DD2 took afew years off my life tonight. AIBU to ask you for happy ending stories of mislaid offspring?

[NorthernLurker]

Dd2 (who is nearly flipping 15 btw) was helping at school open evening. I said I would pick her up 'at the front of school' at 6.30. I was a couple of minutes late home so dh set off to get her. He waited over thirty minutes then went in to find her, only to discover she had left on time at 6.30. I rang one of her friends, he said he'd seen her heading out of the school grounds, no idea where she was. It was way past the length of time it would have taken her to walk home. I was starting to panic and chucked dd3 in car (dd1 was out) and set off to drive the route she would walk home. Meanwhile dh was rallying teachers who were also ringing round. Dd2 is sensible (as in not likely to be out drinking) and law abiding. It just didn't make any sense!

As I drove towards school I was scanning the streets for her and finally on the corner before the school exit I saw her. Screeched to halt and shouted 'what the heck was she doing'. She shouted back 'where have you beeeeeeeeen' So I ordered her back in to school where we met dh. Turns out she thought she was in the right place because that's where I've picked her up from before as the school buses are in the school grounds at 3.30. After hours we've always picked up from the school drive itself. It never occurred to us that a perfectly bright 14 yr old could think out the gate and on a corner was 'the front of school'. She didn't have her phone with her because she isn't supposed to have it at school at all. A mistake we will not make again.......She must have been going out of one gate as dh drove in the other (one way system) so he didn't see her.

Anyway so a few tears all round and a feeling of relief which is still hitting me.

So what's happened to everybody else?

I lost my DD at the age of two years and eleven months at a Jehovah's witnesses assembly.
She was stood next to me, I saw a lady who I hadn't seen in a few months, gave her a hug exchanged pleasantries and my daughter was gone.
I looked everywhere, doors were locked so if she was in the building she wouldn't get out, and if she was out she would have been found by people looking for her outside.
Everyone was looking for her.., it must have been about fourth minutes i was in tears, I'm literally thinking this is bad..people look as concerned as I feel,
The child jumps up and says, SURPRISE!! I HID!!
She thought she was at our original chairs, she wasn't. And she couldn't understand why I was so upset.
It was the single most distressing point of my life, nothing compares to the fear of thinking you've lost your child.

I went to a friend's house after school when I was 7. They kept telling me I could stay for tea but I said I had to go home - it was about 5.30/6pm. 1975, so pre-mobile days and many people didn't even have landline phones.

My mum was in her bedroom window which overlooked the route I would be arriving on. She went mad but I think was more relieved than anything. I got it, even at that age and even now, ring her when I leave and arrive (live 120 miles away now).

I lost my DD age 4 at Zurich airport. I was having coffee with a friend and her children and when it was time to go my DD decided not to wait for me to hug my friend goodbye but to set off.

I hoped and dreaded that she was heading back to the car as although I would know where she was heading, the automatic doors would mean she could get into the car park.

I was shouting her name when a woman came up to me and asked in English if I was looking for a blonde haired little girl and told me the direction she was heading - straight to the car park doors

I caught up with her at the car park ticket machine just by the doors waiting for me as she knew I would have to pay for the parking before we went into the car park!

Longest couple of minutes of my life and much worse than when my DP and I lost her in the supermarket in Zurich She just headed for the toy department.

Urgh, what a thread!

I thought I'd lost DS1 forever when he was 11. A friend had invited him and a bunch of others to go swimming one morning in the holidays, and at lunchtime the friend's mum had rung to ask if he could stick around for the afternoon for a barbecue on nearby downland. I knew roughly where they'd be and she said she'd bring him home by 4. OK, fine.

4 came and went. Well, ok, things run on sometimes. 5 came and went and I'm starting to worry a bit. Unfortunately the mum's mobile is on the fritz and the landline she rang me from at lunchtime is going unanswered, which makes me think they're still on the downs or on their way. By 6, I'm really not feeling laidback anymore. Still no answer on the landline, so I decide to drive up to where I think they'll be on the downs.

