DD2 took afew years off my life tonight. AIBU to ask you for happy ending stories of mislaid offspring?

[NorthernLurker]

Dd2 (who is nearly flipping 15 btw) was helping at school open evening. I said I would pick her up 'at the front of school' at 6.30. I was a couple of minutes late home so dh set off to get her. He waited over thirty minutes then went in to find her, only to discover she had left on time at 6.30. I rang one of her friends, he said he'd seen her heading out of the school grounds, no idea where she was. It was way past the length of time it would have taken her to walk home. I was starting to panic and chucked dd3 in car (dd1 was out) and set off to drive the route she would walk home. Meanwhile dh was rallying teachers who were also ringing round. Dd2 is sensible (as in not likely to be out drinking) and law abiding. It just didn't make any sense!

As I drove towards school I was scanning the streets for her and finally on the corner before the school exit I saw her. Screeched to halt and shouted 'what the heck was she doing'. She shouted back 'where have you beeeeeeeeen' So I ordered her back in to school where we met dh. Turns out she thought she was in the right place because that's where I've picked her up from before as the school buses are in the school grounds at 3.30. After hours we've always picked up from the school drive itself. It never occurred to us that a perfectly bright 14 yr old could think out the gate and on a corner was 'the front of school'. She didn't have her phone with her because she isn't supposed to have it at school at all. A mistake we will not make again.......She must have been going out of one gate as dh drove in the other (one way system) so he didn't see her.

Anyway so a few tears all round and a feeling of relief which is still hitting me.

So what's happened to everybody else?

My ds2 was a bugger for wandering off. My poor Dad lost him on two separate occasions at Legoland and we lost him in IKEA. He's never been remotely fazed when we've caught up with him. On the second occasion at Legoland, he followed my instructions to the letter, went up to someone in uniform and showed them my phone number which id written on his arm! He was about 5 I think.

DS1's old nursery managed to lose DS. It was about a week into his placement there and they didn't even ring me to tell me. When I got there to pick him up they just said "oh, he got out of one of the doors in a painting apron, we didn't know until some man brought him back, sorry."

I lost ALL faith in that school after that incident, but there weren't any other schools in the area.

I also "lost" DS2 at the same school. He'd unclipped himself from the pram (he was clearly too big for said pram)and had wandered off to play on the climbing frames they had in the play ground. Took me ages to find him and it wasn't until I broke down (with DS1 nearly crying as well because his brother was missing) that a TA came over with DS2 holding her hand.

I was so glad to get out of that area before DS2 started at the nursery, who knows what would have happened.

Both boys then got the nickname houdini, and it still brings me out in a cold sweat when I think about it...

My DS got away from me on the school run. He was 5. He scooted off ahead of me, on a footpath, and usually would stop and wait for me to catch up. On this occasion I rounded a corner and he had disappeared.
There was a choice of two ways to get home, another shortcut back towards school, and quite a steep ditch with a stream at the bottom bordering the path. I didn't know whether to stand still and wait incase he came back, go home (but which route?), or check the stream incase he had fallen down the bank. After quite a lot of panic, tears and running around like a headless chicken, I borrowed a phone and braced myself to ring DH at home and tell him I'd lost DS. DS had just arrived at the house........seems he didn't know where i'd gone so decided to go home. The fact he had to cross a busy road to do so made my blood run cold. I arrived home a crying, snotty mess - not sure whether to shout at him or hug him. It was, without doubt, the worst feeling ever

First off, this was a time when the Jamie Bulger case was fresh in my mind and it disturbed me badly. At this time I've still not read all the details of the case because I can't bring myself to.

DS was playing out with friends, quiet street, all the usual crowd, no problem.
Came time for all to come in for dinner but no sign of DS, wandered a few other streets they sometimes went onto, no sign. Knocked on doors of all friends, not there.
Checked out nearest parks etc no sign.
Started to panic a little.
More wandering of streets yelling his name in case he had gone into a new house, still no sign.
Went home and called police as he was now over two hours overdue, gave all details and then went back out, not sure what to do but didn't go far.
As police van pulled up so DS rocked up with a new friend and his mother who looked at me like I was insane for calling the police even though it was nearly three hours after dinner time by now.
The bitch must have realised I was distraught because I was crying but she never bloody said a word.
I banned DS from going to her house on the grounds that she clearly didn't give a shit.
But he was fine.

