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AIBU?

to think that reception aged children should be able to earn back their Golden Time?

191 replies

Classof2032 · 27/11/2015 18:56

DD had no Golden Time at all today. She had to sit in the classroom with her head on the desk while all of the other children played :( Surely it's just cruel to punish children like that. Once she had had a talking to it was just proving a point.

Her misdemeanour was yesterday anyway. She said she tried really, really hard today but it was no good.

I am sure that all of the recent educational theories advise against GT and treating children like this.

OP posts:

Report

redcaryellowcar · 27/11/2015 22:00

I'm slightly astounded at some of the quite unhelpful posts from so many, I don't know you op, but my take on this post (I've not read any of your previous) is that it seems strange not to take each day at a time, if hope punishment where required would be more immediate for reception and ks1 children. I'm thinking the alternative to golden time for her seems wholly unproductive, if assume golden time was a treat, so everyone who has earned golden time does that, everyone else carries on as normal.
If this is a state school, I suppose it must be tricky to 'supervise' all children.
I think your point about why it happened is valid, doesn't make hitting ok, but if I were the teacher is want to know or at least begin to understand why and I'd be keeping a close me eye on them both.
I'm slightly amazed at the amount of 'punishment' that seems to be happening in reception classes, my training (I'm a teacher qualified in 2003) was that you are far better to reinforce positive behaviour with rewards, (eg golden time) plan activities that are engaging and exciting.
As for the pp who said a ht wouldn't see golden time as a learning time and alluded it to wasted time, surely it has loads of opportunities for being really valuable, I've heard of fantastic ideas for golden time including den building, setting up a cinema, having a pretend sleep over, so many learning opportunities in all of the above. Surely it's not just time to watch a film?

Sirzy · 27/11/2015 22:09

I don't see the point of golden time in reception, given a large chunk of the day is meant to be free play how is golden time different to any other day?

However, the school were right to punish her. Better would have been sitting out of some of her next block of play after that bit of lesson while it was still immediate rather than making her wait until the next day though.

Hitting is not acceptable, I seem to remember in your previous posts you have mentioned problems with her behaviour in school to so it seems to be an ongoing issue so you need to look to work to help her learn acceptable behaviour before the problem escalates more.

IrisVillarca · 27/11/2015 22:10

I haven't read any of the other threads alluded to, or ASed them. Life is too short, seriously.

Just surprised at the gormless ermagerd, she HIT ANOTHER CHIIIILD, single vision wankers on this thread.
They are 4.
They are only in Aut2 Term.
Children don't spring into school in Sept with a dossier of needs and requirements n shizzle.

LemonRedwood · 27/11/2015 22:13

So because she is only 4, there should be no consequences for hitting another child?

Wolfiefan · 27/11/2015 22:16

Actually on P2 the OP says Y1. My child is the same age. I would be mortified and very cross if she hit another child for distracting her.
The OP didn't say. My child behaved badly. How can I get school to deal with this better?
It was my poor child has been treated badly by school.

LemonRedwood · 27/11/2015 22:19

Wolfie, the OP did return to tell me to read properly when I questioned if her dad was in rec or y1. I think the y1 references were about her hopes for next year, just phrased a bit poorly. Thread title says reception and in posts over the past 2 weeks OP has said her daughter is 4.

LemonRedwood · 27/11/2015 22:20

Dd, not dad

MinesAPintOfTea · 27/11/2015 22:22

Iris DS is 3. If he hit another child there would be consequences. Much like if he hits me or DH he gets sent for a sitdown and time out. The older he gets, the stricter the consequences for violence will get.

He also goes to nursery, where I expect them to provide an environment where hitting is strongly discouraged.

lunar1 · 27/11/2015 22:30

It wouldn't teach her anything if they gave the golden time back. Our school does this and it really pisses me off. One boy who has hit ds1 many times has learnt that as long as you don't hurt people Thursday afternoon or Friday you will get golden time back and probably star of the week.

clam · 27/11/2015 22:37

Can we just get straight the fact that there is NO WAY that this child would have "been made to" sit with her head on the desk for an hour. That is derailing much of the thread. Let's stick to "should my child have missed their golden time? Answer: yes."

Sirzy · 27/11/2015 22:38

I also doubt one incident would lead to the loss of the whole of golden time. Normally is 3 or 4 steps isn't it?

Wolfiefan · 27/11/2015 22:38

I wouldn't expect a reception child to hit either. Sorry.
What if it is your child being thumped?