No sign of them on the downs but there's a rural business nearby where some blokes are just packing up for the day so I ask if they've seen a bunch of kids having a barbecue. Nope, no one's been there all day, they say, which seems odd. Meanwhile, still no answer on friend's landline, and DP (at home) confirms DS still hasn't arrived. So next I drive to the friend's house to see if they went home to hang out instead. But no, no one at friend's house. Still no sign of DS at our house. So now I start ringing round other parents to see if anyone else's kid is on this outing and if they know anything.

Just at this point, standing outside the friend's house, I happen to see the big transit van that belongs to the rural business out on the edge of the downland driving though town. In a moment of inspired but completely irrational paranoia, I decide that DS - and possibly all his friends - have been kidnapped by the guys in the van, who are probably at this very moment on their way to the ferry to traffic them into sexual slavery in mainland Europe. May have seen too many lurid TV dramas.

I'm not sure if I'm proud or ashamed of the fact that I made a split second decision to jump in my car and 'follow that van', but I did exactly that, did some very nifty tailing and lane changing, though I say so myself, and followed two extremely bemused guys to... Tesco.

Fortunately, just as I was about to confront them and demand that they open their van up for inspection, DP rang to say that DS had just been dropped off by apologetic friend's mum three hours late.

Bought him a mobile after that.

Oh yeah, and her kid gave DS nits that day too!

NC as this will out me for sure.

When I was three I lived at my nans house she had a coi carp pond which was around six foot deep she lived next to a really busy main road. One day they couldn't find me they shouted and looked all around the house in the fish pond and by the main road. Eventually I jumped out of the pantry and shouted boo. I was a devil child.

I once babysat for my best friend while she went out with her other half. Went up the next morning and told her I was off to work, spoke to her, she rolled over and went back to sleep, I left and shut the door. Then unknown to any of us her 3 year old came downstairs pulled a chair over and let himself out as no-one had done the bolt after I left. He crossed two zebra crossings and went to the local supermarket, helping himself to some sweets. First she knew was when the police came crashing in shouting her name. I never saw anyone as shaken as she was that day. He was so happy with the massive bag of sweets the supermarket gave him and could not understand why anyone was crying.

My aunt lost her (precocious) 3 year old in M&S in a city centre. Cue mad panic, tears, searching outside, inside, police called, the lot. About half an hour later, a message came through the police radio - cousin had turned up at the train station and went to the ticket desk to tell staff "I can't get a ticket cos I,ve not got any money, but if you could just phone my daddy, he'll meet me at the stop and pay you! ". My aunt didn't take her shopping again for a while years

Not what you're asking for at all here - but from your daughter's perspective, why would she expect either of you to collect her from somewhere other than where you usually collect her from or if there are two different meeting places you use, why it would take you half an hour to check the second one?

You were frightened; you found her and seemingly blamed her for the miscommunication when she was no doubt just as frightened and no more at fault than you.

Better problem solving and communication skills all round are needed, not overreliance on technology.

DM and DDad lost DBro in Mt St Michel. He was around 7 (I was 9). He was standing behind us, then he wasn't. Turned out he'd got mixed up in another English-language tour group and when he realised, figured it would be better to stick with them because all tour groups started and finished at the same place. I still remember Mum's face going chalky white.

I was mostly irritated because I was promised an icecream and I did not receive it.

I have lost DD a few times. She escaped out the front door at around 18m- I was carrying the laundry basket on my hip and she was under it, out of sight. I thought I'd left her playing in her room. Next thing I knew a strange man was holding her, knocking on my door saying "uhm, is this yours? She nearly got hit by a car."

Not much older, we were at a friend's DS's 1st party. It was at a seaside park, high summer. It was heaving, absolutely chockers. Different DFriend and I were taking it in turns to keep an eye on our two so the other could chat for five minutes. I shifted to get a better view of DF's DD, swivelled to check mine...gone. Blammo. Cue she and I instantly hunting for her.
Other party-going parents were fucking useless.
"Have you seen DD? I can't find her, it's been ten minutes."
"Ooooh, you're so calm! I'd be frantic."
Yes, you fucking cow, I am fucking bricking it but panicking isn't going to fucking help is it?
Forty minutes later, DF (who was just as worried as I) spots her curled up in the sand, in a tiny little divot in the playground. You had to be at the exact right angle to see in.