Brings back horrible memories. We were in Butlins. I took my eyes of DS then just turned 4 for literally less than a minute when I went to grab a glass from the bar. He was gone. I ran around frantically calling him, looked one way and saw the door was wide open to a main road, looked at the other door and saw the amusements. Ran into the amusements taking a guess at where he would choose to go. Nowhere to be seen. My heart was pounding. I thought I was going to be sick. I had visions in my head of him lying dead in the road, being snatched by pedophiles, him crying looking for me. And then in a weird moment of clarity. I just stopped, covered my ears and thought 'if I was Bogeybrainsds, where would I be?' and just raced through the amusements, through the restaurant to the little coin operated car outside and found him sitting on it as happy as a pig in shit. The whole ordeal lasted only 20 minutes - it felt like hours. I'll never, ever forget it.

Went into get dd1 up from a nap she was in the hall in her buggy and she wasnt there the little bugger darling had gone into her bedroom and was hiding in her playtent 5 minutes i looked for her she shouted booo thought it was hilarious me not so much

We lost our 2 year old in the reptile house/aviary in a Belgian zoo. There was a crawl through area with two exits and we were standing at the wrong one. We had to explain everything to the security guards in frankly inadequate French - all the time thinking of the news stories of a particularly grim Belgian paedophile ring that was in the news at the time. Turns out that DD was on an upper level walkway so because she could see us, it didn't occur to heartbeat there was a problem.

Mind you I managed to lose my 11 year old the other day in a small, empty Sainsburys. He had almost given up hope and decided to walk home.

I don't scare easily but there's nothing that causes me to crap myself when on of the DD's goes AWOL. And the relief of finding her again:-)

I could relate to an incidence where DD1 went missing, her mum who was manic depressive lost her quite innocently but she, DD knew she wasn't where she was supposed to be and walked home by herself and the poor soul can only have been 4 or 5 said that she chose that way via the high street as if she got lost she could ask someone in a shop as it'd be safer there then across the estate which was shorter!.

RandomMess if that car boot sale was in the North East and your daughter was distracted by a small dog I think I was helping look for you!

DM spent her life losing me in shops. She was blithely unconcerned on the grounds that I would be in the book department reading something, and when it was time to go home she's just go and find me. To this day I have a mysterious sixth sense that leads me to libraries, and I was the only member of my CCF group who came back from our camping trek across Dartmoor having bought three books.

The feeling in the pit of your stomach is horrific isnt it ? I dithered about letting dd go to London alone (she has a LD ) and when that woman phoned to say they couldnt find her or contact her i was thinking all sorts and wanted to throw up i had an extra glass of wine that night

When I was about seven or eight, must have been this time of year, my parents took me alone with them on a trip to B&Q. The queue for the till took ages and then my Dad was bloody haggling or doing some equally ridiculous and time consuming thing. I noticed these red footprints on the floor and just followed them round the corner to where there was a Santa's grotto. You had to pay to go in but there was an 'elf' outside and as I was a bit of a chatty kid I just stood and talked to her for a while - I think we bonded over Harry Potter! Then after probably quite a while I thought to myself 'hmm, maybe my parents are ready to go now', wandered to the tills, couldn't find them, wandered out into the carpark and was immediately swept up by my mother. To this day when I remember how panicked she looked I feel guilty! But my kid brain just didn't think about it: it was just ooh, footsteps, must follow them!

When I was about 5 my dad lost me in a department store. I remember trying to be really grown up and telling a member of staff I'd lost my daddy, 10 minutes and a tannoy announcement later all was well.

He then took me for an ice cream and asked me not to tell my mother. And I didn't...for about 30 years. Her face was a picture

One of my earliest memories is being in a busy seaside resort (Spain probably) with my parents, sitting in a restaurant, my father goes back to the hotel and I follow him. I don't know if he realised that I was coming with him but he lost me. I remember being very scared, wandering through the crowd unable to talk to anyone. I couldn't find the hotel but I got back to the restaurant. My mum nearly had a heart attack when she saw me coming back by myself. I must have been 4 or 5.

