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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A 'sprinkle party'? Really? Draw the line America, for the love of God.

95 replies

TiffinayAchingsFeegle · 26/11/2015 19:11

So not only do we have baby showers but now America are doing sprinkle showers.

A mini baby shower for your second, third etc etc etc baby.

But just a 'sprinkle' the essentials apparently.

And you know a friend of a friend in the UK will think it's a good idea and then their friend will pay back the favour and before we know it, we're as bad as America.

OP posts:
Enjolrass · 27/11/2015 06:59

I know someone who has two showers. Her kids are 15 months apart.

Her gift list basically had everything on it so her and her dh didn't need to buy anything. Including prams.

She ended up pissed off both times that no one bought her the big ticket items. Her mum ended buying the pushchairs both times.

Fallout4fan · 27/11/2015 07:00

I think a shower or sprinkle is a nice way to celebrate the impending arrival of a baby.
Anybody would think we were really uptight in this country sometimes...Hmm

Kennington · 27/11/2015 07:04

The culture is super good at getting anyone and everyone to spend money.
Quite spectacularly grabby in mums net speak.
Let's not import that we have enough of our own terrible spending to deal with without this as well.

Enjolrass · 27/11/2015 07:07

I think a shower or sprinkle is a nice way to celebrate the impending arrival of a baby.

To be honest o don't object to the idea of a baby shower. I do object to the way they are done.

I also object to them (like the person above does) that then wants another party when the baby is a month old to celebrate.

Person above had a shower, expected gifts when baby was born and wanted someone else to host another get together.

Oh and she got the baptised together. She wanted her mil to pay for the same place they had got married in and wanted to invite more people than they had at their wedding. Luckily the dh wouldn't demand his mother pay for that.

One get together, or one get together and a baptism, I am ok with. 4 chances to buy a gift and 3 parties is too much.

I get that not everyone who has showers are like this. But quite a few are.

NinjaLeprechaun · 27/11/2015 07:15

I think that this thread is an excellent illustration of the fact that when one culture 'borrows' a tradition from another culture, they sometimes get it spectacularly wrong.

MelcombeBingham · 27/11/2015 07:26

I hate baby showers. I called in sick to mine.

callmekitten · 27/11/2015 07:37

SenecaFalls your post puts it perfectly. Thank you.

cardibach · 27/11/2015 07:48

A family friend organised one for her daughter and asked that if guests wanted to buy something to get a copy of a book they lived as a child, or one they lived to read to their own child. Lovely idea and lucky baby has a ready made library.

MelcombeBingham · 27/11/2015 09:14

The book idea is absolutely lovely.

expatinscotland · 27/11/2015 09:24

No one in the US would have a shower(s) and then another party after the baby arrives. There have also been quite a few threads on here where parents have expected baby gifts at christenings.

RachelZoe · 27/11/2015 11:02

This reply has been deleted

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CallingAllEmergencyKittens · 27/11/2015 13:17

Think it's lovely, in an everyone helps with the new arrival a little bit, in that "it take a villages" kind of way mentioned upthread.

Like baby showers, like the idea of sprinkles too (never understood why only a first born was in need of stuff/worth presents).

Always give at least two gifts anyway. One before birth for the mother (bath stuff, massage voucher) maybe at time of happy announcement, maybe at a shower. Then one after baby is born for the baby (clothes or toy) because I'm a bit superstitious about tempting fate by giving a gift for the actual baby before it arrives, as I think it could just be heart breaking to come back from hospital after a miscarriage/still birth to a pile of tiny babygros and cuddly rabbits. Plus I like to give any older siblings a little something at the same time too.

I think I especially like showers because I can't have kids so it's nice to feel I can contribute to helping lots of kids get a good start in life, even in a tiny way, plus we have more disposable cash than a lot of couples as we don't have kids.

meddie · 27/11/2015 13:59

I,m a bit umm about baby showers, I grew up with the notion that you didnt buy anything until the baby was born as it was tempting fate. You just visited after the baby arrived with presents etc.

Notimefortossers · 27/11/2015 14:07

Oh God. I think I actually attended one of these the other day?! It wasn't CALLED a sprinkle party, but it was definitely a mini baby shower for someone having their third baby. Just tea n cakes and all chipped in a couple of quid for a voucher! I've been duped and I didn't know!

ArcheryAnnie · 27/11/2015 14:44

I've only been to one in the UK. The invitation stressed that you could bring something new, something handmade, something secondhand from your own children, or nothing at all.

...I was the only one who bought something secondhand from my own baby. (It was in excellent nick, but still.) And everything was opened and coo'd over on the spot.

NEVER AGAIN.

Vagndidit · 27/11/2015 14:48

Showers for 2nd baby and beyond is still considered tacky by most Americans, actually.

ephemeralfairy · 27/11/2015 14:55

'Sprinkle shower' just makes me think of people who enjoy getting pissed on.

diddl · 27/11/2015 15:05

WEll I think if it's OK to get together & get stuff for the first, why not subsequent one?

Fair's fair afterall!

P1nkP0ppy · 27/11/2015 15:18

That went through my mind too fairy Hmm

Grabby me, me, me culture, I hate it. Thank goodness my DCs grew up long before these became de rigeur [shudders].

Sadik · 27/11/2015 15:31

"I'm a bit superstitious about tempting fate by giving a gift for the actual baby before it arrives"
^^ This - I thought it was meant to be dreadfully bad luck to give or buy baby things before the baby was born. No objection to any number of parties, though Grin

Heatherjayne1972 · 27/11/2015 16:15

Haha. If someone askes how we Brits celebrate thanksgiving just tell them it's the same way they celebrate Guy Fawkes.

SenecaFalls · 27/11/2015 16:29

Every year there are a few threads on MN of people celebrating Thanksgiving in the UK and discussing menus, dishes, etc. It was, after all, English people who held the first one. Smile

strictlylurking · 27/11/2015 16:56

Oh, I'm so sad that this is what everything thinks baby showers are about! Traditionally there was a lot of etiquette about baby shower in the States. You never ask for one, because as other posers have mentioned, that seems a bit grabby. It's not appropriate for a member of your family to throw you one (because that just seems like they're being grabby on your behalf) and if you have a gift list or a registry, you don't tell anyone unless they specifically ask you about it. If people want to bring a gift, they do and if they don't, whose business is it?

It's really just supposed to be to celebrate that a new baby is coming. Food and drinks [provided by the host(s)] and sometimes silly games or sweet sentimental activities (like writing bits of advice in a book, or everyone trying to predict the time and date the baby will be born). But, like weddings, it's just turned into a gimme, gimme kind of thing and that bums me out.

Having said that, I do think a sprinkle is kind of silly and a little desperate, particularly if it is so focused on gifts. If your friends want to throw you a party and have a bit of cake to celebrate a new baby, I don't see why not. But all this "give me what I want" is desperately tiresome.

mathanxiety · 28/11/2015 07:31

What a grim and dour bunch some of you are.

SirChenjin · 28/11/2015 09:07

Not at all. Just have different opinions of baby showers.