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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister should stand up for herself re Christmas leave

117 replies

Daisysbear · 03/12/2015 11:07

My sister has no children and, for the third year running, is being pressured to work on Christmas Day (It's a call centre type job). She, and other child free colleagues have been told that, as compensation, they can have New Year's Day off.

My sister is not in the least interested in hitting the town on NYE. She's in her forties and would really like to spend Christmas day with extended family, including our elderly mother.

I've told her to put her foot down, as she's being treated unfairly, but she's afraid she'll come across as selfish and begrudging.
AIBU to think she's being silly and perfectly entitled to object to being expected to work Christmas Day every year simply because she'd not a mother?

OP posts:
SevenOfNineTrue · 04/12/2015 10:17

Glad you sister and her colleagues are banding together.

When I had to cover a colleagues holiday, we always had a policy of one year on and one year off. One year she'd choose the holidays she wanted, the other I would. It was fair.

I will never understand parents who think that just because they have children they should be given special treatment over Christmas holidays versus anyone else.

AnotherStitchInTime · 04/12/2015 10:21

That is highly unfair. Glad they are challenging it.

I have three small children and will be working Christmas Day and Boxing Day, my turn.

At my work people do split days so you either get the morning or the afternoon to spend with family.

chrome100 · 04/12/2015 10:22

She is not being unreasonable. I once had a job in a translation agency where most of the staff were from abroad. I had to really fight to get any time off at Christmas because they all wanted to go back to their home countries for it, which I understand, but I also wanted to spend Christmas with my family! The only fair way is a rota system. One person's circumstances do not trump another's.

PeasinPod1 · 04/12/2015 10:27

Daisy, I am fuming on behalf of your sister and hope she looks for a new job early in 2016 so this never happens again.

She is doing the right thing by sounds of it, found this on an employment law site on forced Christmas day working: "This does not foster good employment relations though, if I were you I would get together with your colleagues and raise a group grievance. If you all refuse to work on these terms then he may see fit to change his mind."
Read more: www.justanswer.com/uk-employment-law/45tsk-employer-force-work-xmas-day-boxing-day-new.html#ixzz3tLX0LoRk

Viviennemary · 04/12/2015 10:34

No I don't think people should have priority because they have children. If leave is going to be handed out on the level of need then she should say she has a sick relative who needs her on Christmas day. Of course you shouldn't have to do this and I used to have a thing about not telling lies. But not any more. She could try the Union but I expect they'd not want to get involved. And it's unlikely a call centre type place would have much to do with unions anyway.

squoosh · 04/12/2015 10:47

'I spoke to her on the phone last night. Apparently another colleague is fuming and has drafted up an email to management which they're all going to sign, giving their point of view requesting a meeting to agree a 'fair and equal policy''

Great news OP.

Forget next Christmas I wouldn't settle for anything less than getting this Christmas Day off. Not her problem if they have a tricky time re-arranging rotas.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 04/12/2015 10:58

Only seeing your update now - I'm delighted that she is getting together with her colleagues who have to 'compromise' and come in on Christmas day too.

It's not a compromise if you have to do it every Christmas.

There should be a rota and whoever has worked the last one gets this one off and so on. Also applies to NYE working arrangements.

Keep us posted on how your sister & her colleagues get on with raising this to management.

FishWithABicycle · 04/12/2015 11:19

Apparently another colleague is fuming and has drafted up an email to management which they're all going to sign, giving their point of view requesting a meeting to agree a 'fair and equal policy'

Brilliant news. I hope they succeed. Having children doesn't give anyone more rights to convenient time off. Do keep us updated OP.

crispytruffle · 04/12/2015 11:26

How unfair. If she doesn't say anything this will go on year after year.

backinthebox · 04/12/2015 11:28

Probably a bit late to argue for it this year, but would it be worth her discussing with her company a fairer means of allocating Christmas work? I work in a 365-days-a-year industry, and we get a 'Christmas out' point if we work a Christmas. Every year the company first ask for volunteers, then assign the remaining work in order of the least number of Christmas out points. Some people obviously like working Christmas as the list (which is available for all to see) has some people with 12 or more points. I only have 1 point, so I expect to be clobbered in the next few years. It is definitely not fair to make people work based on whether they have children or not.

dodobookends · 04/12/2015 11:35

One place I worked had a simple system. First, they asked for volunteers to work Christmas Day at a higher pay rate. To fill the remaining places, they made a list of everyone who had not worked Christmas Day the previous year, and chose people from that list out of a hat.