Three stories.

One is horrendous.

1/. My eldest DD. nearly 3 at the time. Had only just started walking. We were at Xscape with my family. All of us. So 8 adults. We are all sat talking waiting for our activity to start, mum and her fella were going to watch from the cafe with baby kelsoo. I look around for her. This is the kid that is the most laid back, lazy, calm thing known to man. We'd all forgotten she could walk tbh. She wasn't there. Couldn't see her anywhere. Blood went cold. We all start the hunt, grabbing security. You name it. When all of a sudden she saunters over to us all, cool as you please. "Wanted to go in the lift mummy" she said.

2/. And this haunts me and impresses me. I have a large, secured back garden. Fences on three sides our house on the other. I couldn't climb over the fence without something to stand on. Padlocked gate (on the outside, not the inside) No holes in fence. Like fort knox. The two girls are playing in the backgarden, as they do. I'm pottering in the house with the patio doors open, one ear out. DH is cleaning the living room. Normal saturday afternoon right? Eldest DD comes in to use the toilet. I go to the living room to talk to husband. I live on a really busy road. Cars and lorries day and night. Set back from the road, about 30 foot. As I'm talking to DH I casually look out the window to see a man and a woman walking down my drive way. The woman goes round the side of the house and the man is carrying his daughter in his arms. "Who are these people? What a pretty baby" (clearly not paying attention) the man knocks on the door. Presents me with my 2 year old dd. "Is this yours" he says.
"What? Yes, what?" Seriously confused. Last I'd seen and heard she as in my backgarden. There was no way of anyone getting into it without me seeing (have to walkpast my kitchen window)
"She was in the middle of the road on her trike" says the man. The woman walks back round. "Was your front door locked?" she says "yes, I Keep both doors locked at all times".

According to the escape artist, she lifted her trike onto the raised flower bed, climbed up the flower bed, onto her trike and over the fence into the next door neighbours garden, who had a much higher raised bed on their side. She then lifted the trike over and off she went.

I now do not have a raised flower bed.

3/. Last week went to collect eldest DD from school. Youngest DD darts off to play in the cage as she does every night. Got eldest, called the youngest. No response. Couldn't see her for looking. Playground emptied, no DD. Grabbed the caretaker/supervisor. She'd last seen her in the cage. Cue me, the caretaker, 4 teachers and 2 TA's looking for her. The little monkey had run into the assembly hall (past 2 teachers and me!) and was playing hide and seek with us.....

I've lost DD1 more times than I care to remember ...
The supermarket was her favourite - probably the worst was when she was 6ish and whilst I was packing /paying she wandered off. Couldn't find her, reported her lost (again - the security guard recognised us and it wasn't the last time that was at 9 and they debated whether to treat it like a lost child or put out an announcement for her to come to customer services...)
Anyway I went to look to see if she had gone to the car and couldn't see her - the staff did the store sweep etc (I was told to watch the entrance/exit)- no sign, I went to check near the car again - and found her sitting on a low rail in front of the car but hidden between some trolleys ...
Lost her in shopping centre at 4 - found her looking at things in Clintons
She 'ran away' with her friend at 5ish - missing 30 mins.
She even disappeared 'by accident' - sleep walked and crawled between two bed bases in a holiday villa at 6-7ish- (I had checked the bottom of the swimming pool before I found her ).
But the absolute worst was at just 3. I was at a weekend work thing in a massive hotel (hundreds of rooms over several floors, several restaurants etc) in the middle of acres of forest.... in winter.
She was in a creche there when I was working but we had an afternoon off. I went to book her onto an activity at the reception and I had to give my details over the phone. One minute she was next to me - the next she had gone. I went back to the room, to the creche, to the restaurant where she ate her lunch (had a play area) - no sign. The reception had the staff searching the hotel, my work colleagues were searching outside (cos we were in reception with automatic doors she could easily have gone outside). I was told to stay at reception. She was missing for nearly 40 mins - long enough to be wondering when do you call the police? She was found in the play area at the restaurant ...it was down some stairs, along a corridor and through some doors...amazing that she had found it - and the reason I/the staff didn't see her sooner is she must have got lost on her way there...when they called to say they had got her I started welling up, when I saw her my legs gave out and I fell to my knees sobbing over her (in front of all my professional colleagues) ...she just asked me why I was crying ...
The thing that made me really think was the staff member who spotted her went up to her and said are you X? come with me I'll take you to your mum and off she went ... She had a name label on from the creche, it could have been anyone who spotted her playing on her own. After that we had a secret code word - if a stranger told her I had sent them for her she had to ask for the code word...
Used the same word for DD2 - but a very different child - now 8 and I have lost once in a supermarket for a few mins...
(and maybe coincidence but DD1 has been diagnosed with ADHD as teen....)