I'm not friends with any of the other party-going parents any more.

My best friend was forgotten in her pram outside a shop as a baby, she's still here to tell the tale

Wow there are some scary stories here! So glad all well.

Independentfriend -you're absolutely right, that's not what I asked for at all. FYI, as you will see from my OP it never occurred to us that she could have misunderstood what was to me a clear term. Hence dh not looking there. It wouldn't have occurred to him anyway as he's never picked her up from there. I suppose it didn't occur to me as my brain was obviously occupied with the fact that my precious kid wasn't where she was supposed to be. Thanks for your input although I will be totally ignoring it as problem solving skills and communication is not generally an issue in this family and we are certainly not blaming dd. If I blame anybody I blame myself for being a few minutes later than I meant. I look forward to posting some smug cant on a future thread of yours when you've been scared to death I'm sure it will be as welcome to you as your post is to me.

Yes Northern You dilatory and useless parent, hone those communication skills RIGHT NOW (and Independentfriend could I guide you to this thread, look and learn Friend, look and learn...)

It must be utterly lovely never to have buggered up, I would love to swim in such rarified waters.

We were attending a communal weekend event on a college campus in the middle of the countryside when my daughter was about 6. She had made friends with Z, a boy about a year older than her. There was an outdoor activity on one of the evenings and she walked away from us but was with Z. At the end of the event we couldn't find her.

I remember running through pitched darkness all over the campus, looking in all the possible places where she could have been. Z's mother was there and was completely unconcerned. The campus was completely open and backed on to a main road. I was haunted by the worry that someone had come on to the site and taken them.

After looking for her, I went to one of the organisers and explained what had happened. I asked if they could help us to search for the children. He was completely unconcerned and said that she would turn up. I carried in running round the campus, shouting out her name. Eventually I found another organiser who was a parent herself and explained what had happened. She arranged for the 'lost child' procedure to be implemented. Eventually both children were found sitting by a fire joining in a communal sing-song. It turned out that they had both joined the lantern parade that led on from our evening activity and thought that we had also joined.

I have never forgotten my feelings of panic and desperation that evening, which were made all the more worse by the lack of concern shown by most of the adults involved.

Dd (3) wandered off at our local tesco. She was standing looking at a pretend horse(????) So I turned my back for a second to get a trolley and put baby in it, when I turned around she was gone. My heart stopped. Frantically looked around and went inside the store, found her walking up the different checkouts. I just grabbed her and hugged her, don't think I've ever been so terrified. Think she was only missing 1 minute but it's the thoughts going through your head of what could have happened and where is she most likely have gone.

I lost my ds 2 (nearly 3) the other day in town. Had wandered through a few shops including a toy shop on way to post office. He disappeared while I was writing on parcels but as he'd been hiding behind stands/round the corner I thought he was still there. Finished paying and could not find him. Checked both exits no sign so went onto main road side and asked passerbys and into a different toyshop in case he was there but no luck. Starting to panic and went back out other exit, was carrying scooter and thankfully a woman came up and asked if I was looking for boy in blue helmet and pointed direction. Found him in first toyshop playing with a marble maze.

Also lost ds 5 at a day of the dead festival. I was talking to an ex colleague and said ds had to wait before we could get him icecream so he wandered off in a dramatic huff but I thought he was sticking in the kids area with bouncy castles. He is usually fairly cautious and it was very busy. Dh comes over with ds 2 and asks where he is... can't find him. I suggest trying playground next door but dh panics and asks everyone he knows there to start looking. He was on swing in playground.

Good grief independantfriend have you got children?

I honestly don't know any parent who hadn't taken their eye off the ball, or in this case child, at least once.

My DM used to constantly lose me as a child. I hated it and would always cry to the nearest adult and DM would be found and tell me off for being dramatic I hasten to add that she was a very conscientious parent in other ways!

Also many years ago my gm was babysitting for a neighbour. Arrived and child already in bed so she settled down with her knitting and parents head off. They get home and ask how evening has gone, turns out very well and child has not woken at all. Later that evening policeman finds small child wandering on road... never clarified if he absconded prior to her arriving or ehile she was on duty.