Pilgit · 04/12/2015 13:14

We're always closed on Christmas day however we have a one year on one year off policy that applies to all. Everyone knows it. We've always taken the attitude that everyone will have commitments and family so everyone needs a fair system.

NaiceVillageOfTheDammed · 04/12/2015 13:32

MrsCrimshaw

"My OH works for the Ambulance Service and they have this stupid system that you have to book Christmas leave for the next year from 12.01am on New Year's Eve. OH has worked last 3 Christmases and NY as someone else always gets there first with their email."

Does your email system have the facility to store and send (at a set date/time) emails?

If it doesn't, do you have access to someone's Microsoft Outlook - that does. Just write in the subject box your DH's name and that's it's about holiday request.

OnlyLovers · 04/12/2015 13:38

YANBU and I'm glad to hear she and her colleagues are joining forces.

This stuff really boils my piss. EVERYONE has a right to a fair share of time off on significant days and reproductive status should have no bearing whatsoever.

I vehemently disagree with those on here saying she should cite caring responsibilities/lie about what she's doing for Christmas etc. IT SHOULD NOT MATTER and it's no one's business. If she wants her turn at a Christmas off so she can sit on her own at home and watch EastEnders while eating pizza, that's up to her.

Good luck to her and her colleagues!

rookiemere · 04/12/2015 13:53

In principal I agree that everyone has a right to fair share of time off onlylovers, but surely a little bit of human compassion is no bad thing.

I totally agree that DCs should not trump elderly parents and in this case I do agree that the OPs Dsis is perfectly entitled to have Christmas day off , but if someone is genuinely sitting at home on Christmas day on their own, then I have to say it sounds a little mean that they wouldn't swap that for another day willingly to allow someone to spend it with their DCs, other relatives or to travel home.

OnlyLovers · 04/12/2015 13:58

Nah, rubbish, rookiemere. It is no more 'mean' for Person A to want a day off than for Person B to want a day off. What each person wants to do with the day is irrelevant.

The person who doesn't get to see family/travel home this year will get their turn next year, or whatever the rota says. That's the only fair way to do it.

ImtheChristmasCarcass · 04/12/2015 15:15

No rookiemere. It isn't 'mean'. Perhaps that person treasures their time alone at Christmas. Perhaps Christmas wasn't a 'good' time for them in the past or they suffered a loss at Christmas and being alone that day serves a purpose of mourning or reconciliation to their past.

I found at my former workplace that most people who would be alone on Christmas, without really wanting to be alone, usually volunteered to work that day.

Andrewofgg · 04/12/2015 20:08

If leave is going to be handed out on the level of need then she should say she has a sick relative who needs her on Christmas day.

But that's not how shifts should be allocated! Everyone's private life is of equal value and nobody "needs" CD off more than anybody else.

StealthPolarBear · 04/12/2015 20:16

No but I suppose the idea is if she has to work in that less than ideal environmwnt

OneMoreCasualty · 04/12/2015 20:30

Rookie, few people still of working age spend Xmas utterly on their tod - some might be volunteering at kitchens etc.

PurpleDaisies · 04/12/2015 20:34

Even if they were sitting at home on their own, that's entirely their choice. No one should be judging what others are doing with their free time. Saying that any workers are more worthy of time off over Christmas is going to lead to resentment and unfairness.

ilovesooty · 04/12/2015 20:37

OneMore - I do. That's why I go away. If my employers ever open at Christmas I'll be first in the queue to volunteer but I'd resent the assumption that as a single person I should have to.

KittyOShea · 04/12/2015 20:41

DH and I have no children. He has worked 5 out of the last 6 Christmas days and will work Christmas Eve night into Christmas Day this year.

I would be fuming if I felt this was because he had no children. Does being infertile mean I would have to spend every Christmas without my DH?

Well done to your sister OP. I hope she and her other childless colleagues have a fair outcome.

TendonQueen · 04/12/2015 20:45

Exactly - how much of a kick in the teeth must a policy like this be to people who want children and haven't been able to have them?

I think your sister and the others should all agree to politely refuse to work yet again. The more of them who do it, the harder it will be to punish anyone for it.

OneMoreCasualty · 04/12/2015 21:09

Sorry if it was unclear - I also think that it's perfectly fine to have equal
Rights to time off if you are having Xmas on your tod!

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