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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

A 'sprinkle party'? Really? Draw the line America, for the love of God.

95 replies

TiffinayAchingsFeegle · 26/11/2015 19:11

So not only do we have baby showers but now America are doing sprinkle showers.

A mini baby shower for your second, third etc etc etc baby.

But just a 'sprinkle' the essentials apparently.

And you know a friend of a friend in the UK will think it's a good idea and then their friend will pay back the favour and before we know it, we're as bad as America.

OP posts:

MandaHugNKiss · 26/11/2015 20:07

Pfb gets a shower.

Middle born a sprinkle.

Poor last, forgotten child, draws the short straw again with a rub down with a damp flannel.

Katedotness1963 · 26/11/2015 20:13

Sprinkles have been around for a long time. I don't have a problem with more than one baby shower, shouldn't every child be celebrated?

That being said, I didn't have a shower for either of mine. And, since I had fertility problems, once pfb outgrew something we gave it away. When number two came along 21 months later, we had nothing and had to buy everything new again.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 26/11/2015 20:14

I would rather call it a Baby Drizzle.

reni2 · 26/11/2015 20:15

I thought either urine or baby dust. Both not great themes.

RachelZoe · 26/11/2015 20:17

we're as bad as America.

Urgghh.

There is nothing bad about baby showers or sprinkle parties or whatever they're called (apart from a slightly twee name). It's a party, you know, for fun? I don't know why people get so riled up about these things. Lighten the fuck up, nobody holds a gun to your head and forces you to go to social events you don't want to go to.

Also, people have baby showers etc all over the world, not just America.

SirChenjin · 26/11/2015 20:22

No, a baby shower is a grabfest - if you really can't afford a packet of nappies then you're in trouble. Gumtree and ebay are fantastic things if money is a bit tight - but the whole idea of a party where you are expected (yeah, right, no-one expects - course they bloody do!) to bring a present for something that hasn't happened yet screams grabby.

What's wrong with bringing presents when the baby has actually arrived?

RachelZoe · 26/11/2015 20:33

Well someone else is actually supposed to throw one for you, you aren't supposed to throw one for yourself. Anyway there isn't anything wrong with people wanting to contribute something to someones baby.

Also, if you don't want to give a gift, maybe don't go? I have never had a baby shower, as that's not my kind of thing, but it certainly doesn't bother me if anyone else has one.

If people are the subject of a baby shower and they also have bad manners (opening gifts in front of people, gift lists, throwing it for themselves, openly expecting a gift etc) then that is them and not the party in itself. I've been to some lovely baby showers. Maybe it's just the quality of people you all hang around with? The way baby showers are described on here is very different from my experience of them (and I've been to ones all over the world, all fine) and that of my friends.

Nothing wrong with bringing presents for the baby once they've arrived of course, but why is that the only acceptable thing? Because it isn't American right?

GrinAndTonic · 26/11/2015 21:02

My SIL had a baby sprinkle. She organised her own party too.
It was such a shame that I had had alternate events on
She also asked for only blue things as she didn't want DNephew wearing pink hand me downs from DNiece who was only 13 months old at the time

SirChenjin · 26/11/2015 21:09

Yes, that's right - just don't go . When you're invited to a party (the sole purpose of which is a contribution to something that hasn't actually happened) you can say "no thank you, I find it grabby. I would much rather give a present after the baby's here - not because it's American (despite what Rachel on MN said, right?) or because you're of a different quality to the people she normally hangs about with, but because the tradition in the UK is that we wait until the baby is born and then give something".

Or you can grit your teeth and go armed with your present for your friend or relative to be polite - while wondering what's wrong with Gumtree or buying the stuff yourself like most of us do.

MrEverything · 26/11/2015 21:45

I thought it was something to do with rain parties. YANBU though!

SquinkiesRule · 26/11/2015 22:58

Oh good god, everything bad in the world is somehow attributed to America on MN.
It's just a friggin party, it's an excuse for a load of friends to get together and enjoy each others company.
most US baby showers (first born) or sprinkle meaning not as much as a shower (second or third born) are small family and friend affairs, don't involve caterers, huge budgets or any other shit you see on TV.
I've been to loads, you take a pot luck dish with you and a small gift like a pack of nappies or burp cloths in exchange you catch up with friends you haven't seen in a while.

Shakshuka · 27/11/2015 00:44

I think it's quite a nice idea. And makes sense. You go from a shower to a sprinkle. Cute.

ExBallerina · 27/11/2015 01:05

Bertie I absolutely love Renegade Mothering. I've met her before and she is just awesome.

I agree about sprinkles. It's not enough to have one kid and get a baby shower, now we need to fund your further offspring, because... Oh god, they can't share things!

I also thought baby sprinkle was a euphemism for sperm.

