To think a baby shower for baby no. 2 is a bit grabby?

[CallaLilli]

I've just received an invite to a shower that a colleague is throwing herself for her second baby. With expensive gift list! I did go to her first shower, which also had an expensive gift list, but I think doing the same thing the second time around is a bit odd, and I'm probably going to decline the invitation.

I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of throwing yourself a baby shower (it's different if someone else wants to do it for you) and sending out a list of what you'd like. It just comes across as grabby. Though maybe it's understandable for DC1 but subsequent DCs? The gift list has outfits from Bonpoint on it, FFS!

She is having a girl this time (DC1 is a boy) and says she can't possibly use boys clothes etc for DD, so I guess that's her justification for the shower, but still...

I had a baby shower but it was a surprise thrown by some colleagues and friends.
It wasn't that I didn't want one - I just wasn't bothered about having one.

We went out to a restaurant/bar so people could drink if they wanted. They had bought presents which I hadn't expected and they were really sweet, for example some people bought a cute baby grow or a pack of muslins, I remember one friend made a little basket of bubble bath and moisturiser (for me, not the baby) and it was so appreciated!
So it was really nice and they were not flashy gifts but very thoughtful.

I find the idea of organising a baby shower yourself with a gift list, grabby.
Fair enough if you want a get together with friends and family to celebrate your pregnancy, and if they want to bring gifts that's up to them. But I a gift list is like saying Please buy me something!
I wouldn't do it personally.

Baby showers are horrible, grabby things regardless of whether it's a first or second baby.
Just bleugh, you're having a baby, as have tens of millions of women before you. Get over it.

Yanbu.
I really dislike baby showers.
I think they are crass.
I have politely declined the last two I have been invited to.
I had been asked to buy specific things. I don't like being told / asked , however you put it, how to spend my money.
I also think it's better to actually celebrate once babies are safely here.