BifsWif · 27/11/2015 22:49

4 is old enough to know tha hitting is acceptable. The school were absolutely right to remove GT.

You need to change your attitude towards your daughters school OP.

MrsExcited · 27/11/2015 22:51

So something else the school have done wrong on a Friday. I take it she didn't lose her jumper today and demand to know from the teacher where it was.

It sounds to me that your daughter is lacking manners expected of her age and you are trying to excuse her constantly and blame evryone else.

ReallyTired · 27/11/2015 22:52

A child needs to know that hitting other people had consequences. I think it's right that the op child lost golden time. Perhaps it might make her think twice before hitting other children. I think that the op daughter sounds like an ill mannered brat who has experienced some discipline for the first time in her life. Wanting silence is no excuse for violence.

bittapitta · 27/11/2015 23:00

When I was 4-5 I would certainly have somewhat exaggerated the tale to my parents. She showed you how she "had" to sit with her arms folded and head on the desk? She is elaborating as she already knows you believe her word against the school's. Please check what actually happened with the teacher - the time allotted and the unusual punishment requirements don't add up IMO. Just ask the teacher, don't go in all guns blazing, just ask for clarity on what she had to do during time out and for how long. Good luck.

ilovesooty · 27/11/2015 23:07

I thought from another thread that the OP has to communicate with the school through the deputy head teacher.

IguanaTail · 27/11/2015 23:19

Lemonredhead the reason you thought the child was in Year 1 was because you read the following:

I had hoped that Year 1 would be less busy This suggests the child is in year 1 and it is not living up to her expectations. It's not surprising you thought the child was in year 1 because that is what was implied.

We are not allowed to sit 16 year olds in the corridor as teachers are responsible for the kids in our care. A much younger child would be far harder to keep an eye on.

PenelopePitstops · 27/11/2015 23:29

Get your kid to behave. Schools don't have the facilities for her to sit in a corridor because she can't behave properly.

Tbh you sound like you are blaming the school for something that you should be dealing with at home.

spaceyboo · 27/11/2015 23:32

You are being unreasonable. Also, have you discussed this with the school? It's not unreasonable to expect that a child who hit another kids might also be lying about being forced to put her head on the desk? Perhaps she was given work to do and refused to do it? Neice used to do this alot - it took me a while to realise the problem was her rather than the teacher (she missed her old pre-school).

cleaty · 27/11/2015 23:33

Reception is generally tough for children who are not used to being told what to do, and who are used to having everything geared towards their needs. But reception is also very important for these children, they learn a lot.

Valdeeves · 28/11/2015 01:32

As always I'm surprised at how harsh some of these replies are!!!
Sunbeams out of her arse??? Really???
I'm an early years teacher and I don't believe in loss of golden time and a lot of my colleagues didn't either yet we had to enforce it. It doesn't work because it's only done on one day which can be a week away from an incident. A thinking chair or loss of play on the day it happens works more. An apology, making a sorry card also work more. Hitting, shoving, pushing are what kids occasionally do - there's 30 of them jostling over the same toys!
I have seen kids so frightened at loss of golden time - when they go to the hall and are berated during the minutes lost that they cry or tremble. This isn't right - they are FOUR. A four year old should not be excluded from play for an hour.

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CoraBeth · 28/11/2015 06:44

Recept isn't all "play"
The class l work in, has lots of 'jobs' to complete each day.
Phonics, finger gym etc...
You can tell those that aren't expected to obey at home - very early on.
I don't think your daughter lost an hour, it wouldn't be allowed.

YouMakeMyDreams · 28/11/2015 07:42

I have read your other threads and can't help feeling you are hell bent on not working with the school. Your dad is one of several in the classroom. They can work with her but cannot adapt the whole routine to suit her. You need to get onside with the school and fast because you are doing her no favours at the moment.
By all means ask about the head on table that's not on but it is entirely possible from what you've said in the past that your dad was vocal about her loss of golden time and instead of doing the worksheet she had been given, huffed onto the desk and the teacher decided to pick her battles and leave her to it.
It's a huge adjustment when doc start school I get that but you can't control everything anymore and have to get on with the fact that your dad is one of many now and you chose to send her to school so you have to help her learn to adapt to that.

Flashbangandgone · 28/11/2015 08:26

It seems you are relying on your daughter for a full and accurate version of events. I have a 4 year old so realise their descriptive limitations in this regard.... Of course you take what she says seriously, but to accept on face value her account that she say with head on desk for an hour is very naive.

As for working in the corridor on her own... Clear why the school can't allow that. If she has genuine issues then an ed psych might be needed.

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