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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not tell work I'm pregnant yet?

32 replies

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 28/11/2015 07:16

I started in my current job in January, on a one year contract. It will almost certainly be renewed. I'm part time and they advertised for another person to do the same job part time, so there would be two of us, but got no applicants. They're going to advertise again.
At the moment we are applying for contracts for work that will be ongoing for over a year. I will be very involved in this work. I'm not sure that it's completely dependent on me being there, but it could be. They would definitely need to find the second person for the role or my bosses would have to get involved to cover the work (which would be difficult, but not impossible - they can do it, but are very busy).
I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant. I don't want to say anything yet - I want to wait until after I get my new contract, so I know I actually have a job. But AIBU to not let them know that they can't depend on me for a full year when applying for these contracts?

OP posts:

ftmsoon · 28/11/2015 07:23

I don't know, I think legally you don't have to until you get your MatB1 at 20 weeks. But I do know if you don't tell them you can't have time off for antenatal appointments or have reasonable adjustments or risk assessments performed.

Mistigri · 28/11/2015 07:24

When do you legally have to tell them, and are you managing OK for antenatal appointments etc?

I honestly think that employers who use short term contracts for long-term work deserve very little sympathy. If it makes maternity cover difficult, that is NOT your problem. The problem is in the employment model.

The only thing to consider is whether delaying telling anyone might lead to future difficulties in your relationship with your colleagues - but I'd be inclined to cross that bridge when you come to it.

I imagine that legally your pregnancy gives you protection from discrimination when reapplying for your current job but can you rely on this? :-/

confusedandemployed · 28/11/2015 07:24

In your position I would wait. You need to tell them at 20 weeks though.

lovemakespeace · 28/11/2015 07:39

Quick Google suggests you don't have to tell your employer until 15 weeks before your due date so I would do the same in your position (although I wouldn't lie).

Obviously you cannot legally be discriminated against for being pregnant but that's quite a lot to trust them with if you do tell them.

I wouldn't worry too much about how it will work out for them when you are on maternity leave. That's their and every employer's concern. You enjoy your legal entitlement to be with your baby :)

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 28/11/2015 07:59

i think OK so long as there is no requirement for a risk assessment, have you checked your H&S handbook? If you handle chemicals of any description or do any manual handling at all (even in an office job) it would be normal to carry out a risk assessment to make sure you are protected, it's much easier to injure yourself when pregnant.

jamtartandcustard · 28/11/2015 08:13

I didn't tell my employer till I was 25 weeks. I fell pregnant 2 months after starting the job and wanted to wait until after 6month probationary period. then I just didn't get around to doing it. Office job so no h&s issues.
If I were you I would wait until you have the contact

FannyTheChampionOfTheWorld · 28/11/2015 10:36

Leave it, unless there's no way you can manage without paid time off for antenatal appointments and a risk assessment. When I've been in secure employment I've told work asap in order to acquire the legal protections, but it's different if you're not sure you're going to have a job. In an ideal world you'd be able to tell them and know you wouldn't suffer because of it, but in your scenario it might be too much of a risk. They might be pissed off with you though, so factor that into your plans. Again not saying this is a good thing, just that it's often how it is.

Rowgtfc72 · 28/11/2015 10:38

I didn't tell work till I was fifteen weeks as I knew they would be funny about it.
I only told them that early because I did a manual job and needed a risk assessment done to cover my back.

DeoGratias · 28/11/2015 11:08

I left it until bout 5 months as it didn't show, with my first. But then I only used 2 weeks of annual leave to have her in and went back full time so my pregnancy didn't really affect them at work. So it rather depends on what you plan for after and how long you might be away particularly now we have the new paternity leave rights too.

DisappointedOne · 28/11/2015 11:23

I didn't formally tell work until I was 25 weeks - I was huge by that point so it was just a paper exercise really. I had my risk assessment 2 weeks before I started mat leave. I told my line manager at about 15 weeks though - she'd noticed my mind had started to fail me.

WhetherOrNot · 28/11/2015 12:26

But AIBU to not let them know that they can't depend on me for a full year when applying for these contracts?

Morally that is wrong, yes.

TheMightyMing · 28/11/2015 12:36

Do what is best for you. Last thing you want is to be out of work because they don't renew the contract.

Heyitsholly · 28/11/2015 12:38

In this world you have to look after yourself. I didnt tell my work till i legally had to as i was in mortgage applications. It makes little difference to them when you say as it leaves them in the same predicament

RB68 · 28/11/2015 12:51

Its not morally wrong not to tell them. Its reliant on the role being filled not a particular applicant in post. Nothing to stop them getting maternity cover in or for the other PT role to have more hours in the short term. There are options for them but no I agree in this world you have to do what is right for you and sometimes you have to play the game a little to get what you want - they wouldn't hesitate to sort things to benefit them so quid pro quo I say

expatinscotland · 28/11/2015 13:08

I have no sympathy for employers who use these short-term contracts. I'd keep my lips sealed.

cdtaylornats · 28/11/2015 13:12

It depends on the contracts they are bidding for. I've certainly been involved in bids where people in certain roles were named because the work we were bidding for was for a client who wanted people they knew in certain roles.

IlonaRN · 28/11/2015 13:27

You don't need to tell them until you are 25 weeks - but DO need to tell them then.
If you tell them now, you may not have your contract renewed. This may or may not be discrimination, but legally you'd have very little comeback (if any), as they do not HAVE to renew your contract.
How would you feel if you told them, didn't have your contract renewed and then (worst case scenario) lost the baby and had been able to work the full year after all (less a short time for recovery)?

Sorry to bring up bad possibilities!

AyeAmarok · 28/11/2015 14:00

I agree actually that employers who only give someone a short term contract can't really expect you to be upfront with them about something that makes your position even more precarious.

That's a good point that I hadn't considered before.

ForalltheSaints · 28/11/2015 14:04

Wait until 20 weeks when you have to tell them. That still leaves at least four months before you leave, which is more than long enough for anyone to find someone for your period of maternity leave.

DeoGratias · 28/11/2015 14:05

Good points above. In fact one reason I did not announce pregnancies even to my parents before about 4 or 5 months was in case of miscarriage as well as not wanting to be treated differently by work.

rollmeover · 28/11/2015 14:06

It is not morally wrong to not tell them. How much notice are they giving you of your contract renewal? You (in theory) could be out on your ear with very little notice.
Keep quiet, get the contract renewed and then tell them.

mariposa10 · 28/11/2015 14:07

Don't tell them. I waited until 19 weeks for similar reasons.

wasonthelist · 28/11/2015 14:11

(But AIBU to not let them know that they can't depend on me for a full year when applying for these contracts?

Morally that is wrong, yes.

I disagree.

ValancyJane · 28/11/2015 14:13

In your shoes I wouldn't be telling them until my contract had been renewed and everything was signed! I only told my work early because of morning sickness, and quite honestly if I could have left it much longer I would have done. Don't loose sleep over this, honestly!

LaLyra · 28/11/2015 14:21

But AIBU to not let them know that they can't depend on me for a full year when applying for these contracts?

I don't think so. Keeping staff on short term contracts obviously suits them. They could let you go with very little notice before renewing.

Also no-one can 100% commit to a full year. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow, or get ill, or any other of a million things could happen. I wouldn't be telling them at this stage of pregnancy.

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