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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think cooking two fillets of fish for one person is a bit much?

325 replies

MarianneSolong · 01/12/2015 18:43

I'm going out. Spouse is cooking two salmon fillets for himself. I think it's a bit greedy and he should either have just one - or save the packet for a night when we're both in.

OP posts:
Preciousxbane · 02/12/2015 09:31

My MIL made the remark to me that I showed love by cooking things for my family.

The amount is irrelevant it's the emotional side that's bothering you.

You literally have 'bigger fish to fry'

firesidechat · 02/12/2015 09:33

I read the thread perfectly well thanks. The salmon thing and the steak thing were both mentioned by the op first and it's not against the rules to discuss both.

The beauty of forums is that they go off in all sorts of directions, just like face to face conversations really.

SummerHouse · 02/12/2015 09:37

I have not RTT [maverick]

Just came on to snort at are you hobbits?

MackerelOfFact · 02/12/2015 09:47

A bit of a non-issue IMO. I'd easily have two salmon fillets if I was making a salmon salad. Maybe one and a half fillets if I'm having teriyaki salmon. If he's making two salmon en croute that's a bit excessive but whatever. He's the one making it.

TesticleOfObjectivity · 02/12/2015 09:47

From an ethical and environmental p.o.v. I think 2 fillets is too much. The fact is most of us consume too much of everything and most of us eat way too much meat and fish. Clearly a lot of people are very defensive about this. Sounds as though the op and her dh have made a joint effort to limit their meat and fish intake, so it makes sense that she would be surprised about him doing this.

expatinscotland · 02/12/2015 09:49

We've had the magic chicken, magic mince and now, here you have it: magic salmon.

Enjolrass · 02/12/2015 09:53

From an ethical and environmental p.o.v. I think 2 fillets is too much.

but if it is an ethical problem, they (as a couple) limited meat products a lot. So having 2 on occasion isn't the end of the world.

The OP isn't surprised due to ethical issues..... She thinks it's greedy.

That's a different issue.

I am not defensive. We don't eat loads of meat everyday and we (95% of the time) make sure we buy from a sustainable source. Locally reared, direct from the farmer that's reared it.

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/12/2015 09:53

It's Christmas, it'll be magic turkey next.

Kintan · 02/12/2015 09:54

If this isn't a regular occurrence (eating all the good stuff on his own) then just chill out and leave him to it! You're going out anyway - are you going to bring half of your drinks/food back for him??

Scarletforya · 02/12/2015 09:58

Yabvu

Two fillets of salmon for one person is right. They're small and they shrink while cooking.

A serving of fish for one person is the size of their hand.

expatinscotland · 02/12/2015 10:02

'It's Christmas, it'll be magic turkey next.'

Magic ham, too! We all just sniff a ham stock cube round here. Fills us up, complies with government guidelines and better for the environment, too.

Enjolrass · 02/12/2015 10:04

We are having magic pork pie. Wink

expatinscotland · 02/12/2015 10:11

'We are having magic pork pie. wink'

Aldi have some canape sized ones. Just perfect for Boxing Day dinner. Two/person is more than enough, to go with a thimbleful of sherry.

BarbaraofSeville · 02/12/2015 10:15

Mumsnet is very strange sometimes. Here we have a thread where most posters are saying it should be normal to eat large amounts of expensive meat and fish with no consideration that this is unaffordable to many people, but there is another thread where a poster is talking about paying for an activity that costs a couple of quid a week quarterly and most people are arguing that finding ‘such a large amount’ (£25) in one go is not possible for a lot of people.

Yes I know there are different posters, but I see this a lot. OP comes on saying ‘AIBU to be annoyed that DH ate all the salmon/ham/chocolate biscuits’ and most posters deem the OP unreasonable and accuse her of starving/controlling/bullying her DH, tell her to ‘just buy more food’, ‘let him eat what he wants in his own home, he must be starving the poor man’ and making snide comments about magic chickens/salmon/mince if the OP tries to restrict food in any way.

Never mind that the food in question was supposed to last the whole family the whole week, they may not have the budget to simply go out and buy more food and the actions of one greedy person has possibly led to others in the family having to do without.

Debbriana1 · 02/12/2015 10:18

Wow, poor spouse. Come on. Let him eat what he likes. Does he dictate how much food you should have ? I would not be surprised that he has finally found a day he will be able to cook enough food for himself and actually be satisfied.

We always eat two or depending whether your hungry or not.

Are you the two potato person kind of person?

MajesticWhine · 02/12/2015 10:22

Barbara, thing is you just made up all that. There was no mention of them being short of money or food. The OP just thought he was being greedy.

maybebabybee · 02/12/2015 10:23

Lol, Barbara, where did you get all that from?!

We were poor growing up. We just didn't buy salmon fillets.

SarahSavesTheDay · 02/12/2015 10:23

Barbara I've asked several times if money is the issue. The OP is gone!

Higge · 02/12/2015 10:23

This thread isn't necessarily about money though - the OP failed to state her reasons why 2 fillets was too much and as other posters have said obesity, environment, budget or just plain controlling we don't know.

TesticleOfObjectivity · 02/12/2015 10:26

I agree with you Barbara. And the suggestion that the woman must be the one making the man eat less meat and fish usually, because man needs meat. My dp and I also limit our meat and fish consumption, it's a joint decision. I would never make him eat the same way as me (unless I was doing all the cooking). Yet I'm the one who treats myself to a steak once or twice a year whereas he will happily go without. I'd say I'm the one who misses red meat the most and I have a bigger appetite than him overall.

Higge · 02/12/2015 10:31

Men do need more food to maintain their weight than women - of course there are exceptions but generally men are taller and carry more muscle.

TesticleOfObjectivity · 02/12/2015 10:43

The average man may need more food than the average woman. That does not mean that the women in a relationship are the ones making the men reduce their meat intake.

thelouise · 02/12/2015 10:57

Some people on here seem to be struggling with the fact that people have different caloric requirements, are different sizes and have varying levels of activity.

I had salmon last night for for dinner. I am 5 foot 4 and in the healthy weight range. I lead a very sedentary lifestyle due to a physical disability and need to watch what I eat. I had one fillet from a packet (which was 80g if anyone is interested) and that was only 200 calories. With boiled new potatoes and broccoli, it was a substantial meal for me, although I could easily have had another fillet and not been stuffed. My DP is 8 inches later, a fair few stone heavier, has a very fast metabolism, works in an active job and does loads of sports. He was out last night but he would need more to feel full and sustain him.

Enjolrass · 02/12/2015 11:20

barabara the OP has posted several times talking about their usual portion sizes and the fact that she saved him a cake.

At no point has she said 'we don't have enough money for him to eat more than one'

'Or that salmon was meant to last us a week'

You have added your own bits in.

I am sure if those were important points the Op would have said that while talking about how she shows love through food and splits a steak

TesticleOfObjectivity · 02/12/2015 11:20

I said that from an environmental standpoint, two per person is too many. My second point was that some posters seem to think it is a fact that men always need more food than women. This is untrue. Even if it is true it is not a logical conclusion that anytime a woman expresses a negative opinion on what a man eats then said woman is controlling and joyless.

Seeing as over half of women in the UK are overweight/ obese and considerably more men are overweight/ obese, I think neither group are struggling so calrorific requirement is not really a valid argument unless you are talking about individuals at the underweight end of the spectrum, or those with specific extra needs.