To think the notion of a "Birthday BJ" shouldn't exist.

[MySordidCakeSecret]

just that really.. does anyone else have to deal with this bright idea?

@MySordid: Apparently, bj have been added to the list of things men are entitled to, along with PIV. (Where is the throwing up smiley when I need it?)

In my opinion, men are not entitled to anything, and a sexual relationship can just as well work with sex acts that don't put women at risk for pregnancy. Or throat cancer.

Only if he wears a condom

men have pride

yes and so do women

its 2015

if he's mentioning it a lot, then its on his mind a lot.
i think you need to talk to him about how you feel.

You are right OP, i was being presumptuous, i was trying to give a potential hypothetical other point of view but happy to be corrected. Just taking part in the debate.

It's a shame that anyone who has an opinion that's different to the majority is instantly branded a troll.

Men are not entitled to sex

Well no. Neither are women.

I wouldn't want my relationship not to include sex though.

Your other POV stated that OP laughed in his face and told him he must be fucking joking

AKA a load of made up goady wankery.

HTH.

Mentioned in Jackie Collins 'American star' published in 1998.

The husband (big fish in small bowl town) gets a power trip it.

I'm a bit undecided.

I've never heard this as a thing and I would hate to feel coerced into any sex act. I actually can't imagine enjoying something if I knew the person doing it was deriving no pleasure at all. But I do find it a turn on to see my husband getting turned on. I would feel really shit if we didn't have as much sex and we stopped doing oral. So I don't think he's necessarily being a twat to ask.

If you really don't like doing it at all then maybe talk to him and reassure him that you do still find him massively sexy and want to have sex with him and everything but that blow jobs just really aren't something you like.

Not getting this concept.

BJs are part of your sex life or they are not.

If you do not like giving head then it does not matter if it is his Birthday. You should make it clear to him you do not like it and he should respect that.

But I hate the fact some women use sexual acts as a bargaining tool. 'Do this for me or buy this for me and I will give you a BJ' when the bloke would not get it otherwise is a fucking terrible attitude.

Give BJs if you want to and if you do not like it then don't do it. Asking for favours to get something or cos the bloke thinks he deserves a 'treat' ain't on.

It's a shame that anyone who has an opinion that's different to the majority is instantly branded a troll. Of late, this is sadly very true.

Men have pride and being humiliated is not nice.

And? Do you think you are educating people here?

Of course men and women have pride.

There's nothing wrong with not liking blow jobs, just as there's nothing wrong with liking them. You don't have to do anything sexually that you dislike.
I can imagine the idea of a 'birthday blowjob' being a bit of affectionate fun between a couple who both enjoy oral anyway, but being pressured is not good.
Have you told him that you don't enjoy giving oral? Is the rest of your sex life generally OK for both of you?

See I like giving oral but cba now so I did do a 69er with DH, on his birthday, at 9 months pregnant

wouldn't be much use in our house - DH doesn't like them.

but i havn't said anything about our other sex life.. it's fine.

it's literally just that i don't like giving or receiving oral, and yes he knows it. He doesn't pressure me much anymore, it used to be really bad but the notion is still there.. hanging over my head and i don't know how to feel about it.

"He doesn't pressure me much anymore, it used to be really bad "

Sorry to hear this. Does he know that this jokey approach is taking you back to those more pressured times?

There is a bit of a joke in general about sex on your birthday isn't there? Or is that just people I know? Like 3 of my dc are December born - people ask what happens in March? Yes it's my birthday!

Teehee!

Crazybaglady

If he knows you're not a fan then that must be hugely annoying, op.

It's ok as its offered by the giver but not ok if expected by the receiver.

Surely it's just a part of sex though and if you don't like giving them on normal days then don't give them on his birthday.

DH always jokes about it, but no it's either something we do or don't.

Pressure is always a turn off, even the memory of it is a bit of a trigger IME. He shouldn't be asking you to do something you don't want to do. Unfortunately, that's kind of the deal when you marry somebody!

I told my now-DH when I started dating him, that I would never EVER give him a BJ, on account of a horrific previous experience where my ex bf was not exactly...fresh, shall we say? I almost puked on top of him and I just could not bring myself to repeat it.

Luckily my lovely DH said no worries and he wasn't keen on receiving anyway, but would rather give.

So the whole issue has never come up again.

I think him knowing you don't like them is a massive drip feed. It changes the whole angle of the situation. (No pun intended!)