflenose · 04/12/2015 11:00

No. My husband and I have only ever had the one relationship (with each other!) so I'm not sure exactly what testing our children wound have achieved.

Most women are perfectly aware of who the father is. Only a tiny percentage will lie about it.