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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that H has lit the fire 'for me'?

67 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 30/11/2015 17:53

And expects me to keep it going while he sits in the bath for over an hour? DS (4months) has just fallen asleep on me after the night from hell and a shitty day which included immunisations. DH has lit the fire for me and gone to have his usual lengthy bath. Leaving me to deal with DS, the fire, and cook dinner at some point.

I was quite happy to just sit here til DS woke up tbh. Now I wil have to either let the fire go out, or move whivh will wake ds up. Hes napped for about 45 minutes all day. Ugh.

OP posts:
Backawaynow2 · 30/11/2015 17:57

Text the fucker!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 30/11/2015 17:59

You've had a hard night and day and he's in the bath, why aren't you in the bath having a soak?

He can cook tea but I would keep the fire going, I love a real fire.

pinkyredrose · 30/11/2015 17:59

Hour long bath!? How often does he do that? YANBU by the way.

shutupandshop · 30/11/2015 18:00

While intentions are good. I'd text him as well.

shutupandshop · 30/11/2015 18:00

Or let the fire ho put and he can vook tea

hesterton · 30/11/2015 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stealthsquiggle · 30/11/2015 18:06

Enjoy the fire while it lasts, but if it goes out before he gets out of the bath then too bad, he will have to relight it. And he can definitely cook. Stay where you are.

TrinityForce · 30/11/2015 18:08

agree with everyone else.

enjoy snuggles with yout baby :)

Original poster
Sparrowlegs248 · 30/11/2015 18:11

Hour long baths nightly. Can't/won't cook.

I managed to ease myself up and lob some logs over the guard so its roaring away emitting no heat at all.

OP posts:
whois · 30/11/2015 18:11

Yup - enjoy the fire and your sleeping baby. If fire goes out, he can relight it. No drama. And he can cook tea.

MoreGilmoreGirls · 30/11/2015 18:14

He'd best go get you a takeaway then OP. After he's piled up the fire Grin

Original poster
Sparrowlegs248 · 30/11/2015 18:17

He'll be pissed off if i let it go out.

OP posts:
Epilepsyhelp · 30/11/2015 18:18

No heat at all?! What kind of fire is it?! Mine kicks out so much heat I love it.

As for DH, maybe he didn't think about the keeping it going aspect? Hour long baths isn't fair every night, and either he learns to cook or he provides food in some other way regularly - I can't think of a way that isn't take away/ready meals which obviously is not good on a regular basis.. My DH won't do housework so he pays for a cleaner, I don't care that he doesn't do it himself as long as he's not leaving the whole task to me through his laziness.

VagueIdeas · 30/11/2015 18:18

Nice of him to check out of family life (copyright: Mumsnet) for an hour every night.

He'll be pissed off if the fire goes out? Boo hoo.

HackerFucker22 · 30/11/2015 18:20

Urm.... let the fire go out.

Why would you even consider doing anything else?

Also get H to cook or at very least order a take out.

TrinityForce · 30/11/2015 18:21

He'll be pissed off if you let the fire go out?

Tough luck, he shouldn't have gone for a long fucking bath then.

var123 · 30/11/2015 18:21

Too bad. He'd be upset if he was in your shoes too.

Definitely let it go out and then say that you thought he'd be back before it went out else you can't think why he'd light it if he wasn't staying around to look after it. Then do this every time until he realises that he has to see things through or ask you to share his work (and open himself up to sharing yours).

HackerFucker22 · 30/11/2015 18:22

Boo fucking hoo if poor diddums is pissed off.

I sense much deeper problems here OP.

Supermanspants · 30/11/2015 18:31

Nice of him to check out of family life (copyright: Mumsnet) for an hour every night

Hmm
P1nkP0ppy · 30/11/2015 18:32

He think himself privileged doesn't he? Arrogant bastard.

He needs a servant, he doesn't deserve you.
Perhaps a valet who would run the bath, warm his slippers, put his toothpaste on his toothbrush, a la Prince Charles?

Supermanspants · 30/11/2015 18:33

OP.... why didn't you just tell him that no, you wouldn't be able to supervise true fire for all the reasons you laid out in your first post.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 30/11/2015 18:33

Why are you accepting this? Genuine question.

Original poster
Sparrowlegs248 · 30/11/2015 18:34

Its roaring all the heat up the chimney because i literally chucked logs at it while holding the baby, and its really windy. It needed 'tending to' properly.

Yes, deeper issues indeed but its like he's determined to drive home how unthinking he is. He probably thought i would put Ds to bed as have done for a few nights now but it just didn't work the last two nights and after the past 24hrs i just don't want to.

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 30/11/2015 18:37

Is he often like this, OP? I hope you're not nervous of him being pissed off. It shouldn't make you feel scared.

Lightbulbon · 30/11/2015 18:39

So many red flags for abuse in so few posts.

Op it isn't normal for a new dad to have hour long baths every night, refuse to cook and get annoyed with you for 'letting' a fire go out.

Just based on this you and DC are better off without. But I suspect there's a lot more like this he does?