to think that reception aged children should be able to earn back their Golden Time?

[Classof2032]

DD had no Golden Time at all today. She had to sit in the classroom with her head on the desk while all of the other children played :( Surely it's just cruel to punish children like that. Once she had had a talking to it was just proving a point.

Her misdemeanour was yesterday anyway. She said she tried really, really hard today but it was no good.

I am sure that all of the recent educational theories advise against GT and treating children like this.

[BlackeyedSusan]

ffs. what happened to sitting out for five minutes at the time of the bloody incident?

so, what are her other issues? attention? sensitivity to noise? how is she exhibiting the stress of the noisy environment and do you have any other concerns?

I think sometimes school need to look at the cause of bad behaviour in addition to punishing in a suitable manner for a four year old.

[BoGrainger]

Oh no. Is this the same poster who thought the teacher was being rude about the jumper? Also, the head on the desk thing, is this the same way we used to rest after lunch in reception in the 60s? Head on arms on the table? It wasn't a punishment, it was great

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

Of course someone has to watch her! They can't sit a child of that age in the corridor to work unsupervised as a solution to her hitting someone for distracting her!

For minor things like talking in class, yes earn it back. Hitting, kicking etc, not really, even at that age. But the punishment should be on the same day

[CoraBeth]

You can't ask children to just sit out. They need to be concentrating most of the day on their learning. There is more a located play in reception, but not that much. I would say they are learning 70% of the time. The children look forward to choosing, losing a small part of this element of the day - really helps them to try to behave. The curriculum takes on board they are only 5/6. To be constantly in 'trouble' takes some doing. I'd recommend asking for a meeting with an educational psychologist. Just to see if that sheds any light. op as others have said, you do sound mightily stressed. There will always be people/teachers in schools that you won't like, or who don't respond the way you'd like. You will never fix that. Try to find a bit of calm, for bothof your sakes.

[CoraBeth]

allocated play.

[thelouise]

I'm not sure if it's this school or the school environment that you're having trouble with but if it is this school, are there any other options? Perhaps a move could give you both a clean slate.

[DisappointedOne]

You can tell those that aren't expected to obey at home - very early on.
I'm confused. Are we raising people or drones?

[DisappointedOne]

Christ. England's education system SUCKS! My just 5 year old is in reception and at least 70% of the time they are learning through play. They have at least an hour of free play every day and only 3 short sessions a day where they are asked to sit and be quiet and put hands up to answer.

This is a Welsh medium school, so they're teaching fluency in a language most children don't use at home as well as maths, science, etc.

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Part of reception targets are following instructions. Things are delayed where one defiant child does not co operate. This impacts on time. And its the fun things that get missed!!

[IoraRua]

Not raising drones Disappointed, but personally I've always found it easy to pick out the ones who simply haven't been told no at home.

They then find school very difficult when they can't do what they want all the time.

[Enjolrass]

Op I suspect this didn't happen in the way that you think it did.

It's not December yet and so far you have met with the deputy head (more than once) because you feel that your dd isn't getting enough homework and you don't understand the concept of not getting back her PE kit every week (which happens in lots of schools).

You then got your knickers in a twist because your dd went up to her teacher, in front of you, interrupted her and said 'where's my jumper?' (No excuse me or manners because you and her think manners are 'waffle') and the teacher told her to look for it.

Now your dd has hit another child and you aren't happy with the punishment. She and you are claiming she was forced to sit with head on the desk for an hour. You aren't happy that it's not a quiet environment and they won't let her work in the corridor alone?

I really think you need to look into homeschooling.

[Enjolrass]

How do you suggest she earns it back? By unhitting the child?

Please remember the child she hit is also 4, perhaps 5. It's not ok to hit because someone else is distracting you.

[CasualJersey]

*Disappointed
It doesn't suck
Reception children DO learn through play.
From what can you make that judgement.

[Enjolrass]

disappointed

Schools in England do learn through play. Yes they do sit at desks and do stuff like painting or writings their name.

Golden time is (30 mins at our school) where they do different activities that are just play. Not learning through play. Although I would say they do learn.

Ds gets to choose from

Baking
Creative corner (to make whatever they want and bring home rather than something related to their topic)
Art
Dancing
ITC
Own toys from home
An obstacle course in the hall

There are a couple more but these are the ones he usually picks and I can't remember the rest.

