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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To think its about time my family had some luck

23 replies

twitchypalm · 30/11/2015 09:07

A bit of background last Aug dp had a heart attack resulting in a bypass operation early this year. This meant he was medically retired from his job and now unable to work. My work is 0 hours contract which is handy with the fact i need a lot of time off to take dp to and from hospital appointments. We have two dcs and have just checked our bank for christmas shopping and after everything is paid we have £50 left to buy there presants and food. Is it to much to ask for a bit of a break in luck we have both always worked paid taxes and never claimed a penny from benefits. Now we have fallen on hard times through no fault of our own. Its going to be horrible christmas morning seeing the dcs face with the tree with next to nothing under it.

OP posts:
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 30/11/2015 09:11

Its shit i know, been there done that. What I can promise though is your kids will love you no less for having a lean christmas this year x

gobbynorthernbird · 30/11/2015 09:49

Are you getting tax credits and any benefits your DH may be entitled to? It's worth checking if there's anything to help if you're not.

And I'm sorry that things are looking so bleak for you all right now.

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 30/11/2015 09:51

Can you have a massive clearout of old/outgrown stuff, put on Gumtree and Facebook? You may double your money at least.

Dowser · 30/11/2015 10:04

My son got £225 for two old phones on eBay. He's a pretty laid back kind of guy and even he was astonished.

( they werent both nokias btw but it's worth having a go and seeing what you can sell)

AliceInUnderpants · 30/11/2015 10:05

The most important thing around your Christmas tree this year for your kids will be their dad. They will appreciate that.
Practically though, can you sell anything they don't need any more? Buy second hand where you can. Is there anything in particular the kids have asked for? How old are they?

Dowser · 30/11/2015 10:06

So sorry to hear about your husband. When he's fully recovered might there be something else less strenuous he could do.

Sounds like he's still quite young and it's a shame for him to feel like he's on the scrap heap.

Hope next year blossoms for you

expatinscotland · 30/11/2015 10:11

Check entitled to and see if you qualify for any benefits. Flog anything you can. Aldi or Lidl for food. Gumtree or FB selling pages for presents. Some cities have toy banks.

Pollyputhtekettleon · 30/11/2015 10:16

Sorry you are having such a rough time but thank god your DP is there with you. I second what the others have said. Get stuff on Gumtree asap. You would be surprised.

AppleAndBlackberry · 30/11/2015 10:21

Your kids will understand. Just pre-warn them so their expectations are not too high. We had a couple of lean years when I was growing up, it really wasn't a big deal. How about having a roast chicken for Christmas lunch instead of a turkey so that you can keep most of the £50 for presents?

MsJamieFraser · 30/11/2015 10:21

Are you getting all you benefits?

You need to try and get another job, with more hours, how long will your husband be able to go back at work?

My mum had a triple heart bypass, 9 weeks ago and she is now able to go carry on as normal.

bluebolt · 30/11/2015 10:24

Any close family or friends who may be hoarders? A close friend last year was in an awful position and we managed to get some phones, iPod touches that a few of us never used and a poundland cover and the became brand new gadgets for her DCs. Hope it gets easier for you soon.

Paintedhandprints · 30/11/2015 11:12

Turkey breasts were £3 in tesco. Get a couple of those and freeze them or check the frozen aisle. Often cheaper. Have a good clear out. Have you any reward card points? Boots? Tesco?
How old are kids? Maybe they can wait for Jan sales or birthday for bigger ticket items?
I would have just been grateful my dad was still with us. Your kids will understand. Flowers

angemorange · 30/11/2015 11:27

All good ideas re points vouchers and selling old stuff but if you need to spend a bit - Credit Unions are good for low interest loans or maybe family could give you a hand?

A 0% credit card or open a shopping account with Very, Argos or Debenhams or somewhere might help although watch out for the interest rates.

Just remember you're not alone - millions of people are having it tight this year Smile

BollocksToThat1 · 30/11/2015 11:36

So sorry op. Life can be so crapsometimes and it all seems to come at once doesn't it?

All the above are great ideas so won't add.

Just wishing you a better 2016 xx

EssentialHummus · 30/11/2015 11:41

Flowers OP, it sounds tough.

Some great advice above. I'd also add Freecycle, which is a non-profit community website (with web pages/groups for most areas in the UK), where you can post Wanted ads for things. No money changes hands and it is not a charity (I know people can get hung up on this).

The idea is that people post brief descriptions of things they need / things they have which are superfluous, and others who have those things / want those things can get in touch. If you post asking for decorations, specific toys or anything else you need, I think you'll find there are people out there who would be delighted to give their things a new home instead of needlessly binning them.

You can FreeCycle things on when you can.

Faye12345 · 30/11/2015 15:11

Could you go to someone elses for dinner hence save money? You can have them at yours next year when youre better off financially x

DeoGratias · 30/11/2015 15:32

Poor you.
Children don't need things. In fact we don't give presents at all now the younger ones are teenagers and we still have a very happy christmas. Things like singing carols and church and visitng relatives tend not to cost much at all.

seasidesally · 30/11/2015 17:19

so sorry this has happened op,agree with above suggestions

i know you probably dont want to think about it but if your starting to struggle generally you really need to think about upping your income in the new year and beyond

any chance of dp being able to work once hes fully recovered

Original poster
twitchypalm · 01/12/2015 19:49

Thanks for all the replys and good wishes. I spent yesterday at the CAB trying to sort things out with them. Ive done some ebay christmas shopping for dcs aswell.

Ive tried to up my hours at work but not easy with my job. Unfortunatly I need a lot of time off for hospital appointment with dp aswell. Hes been told he wont be returning back to work and unfortunatly it looks to be a permenant thing.

OP posts:
confusedofengland · 01/12/2015 19:57

I've been in pretty much the exact same situation until today, when I was fortunate enough to be told that I've won a competition I entered for some vouchers!

My plan thus far has been:

  • Kids' presents at charity shops/FB sales sites. You can often get new stuff as well as second hand.
  • Agree with siblings no presents for adults.
  • Sell outgrown toys on FB.
  • Do lots of surveys on Nectar Canvass. Points get added to your card the next day, I get about £5 per week doing this, which can go towards food/toys/clothes.

-Always check out the sale section of shops first.

-Make up little hampers from Poundland.

  • Enter lots of competitions - my experience shows, somebody has got to win & it might just be you!

Good luck

blobbityblob · 01/12/2015 20:36

Do you mind me asking how old are you dc? And are they boys/girls?

Might be able to come up with some cheaper present ideas?

blobbityblob · 01/12/2015 20:44

For example, these are absolutely fab for small dc - kept mine busy all day one Chrstimas.

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/2376718.htm

Original poster
twitchypalm · 01/12/2015 21:59

Well done confused glad to see things are getting easier for you Smile

I have a dd 11 and a ds 10 Blobbityblob

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