My sister went missing when she was 9. Me, my 2 brothers, mum and stepdad were having breakfast and mum kept calling her downstairs and she didn't show. We all went to school (I was 10). Later that day around 2pm the police came to my school and asked me where I thought she might be.

Suddenly I had an idea she might have gone to an abandoned building about 2.5 miles away from our house as she once said it would be a good place to live, and there were out of date drinks left in there from the shop next door.

I went with the police and when we got there, there was a police helicopter and 3 or 4 police cars. My mum flew out the car and there was my sister eating tinned pineapple on crate with a tea towel as a tablecloth! my mum broke down in tears and I got loads of hugs for finding her! My poor mum!

I was out shopping with DM and DNiece who was only about 2 or three at the time...in M&S and DNiece disappeared. Cue frantic searching and hysteria (not sure if it is worse to lose your own child or a child you are supposed to be looking after!). Eventually she was spotted by a security guard toddling quite happily towards the front door babbling to herself. My poor DM was in such a state we had to leave immediately...instead of the 20 minute walk home she insisted on getting a taxi home as she was so traumatised. For years after DNiece used to recall fondly 'that time we got to get a taxi home from the shops!' like it was some kind of special treat.

Have lost DS 3 times. The first time was when we were in a busy town centre and i discovered that 3 year old DS could unfasten the wrist strap he had on and he dissapeared for what was only seconds but felt like hours (went back to using his buggy after that) I found him stood still crying his eyes out about 3 feet from where we had been! I was so relieved to see him!

The second time bloody houdini DS was in the local park and i took my eyes off him for a second and he was gone. He was found on the street next to the park by my friend wandering up and down totally oblivious!

The 3rd time DS was a little older and we had gone out with the two dogs i had at the time. Ds was on his bike and on strict instructions not to go too far. We got to field where we took dogs and one of them decided to have a poo. So i told DS to stay where he was while i cleaned up after the dog. Ds decided not to wait and in the time it took me to clean up after the dog he had gone. I couldnt see him anywhere and asked everyone i saw if they had seen him but they hadnt. By this time i was convinced that someone had taken him and i was in a panic. Thank God a lady out walking her dog had seen him go past her on his bike and showed me where he had gone. I followed the path she said he had gone and eventually found him outside our house! I didnt know whether to kill him or kiss him. Fortunatley the walk led back to our house so DS had just followed the route we usually took with the dogs. I was glad he had the sense to know where he was going but funnily enough he never went missing again after that!

I lost my ds 5 at the time in A huge water park in Spain in August. It was heaving. He wanted to go on a zip wire thing so I said ok will be in the pool at the end waiting for you. He queued but changed his mind so I waited and waited but he didn't arrive. I got out of the pool and started to walk back to the start line I saw him in the distance called but he couldn't hear me then I lost sight of him. I was on my own I didn't know wether to wait where we agreed to meet or go to the zip wire line. I kept going back and forth no sign of him. Finally decided to leave the area to go and report him lost at the entrance but first checked where we had dumped our bags about a 10 min walk away as I wanted my phone as it had pictures of him on it, and there he was sitting all alone crying. At 5 he had the sense to go back to our stuff, how he remembered the way was amazing as this was our first visit we literally put our bags down and just ran off to explore, this water park is massive.
Also lost him aged 8 this time on a huge ferry going to Spain. He was in the play area we left him giving him an extra 10 minutes of play and said we would be in the cafe 2 minutes away waiting he couldn't find us apparently so he went to the information desk and they put an announcement out for will the parents of .... Come and claim him.

Lost DS in Mothercare for literally minutes - he was about 1 and although walking was still pretty unsteady. He ran round a display one way and I went round the other way thinking to surprise him and he wasn't there. I straightened up and saw the automatic doors opening. Absolute heart stopping panic thinking he had somehow got out the door onto the car park and I dashed outside. He meanwhile had changed direction and had gone back the way he came round the display (does that make sense?) and was wandering aimlessly in the middle of the shop.

Bloody awful feeling no matter how short a time.