[DisappointedOne]

Wowsers. A whole 30 mins a week to act like children? Lucky kids.

[chillycurtains]

It sounds like there are more issues here than earning back Golden Time.

Imo, no you should not be able to earn back Golden Time. I apply the same reasoning to punishments which DC may get at home ie. DC are rude or something and they lose their tv time or iPad time but they can't do some 'good' to earn it back. I don't think that sends the correct message to children. You can't do something wrong like hit someone then do some good like help another child or behave well to make amends. That isn't life and we don't do children any good to teach them that it is. If I pushed you over in a supermarket then I went and helped an old lady across the road I haven't made the bad thing that I did any better.
To the same token I generally don't take away any special treats that my children have earned such as they have done something which has made me treat them by allowing them to stay up late to watch a tv show, if they then misbehaved I would punish them with something else such as an iPad ban not taking away something they have earned. Again I don't think it gives them the right message. I am less strict with this though.

Losing a whole hours Golden Time for one incident seems disproportionate to me. I would talk to the teacher about the situation and why her Golden Time wasn't just reduced by half or 20 mins. 1 hour is a long time to a child. She may also have needs such as needing a quiet space to work which aren't being met. My DS got himself in loads of trouble before the teacher realised that the situation was solved by him sitting by himself when working. He prefers it. He just moves when the actual task is assigned not all day during school. It works so well and he is in hardly any trouble in class now. I would be more interested in discussing this with your DD's teacher than earning back Golden Time.

[Enjolrass]

Wowsers. A whole 30 mins a week to act like children? Lucky kids.

yes we get it, you think English schools are shit, so are ignoring the rest of what posted.

[SaucyJack]

I really don't think she needs to look into homeschooling. In fact, it would probably be the worst thing to do in the circumstances.

Yes, both the OP and her daughter have a touch of the special snowflake about them- but they're only a few weeks into the first year of formal schooling. The OP needs to develop the insight needed and the DD the coping skills to realise that they are now a small cog in a very large machine. Hiding at home with mummy for the next 14 years because because she lost golden time once would be ridiculous.

[Enjolrass]

saucy

Actually i would say you are right.

The reason I thought HS would be better is that the OP has seemed determined to dislike the teacher and suspect that would happen in any school she moves her dd top.

But, yes , in the long run it would be worse for the child.

[VestalVirgin]

You should talk to the teachers about providing a good learning environment for your daughter.

When I was in primary school I was constantly bullied and harrassed by boys IN CLASS.

They'd throw things at me, poke me, etc.

And I, too, was then punished for striking back.



As for that punishment ... I would sue against that. Forcing children to sit in uncomfortable positions as punishment is not much better than hitting them.

[PoorFannyRobin]

This thread -- making me despair for the future of (what we used to call) the free world.

[mygrandchildrenrock]

As someone else has said, years ago we all had to sit at our desks with our arms folded and put our head on our arms. I think every school in England did it, ask your parents or grandparents!
However, I think a reception class child at this time of the school year missing the whole of golden time is wrong. Obviously the OP's DD needed telling off for hitting a child, and needs other strategies for dealing with her stress/temper/upset. Whatever is wrong with an old fashioned telling off, done and dusted, everyday is a new day.

[enderwoman]

OP - What were your expectations of school before you started?

Were you educated at a state school in the UK?

I ask because your expectations of school seem to be wildly out of whack with reality.

School is a one-size-fits-all solution "prescribed" by the state like it was when I was a child. (Fortunately there is more compassion towards special needs.)

[Muddlewitch]

OP it may be that she spent golden time with her head down on the desk, but are you sure that the teacher told her she had to? That she didn't maybe get asked to do something else (worksheet or something) and didn't like it when she saw the others having more fun so put her head down and sulked instead? You really need to hear the other side of this from school.

I agree that there should be some occasions when golden time or any other 'treat' can't be earned back, and that violence should always be one of them. It is not something you can have children getting mixed messages or blurred lines about, they must learn from the off that it is wrong. And I say that as a parent of a very challenging child.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Oh it's you. Again.

Op is going to find the next 13.5 years of schooling very stressful if she doesn't chill out a bit.