Postchildrenpregranny · 27/11/2015 01:29

What you describe sounds nice squinkies I obviously have a jaundiced view gained from films
Friend has just been to a baby shower for first grandchild (DIL not DD) . I await her feedback with interest
I must admit I would have hated to receive lots of (expensive ) presents for an unborn child .Would have seemed like tempting fate . But I was the type who bought the bare minimum before the event and much of that second hand (not poor, just mean).

novemberchild · 27/11/2015 01:56

I'd quite like a baby shower. They weren't a 'thing' when I had pfb nearly 20 years ago, though, and I was kind of homeless at the time anyway so I don't think it would have worked well.

Not sure I could really get away with one at 38 with DC3 though :)

pinotblush · 27/11/2015 02:03

I dont even get a baby shower let alone a sprinkle party.

When the baby is born a fuss is made and gifts are given.

This is when a new mother needs a bit of attention spent with her and the baby.

Caterina99 · 27/11/2015 02:36

I'm british but temporarily living in the US. Had DS in June. I wasn't keen but my friends were adamant that I should have a baby shower and a gift registry (I actually had 2 - one with my friends and one organised by my DHs work which was joint with another couple. That was extremely weird, but apparently it's a tradition at his work)

The one for my friends was just a party. My friend did some food and we had a cake. Most people brought a gift, but then didn't bring one after the birth, some people said they were waiting til after the baby was born and a few people actually gave me a gift both times! But usually the second gift was something tiny and super cute. Some people bought off the registry, some didn't. My friend explained its normal here and people expect it! DHs work bought us a big item from the registry.

I've also attended a few here, and they are usually pretty low key, a nice Sunday afternoon event for a couple of hours! The culture is just different here, they are totally expected and have been around for years. My 70 year old friend started telling us about her baby shower.

SenecaFalls · 27/11/2015 02:54

Caterina99 You make some very good points. Baby showers are a deeply ingrained cultural practice all over the US, with some regional variations, and have been the custom for a very long time. It is very much part of the "it takes a village" notion of the whole community coming together to welcome a new member.

And the reason for doing it before the baby is born is to help provide the parents with everything they need for the first few months. Of course, they buy some things for themselves, but much of what they will need is provided by friends and family. It's not at all "grabby" (etiquette is you don't host for yourself); it's a communal act of love.

MistressDeeCee · 27/11/2015 03:04

Thought this was a golden rain thread when I read the title. I don't like the notion of baby showers. Or "sprinkles" which I've never heard of. They just spell GREEDY to me. Im assuming that parents and both their extended family will be providing quite enough for baby, for years. Although thats not necessarily in the forefront of my mind, just that some posts in this thread seem to be trying to kid us that this is a necessity, and some big tradition. No, it isn't. The family/extended family thing tho, thats pretty much a norm.

When baby's born I buy a present - I see that as perfectly reasonable. & am also on hand if any help is needed. Housework, that kind of thing. I deal with my dislike of the greed-fest by simply not going. I don't make a big thing of it just say I've a prior engagement.

Shakshuka · 27/11/2015 03:14

Don't see why getting a gift after the baby is born is any better or worse than giving one at the baby shower.

It's not grabby any more than the tradition of giving a gift after a baby is born (and one could argue perhaps more useful).

DoctorTwo · 27/11/2015 03:31

(I've never understood the appeal of watersports.)

Nor me Annie. The very thought of waterskiing brings me out in hives.

NinjaLeprechaun · 27/11/2015 03:40

"What's wrong with bringing presents when the baby has actually arrived?"
Yes, because what people with a new baby, who maybe doesn't sleep and possibly (just mine?) doesn't stop crying, want more than anything else is to be obliged to not only attend a party, but to be the guest of honour.

CuppaSarah · 27/11/2015 05:18

As long as the focus on family and friends catching up, eating some cake and having a cup of tea and not on loads of presents. I think it's a lovely idea. After the baby is born the focus is obviously on them, so its nice to focus on the pregnant woman and any older siblings.

I once worked in a nursery and every time someone had a baby the list came out. A list of everything you needed for a baby and every staff member was made to buy from it. Regardless of if you worked with them. Then we had to stay late and have a work baby shower. So these women didn't need to buy a single thing for their babies. The cheapest thing was about £25 and if you didn't participate it was career suicide. I didn't stay there long.

Fratelli · 27/11/2015 06:07

I would have felt uncomfortable with a baby shower, never mind a sprinkle! If you want to celebrate your arrival that's fine, it sounds like fun. It's the grabby side to it I don't like. I wouldn't go to one as the main focus is the gift.

FrancesNiadova · 27/11/2015 06:33

I had 2 boys, so there were lots of baby sprinkles everywhere.
As they're 17 & 13, I missed the whole baby shower culture, which is lucky because I had morning sickness all day and didn't need anything else to induce vomit
Do you think that Betty Croker will release some new tiny baby sprinkles for cupcakes buns?

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