I have the worst, we were living in a HUGE house, 7,000 sq tf, surrounded by garden, huge house, huge garden. We were sitting in the orangery with friends, the DC's were playing. They were 3 and 4, just dibbling around, we were chatting with friends, DCs suggested hide and seek, we agreed, they hid. WE COULD NOT FIND. Anywhere, anywhere, there was a lake, I was running around, I waded in, DH drove down that lane, THERE WAS NO SIGN, we lived near a huge river and a busy A road. They had taken themselves down the A road, hand in hand, along the MASSIVE FUCKING A ROAD, WHERE CARS AND AGRICULTURAL VEHICLES THUNDERED, down to the river, down to the river that was in spate, a major river. Hand in hand. Like innocents. Luckily the neighbour was called in on for a glass of milk and one went after them and the other to us.

Jeysus. They were caught at the edge of the river.

I judge NO-ONE for losing their children.

I lost DS (3) yesterday three !! times in Debenhams. He was playing hide and seek apparently but failed to let me know I was the seeker. Each time I found him was just before the panic set in. Leaving him with Granny next time, I don't need extra grey hairs

We got a phone call at 8am from another parent asking us if we had heard if the coach out dd was on had crashed. We hadn't. It had.

I remember running downstairs and turning on the news to see the coach we had waved her goodbye on 10 days before on it's side, bashed in with luggage, shoes and stuff strewn all over. Then they reported there had been serious injuries and and at least one fatality.

I remember vomiting and dh dead dead white. Our ds was 21 that day and he was trying to field calls and hold us together. He looked so scared.

The door bell rang and I could see it was the police. Ds answered the door while me and dh just froze and prayed. We arnt religious.

Dd was alive. Injured but alive.

Sheer terror followed by sheer relief.

Who would be a parent aye?

This is a slightly different "missing child" story. DPs were staying with DGPs when I was a toddler. They decided to go out for a meal a deux while DGPs minded me. They got back, DGF was sitting in front of the TV. They made chit chat about how nice the meal had been and then said "Where's DGM?" To which the answer was "Oh, she's taken Frances to the hospital".

They assumed he was joking because he was so totally unconcerned, but no, I'd dismantled the cot, climbed to the top of the wardrobe, grabbed my DGM's heart pills (the only ones of the many pharmaceuticals there which could have done me serious harm, of course), opened the bottle, and arranging them into pleasing shapes when they found me. Nobody could work out whether there were any missing so they had to pump my stomach anyway. (I hadn't taken any)

Recently list DS, 17, at gatwick. Not brill.

First lost him when he was 2. All neighbours searching. Busy road. Finally discovered looking like a sleeping cherub behind a door.

Lost him in the playground.

Lost him often at Sainsbury superstore.

Worst, lost him at motorway service station. 6. Blond, blue eyed, chubby faced.Eventually some one pointed to him playing on a games machine. I'd never realised until then how many exits there are at motorway stops. I still don't like going to them now.

And I can't read the bulger case details either.

Frances

And, not us, but about six months ago DS spots x is missing off fb.parents get in touch. . Did DS know where x was. No. Did he know where they had been going and could he think of anyone who might know. X is friends of a colleague's son. So I rang colleague. No. Parents frantic.

Eventually x is found, sofa surfing, some 15 hours after he was supposed to be at home.

DS (3) was playing in his room and it went very quiet. So I went to check on him and I couldn't find him. I searched the entire house, every room, every cupboard, the loft, checked all the doors they were locked so he couldn't go out. Just as I was thinking of calling the police I heard a gentle snore from under his bed!