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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that reception aged children should be able to earn back their Golden Time?

191 replies

Classof2032 · 27/11/2015 18:56

DD had no Golden Time at all today. She had to sit in the classroom with her head on the desk while all of the other children played :( Surely it's just cruel to punish children like that. Once she had had a talking to it was just proving a point.

Her misdemeanour was yesterday anyway. She said she tried really, really hard today but it was no good.

I am sure that all of the recent educational theories advise against GT and treating children like this.

OP posts:
Chillyegg · 27/11/2015 20:08

Yeah um you need to cooperate with the school about your child's behaviour, because hour not doing her any favours for when she gets older.
I thought it would be obvious why your daughter can't be left alone in a corridor to work.

LemonRedwood · 27/11/2015 20:08

I wonder if the OP will be back to respond to the comments on her thread, or abandon it like she has done her others when no one agreed with her about how awful and unreasonable her dd's school and teacher are?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 27/11/2015 20:10

I'm guessing Wolfie is suggesting HE for this little girl, nothing to do with SEN.

IrisVillarca · 27/11/2015 20:12

Wolfie needs a translator for her posts, does she? Alrighty.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 27/11/2015 20:14

Wonder what the hit childs parents are thinking?

IrisVillarca · 27/11/2015 20:19

Maybe they could post, Sally. They might be full of good ideas like isolated corridors and enforced sedentary punishment (soooo effective for Early Years!).

Or they might live in the real fucking world where things are just.......y'know, dealt with sensibly? Crazy, I know, but legend has it is happens Shock

JessicasRabbit · 27/11/2015 20:22

iris, I think a few people (myself included) have said that the DD needs support to cope with the classroom environment. Sanctions and support can be used together, it's not an either/or situation.

SEN or not, every child should be supported to reach their learning potential. However, every child in the classroom has the right to be safe. That means that behaviours which harm other children need to be dealt with seriously.

MinesAPintOfTea · 27/11/2015 20:26

I assumed HE as well. Or a selective private school (although good luck getting a child that hits into one...)

Talk to the school about head on desk and whether there should be a punishment group with the head or something. But think how you would feel if your DD had been hit and the child who did it was enjoying golden time along with her the next day.

bettyberry · 27/11/2015 20:30

Losing golden time is appropriate.

If she had the option to earn it back your DD would hit one child then think Oh I can do this and earn my time back. That way she won't learn that hitting is unacceptable.

Tbh it looks like losing all the golden time worked because She said she tried really, really hard today so your DD learned the lesson and modified her behaviour accordingly.

If you remind her of the consequences she should keep all the golden time next friday.

HSMMaCM · 27/11/2015 20:32

It was head in her arms on the desk. The teacher probably thought she needed a bit of peace and quiet and let her have a rest during her time.

Snossidge · 27/11/2015 20:33

How does golden time even work in reception? Surely 80% of the day they are having fun and playing anyway.

strawberryandaflake · 27/11/2015 20:35

No. They need to learn that there is only one chance or they will repeat their behaviour. Trust me, teacher did the right thing. Hitting is never acceptable, despite the irritating kid who upset her.

PurpleDaisies · 27/11/2015 20:37

Once she had had a talking to it was just proving a point.

Of course it was-the point being actions have consequences and hitting another child is totally unacceptable.

orangeyellowgreen · 27/11/2015 20:37

There are lots of references here to work and working. This is a reception age child, aged 4 or just gone 5. Isn't reception mostly play, not working and harsh punishments for tiny children who wouldn't even be in school anywhere else in the world?

PurpleDaisies · 27/11/2015 20:38

4 year olds are old enough to understand they do not hit other children. That absolutely needs reinforcing with appropriate sanctions.

LaLyra · 27/11/2015 20:46

Golden Time for lashing out at another child has never been won back in any school I've ever worked in.

Your daughter needs to learn, or be taught, strategies to cope with other children. Lashing out and sitting in the corridor are not going to get her through schooling.

I'd be asking about the head on the desk though. If (and I think it's a big if) that is true i'd be kicking up. That's not what it should be for. Would be amazed if it was an hour though. I don't know any schools that do GT for a whole hour.

mintoil · 27/11/2015 20:51

OMG it's that poster!!

Advance search is your friend Mnetters.

BuggersMuddle · 27/11/2015 20:52

Wow, OP - are you for real?

Did your DD hit the other child after they didn't respond well to her 'blunt approach'?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 27/11/2015 20:54

mintoll I know, right?! Only a couple of us seem to have noticed so far. The OP has literally never contributed to any other threads other than those she started to complain about her daughter's school. The complaints are never warranted. It's a bit bizarre really. It's taking PFB to a whole new level.

Wolfiefan · 27/11/2015 20:57

Iris. Sorry I stepped away from the thread.

I am assuming this child has no additional needs. (None were mentioned.) if she can't cope with being around other children and hits them if they disturb her then no I don't think this is sustainable.
Schools can't just shut children in a corridor because they have poor impulse control.
If SEN I would expect TA support.

gasman · 27/11/2015 20:59

You again?

I really think you need to look at other schools this one isn't working for you or your daughter....and tbh I think the staff would bloody love it if you left with your unhappiness about homework, the way your daughter is spoken to and her lost items of clothing....

Shutthatdoor · 27/11/2015 20:59

I think this is the 4th thread about the school/teacher you've had in almost as many weeks OP? There seems to be a problem, but I'm not convinced it's the school

^ this

Nottodaythankyouorever · 27/11/2015 21:00

It isn't acceptable for your DC to hit other children

CasualJersey · 27/11/2015 21:03

My DD is year1.
If she had hit another child last year (in reception class) I would have expected her to miss out on GT and also backed the school in their decision.
I would also be questioning her ability to recognise the passing of an hours activity, given that she couldn't tell the time then!(still can't obviously!!)

I imagine she was asked to think about her actions in her quiet time and adopted the head on table pose herself.
I would, however, question this as a direction from staff and expect it to be an exaggeration. It's not something I would be happy about as a parent or teacher if and would always politely enquire as the the punishment

I would absolutely support the school in their decision to reprimand my child for her abusive actions.

Just yesterday a child in my class harmed another child and the was subsequently isolated for the WHOLE DAY!

My advice to you... grow a pair, work with the school, understand actions have consequence and realise your child is definitely not suited to working alone in the corridor, instead she needs to develop skills in managing her temper and behaviour in a busy classroom.
Good luck with years 1-6!

Ickythumpsmum · 27/11/2015 21:52

I just did the advanced search and had a good laugh to myself at your previous posts.

Then I thought about it, and I think you just don't really understand how school differs to home life. Your daughter has to learn to do things like look after her jumper, and not hit the kid beside her. She will get in trouble. You won't like it. But if you let her work through it, she will come through it fine like most people do. If you give her an excuse for everything she does wrong, she will be unable to look after herself.

She's really young, so she is going to get it all wrong and be told off. All the other kids in the class are the same. However, step by step they have to become more responsible for actions and belongings. You have to step back and let it happen.

Let her enjoy and like her school.